Iβm sorry, TDM. I remember my first experience of joy again after a good 12 months of severe depression. I really hope it comes to you soon.
The closest thing to βhappinessβ for me in such a place, was a distraction (whether pleasant or painful), anything to diminish the force of the unending torment.
An outlook on life can be chosen and that makes a big difference, but when it comes to mental illness, all the positive thinking in the world often canβt just βwill it away.β Unfortunately, some people donβt get that.