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Dragoneer,your back yard?
Oh, no. I saw her at one of the local parks. I wish it was my backyard because it’s so pretty there, especially in the fall. The town (technically a small city) I live is surrounded by grassland and forest on every side for many miles. I always say I live in a town in the middle of nowhere so seeing a deer, skunk, rabbit, possum, wolf, fox, and most any wildlife is not uncommon. Anyway, she didn’t seem to mind I was there too much. She continued to nibble on tree leaves after I took this pick. I didn’t want to get any closer at the risk of scaring her away.
So it turns out I can’t meet the hurdles for the dental hygienist program.
Hurdle one – Forty hours of shadow work from a reputable dentist before applying to the program. Shadowing must include hands on work, not only observations.
Hurdle two – Two letters of recommendation from professionals in the field.
Hurdle 3 – A competative ACT/SAT score. Yeah, okay.
Hurdle 4 – Of the 160 applicants last year, only 42 were admitted to the program.
Hurdle 5 “the nail in the coffin”- You’re not allowed to work while doing the two year program due to the heavy amount of study and clinics. I can’t NOT work while in school! I’m obviously not from a well-off family.
So, my only other option, if accepted, is nursing school. I don’t like the idea of being a nurse at all. One tiny slip and you could seriously hurt somebody. I’m not a really people person. I hate hospitals and the way they look and smell on the inside. I’ve been in the hospital too much my life and it’s all been a bad experience. Well, duh, it’s a hospital.
However, it seems to be my only option at this point. I guess I will have to evolve and change my attitude about it all. My sister is a nurse and does quite well. There are plenty of job openings and it pays well. It’s a large industry in my town, state, and I guess the whole country. I could be done with a BSN in 2 – 2 1/2 years. We’ll see.
dragonmelody – You’re right. It’s difficult not to get stessed about the what-ifs. They just sneak in there sometimes and freak me out, usually in the middle of the night. Also, it’s too soon after losing my dog for me to volunteer at the animal shelter. I’ll look into it eventually.
Condolences for the loss of your mother and your dad’s health. I know it must be tough dealing with such things.
Thanks for the advice and experiences everyone. It got me to thinking I might try to go back to school in the spring and TRY to find a job in the meantime. I looked over my town’s vo-tech school offerings and one program stood out to me, dental hygienist. I feel I could see myself doing that as a career. My mother was a dental assistant at one time. Teeth, oddly, interest me and having been the victim of braces and a wisdom teeth pulling at one time, haha. My dad and sister are excited about the idea because of the potential it may offer in my future. I already have my associate’s degree so that’s a plus. It is, however, a difficult full-time 2 year program and I’d likely have to add another $10K to my student loan (if I can). My current loan is only $17K. That is a lot already. It’s another big risk, but the path I’m on right now is leading to nowhere and highly unstable, like nitro glycerin unstable. Some have the opinion getting another degree is another financial trap. I have to try something, something new. For some reason losing my dog has given me a bit of enlightenment about another path I need to take in my life. I feel like part of me died, so I have to “grow” a new me. Am a making sense or just rambling? It’s kind of like the transition someone makes when they become a parent, in a way. I don’t want to be like my parents or their parents or their parents, struggling to make ends meet and working hard to make someone else’s life plush and comfortable. The cycle has to end. My sister made it out. I just wish I would have thought of this 2 years ago and got this degree first and then my art degree. Like I mentioned, my dad’s time could be running out. Then again, maybe he’ll live to 102, but I can’t just do nothing until something bad happens. I feel like my life and the people I care about are just falling away life leaves off a tree in autumn. Sometimes people have to start over and work their way up again. In my case, I was never really anywhere. Scooby-Doo, where are you? I’m still young enough to change that. Even better, that kind of job can’t be outsourced or taken over by a machine as far as I know, not completely anyway. I don’t know if it’s a crowded field, but I guess it depends on the area/state you live. I live very close to the Texas border where more opportunities might be after graduating. I used to work at an eatery with an older woman in her 40’s or 50’s. I ran into her the other day at the supermarket, she had finished her nursing degree, and was doing quite well financially, especially considering where she had come from. I’m not giving up on my artsy endeavors. Like Jennifer mentioned, it may become too taxing and I might come to hate art if I chose to pursue it as a full time career. Knowing me, that would be true. I would like to keep that as my hobby, keep it something I enjoy. Maybe my dog, my mom, my grandmother, and my childhood friend will be my guiding spirts to the right path.
Bodine, congrats on your daughter’s success. That’s wonderful! I bet you’re a proud momma. 😉 I could only imagine the pride you must feel to see your child succeed in a big way.
Tig3r06, hang in there hun. I’m so sorry you had/have to go through so much misery. I like to imagine life as a very cruel woman who favors some and kicks down others. The only way to gain her respect, if you’re in her unfavorable camp, is to kung foo fight her back and win, repeatedly if necessary.
pdlucich, thank you. Being an introvert in an extrovert’s world makes life harder than it should be. Most extroverts just don’t understand the emotional and even physical pains introverts deal with. These difficulties lead to other difficulties like bad health and severe depression. In my experience, when I don’t try to talk to a person or crowd, they figure I’m either really ticked off, a stuck up snob, or they assume there’s something wrong with my metal capacity. They avoid me in any assumption. Every time I try to speak I come off like a stuttering, babbling idiot. I’m not of a very low IQ, but to them, I might as well be. If only I could speak like I type. It’s weird. As a child I was an super extrovert and then something changed over time. I think it had a lot to do with the constant bullying I experienced in school. Kids can be so brutally mean. I was told by adults (teachers), not my parents, if I fought back verbally or physically I would be punished and it wasn’t “ladylike”. PLAH!
Rylorien, I’m sorry your in the same boat as me. I hope you’ll find your way out of this awful boat we’re in. Is there any trade schools near you? What did you major in? Oh, don’t get me started on the health insurance thing. It’s a nightmare for sure. I happened to get sick after I lost my coverage, I couldn’t afford the premiums because I live in a state with one of the highest premiums. I took the hefty penalty, which saved money in the long run. Now, I sit here hoping I don’t get seriously ill because that minor illness I had earlier drained my finances quite a bit.
Tinks, I know it’s hard. Try thinking in a different perspective. You have a job, bf and Windstone forum friends. That’s already a lot more than most can hope for, even me. It may not seem like much. As humans, we always want more out of life. It’s true, things can be better and they can also be worse, maybe they were worse at one time. If I remember correctly, you had a hard time very last year? Try not to think of what life could be and thankful for what you have so far. There’s no harm in wanting and striving for more. Go for it, but don’t let wanting consume you. Now, if I could only take my own advice. Hmmm.
Etruscan, haha! No one has ever said I write well or clearly. Thanks! I have no idea what kind of volunteer work I can do in my town. Again, the whole being an introvert thing is a major block and often keeps me from meeting people or experiencing things. It’s not that I don’t want to volunteer. I’m just plain unreasonably scared.
Jennifer, you’re right about doing art full-time. I think it would destroy any enjoyment I get out of it. Congrats on your art though! Not to sound like a groveling peasant, but you’re a inspiration to all us wanna-be artists. Melody too! 😉
Natasha, basic retail jobs are what I’ve been applying too. I don’t understand why I’m being rejected for “open to anyone” minimum wage jobs. I’ve been told by a person to leave my college degree off my resume and apps, but how to I explain the huge gap in my history then? Well, I’m still holding out hope something will come along. I get discouraged when I read stories on the indeed.com forums about how some have been looking for any kind of work for 2 years, they still can’t get hired anywhere, they have college degrees too. What’s the heck! Well, I have a few places to try next week. We’ll see how that goes. You have given me a few ideas I haven’t considered. Thank you.
I’m glad you found your way through “weeds of life”, as I like to call it, and into a good job. It gives me hope it can be done with enough time and effort.
Thank you everyone. She meant a lot to me, more than I could express in simple words. I still cry about her every day. She was my first dog after all. I am, however, adjusting. My family gets annoyed when I talk about her and still cry. She wasn’t their dog or bonded closely to them so they don’t understand. I suffer from anxiety. She was the one constant in my life I could metaphorically “lean on”. In some ways, losing her hurts as much as losing my mother.
As far as getting another dog, I will take y’alls (forgive my southern slang) advice and consider getting a rescue in the future. It had been so long since I had a puppy. I had forgotten how much time they need from you being only weeks old and I won’t have that kind of time to give in the future. An older dog would be best for me. However, given my current unstable financial situation, it will be many years before I get another pet. I don’t want to get attached to another animal and have to give it up because I couldn’t afford to feed it or myself. My anxiety is worse without Babygirl. I have difficulty sleeping at night, but I guess I’ll have to manage somehow.
Kim, you’re right. I will need to find a dog I won’t compare to Babygirl. I know it wouldn’t be fair to the new dog. I’ll take a few years to heal and financial stability before I consider getting another. Perhaps by then I’ll have a stable life worked out and I’ll be able to accept a new dog and maybe a cat too. I feel awful I had to let Reese go, however, she needed a lot of help and I couldn’t provide it. She was severely under socialized, even for a puppy. She went to a foster home where she can learn how to be a dog, play with other puppies, and learn she doesn’t have to be absolutely terrified of linoleum floors. She was much too “comfortable” living in a confined space and if you took her out of it she would get very upset. It’s like the only interaction she had from birth was with humans. I’m wondering if her mother wasn’t around and if she didn’t get to interact much with her brother. I almost suspect she was younger than I was told. Poor baby. Luckily, she so darn cute she’ll get adopted very quickly when she’s ready.
StormDancer, congrats on your new pup and condolences on Dara. I’ll remember the advice you and others have told me next time I bring a dog into my life.
So I did a buy it now on an item and paid right away. Seller shipped item and I received it. Although they didn’t pack well at all the item luckily made it with no damage. I gave them good feedback, but sent a pm giving packaging feedback. They just now opened an unpaid item case without even messaging me so I look at my paypal and it says that my payment is pending their acceptance. Either they are new and didnt know or they’re trying to get me to pay twice. So I sent them a screenshot attachment via resolution center pm of my invoice showing I paid before they shipped and that the payment is pending their acceptance in their paypal. I’m just frustrated.
That’s an odd thing to have happened. Has it been resolved yet?
Stay safe everyone effected by the hurricane, flooding, and the voluteers who are giving up their time to help out others in need. It’s so nice to see there’s good and caring people left in the world, in this country. Good luck.
A little positive update…I made a memorial for my dog and found this little doxie statue at a garage sale. It’s made by an out of business (I think) company called, Stone Critters. Has anyone heard of them? Originally, it was painted a much lighter red-brown. I painted it a little darker, added some black accents to match my dog’s coat, and made a felt collar along with a charm collar. I also framed a nice poem called, “Where I’ll Always Be” and a photo collage of her. For those who have lost a pet, it’s a nice poem to have, one of the better ones I’ve found in my opinion.
Dear diary….just kidding (sort of).
I feel bad because it seems I have nothing positive to say lately. It’s been a really bad year…the worst since my Mom died. I had high hopes this year would have been a good year. It seems it’s been bad to a lot of people. So, I have to do some redundant whining. For me this year started out awesome. I had won the mystery raffle and recieved the most beautiful piece ever, in my eyes, and I would have loved to keep it forever. Sadly, I fell sick for a few months shortly after. Medical bills piled up and I was left with no choice but to sell ALL my Windstones to pay for my stupid bills since I couldn’t find a job that had health benefits (still in that dang boat right now). Okay, so that sucked. I’ll live. Next, my sister gets preggo, which isn’t quite a bad thing, but she’s changed and become short tempered. She doesn’t talk to me as much as she used to. She’s in a lot of pain after badly hurting her leg and she has to walk around with a cane at her young age. Okay, I can let that be. She’s preggo afterall. I recently got into a fight with her over the next bad and worst thing to happen to me this year…my beloved dog passed away. I about lost my dang mind losing her. Anyway, we got into a fight about whether or not I should get another dog. Well, I did. I didn’t tell her about it because she likely would have said, “I told you so” to what happened next. Basically, the new puppy didn’t want anything to do with me AT ALL. She adored my dad. Given she was suppose to be my new dog, that was a slap in the face to quote a forum member. I had to rehome her with my dad’s ecouragment because he didn’t want the dog to play favorites. It hurt because I liked that cute little baby, but she could care less if I was in the room. She went to a good foster home with other puppies she could play with at least. Also, yesterday was my mom’s birthday and nobody acknowledged it, at least not outwardly like they normally do every year. I’m still jobless even though I keep applying to places, some places for the second time (I live in a small town). So, now I’m wondering what else this year? I know my problems are trivial to people going through worse than me right now, so I guess it all sounds petty. I feel like everything and everbody is falling away. I’ve begun selling off my other fantasy collectibles. Since losing my dog I don’t want them around anymore. Weird, I know. I could deal with everything else this year fine except for loosing my dog. I still think about her everyday. She was like my child. Some days are okay and some rip me apart. That’s how it is I guess. Today is national dog day. Everyone that has a canine furbaby be thankful for every minute, every mess, every “kiss”, every bark, paw prints on the floor, hair on your clothes, and every goofy and irritating moment. Dog don’t live long enough.
That’s odd with the non paying bidders. Did you message them to see what the deal was? I just listed some listings last week and there was still an option for 30 day listings. I just chose 7 days as I find people tend to buy sooner if they are given less time on a listing.
I don’t really bother contacting people about why they haven’t paid. I lay out my terms in the listing description. If they don’t pay in 3 days the order gets cancelled and item relisted. If they needed more time they need to contact me.
As far as the listing duration thing…I was wrong. They still do 30 day listings. It’s just this one item I listed I’m having problems with. For some reason it only lets me list it for 7 days and it’s NOT an auction. It’s a “buy it now” item. It’s not an unusual item or anything. Must be a glitch. However, the whole 30 cents per listing thing is still a problem. Don’t they get enough from taking a cut of the sale! Between all the eBay fees, increased shipping costs, and PayPal fees it’s getting difficult to ask a reasonable price and turn a little profit.
Grrr, it’s happened again. Another no-pay buyer and what really ticks me off is they have 200 + positive feedback. Don’t make an offer on my stuff and not pay! Trolls.
Also, does ebay not do 30 day listings anymore? I can only do 7 day or less “buy it now” listings and they charge me 30 cents per listing now. Greedy blankers.
Thank you for the kind words Ela_Hara, GardenNinja, and StormDancer. Looking at Babygirl’s pictures and doing something in honor of her makes me feel a little better. I’m working on a personal logo right now that will incorporate her. I’m not much of a scrapbooker either, however, I can make an acceptation.
I thought I was ready for another dog, I thought another dog would help. Clearly, I was wrong. I had to take her to the shelter and they’re sending her to a foster home until she’s old enough (had all her shots) to be adopted out. They’re confident she’ll be adopted same day once she’s ready. I feel awful in more ways than I can say. Poor baby was so scared. I can only hope she can go to a better home than I could give her. She was very socially underdeveloped and needed to be socialized with people and other dogs. I couldn’t provide that for her. I feel I made a mistake giving her up, at the same time I cried when she wouldn’t do something like Babygirl or act like Babygirl did. For example, Babygirl was a “kisser” and loved tummy rubs. Reese didn’t want any of that. My dad said I needed to let Reese go to a new home because she was making me worse, again, not her fault. I made a mistake not allowing a dog in a litter to pick me. I just bought some random dog. I couldn’t take a chance of her never bonding with me. She seemed pretty attached to my dad already and he didn’t want that. She was suppose to be my dog. Like GardenNinja said, it was a slap in the face. I haven’t had a year this bad since my Mom died. Aside from Babygirl and Reese, it’s been one continuous crap fest of bad things this year.
Well, I have to rehome the new puppy. I thought she could help heal my broken heart, but she just made it worse. She came out of her shell and started exploring, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I cared for her from day one. I played with her, pet her, fed her, let her sleep next me, and cuddle with me. My dad plays with her for two minutes and he’s her favorite and only. He’s gone all day she runs to his chair looking for him, whining, and sleeps next to it. She completely ignores me when he’s here and even when he’s not here. She’d rather sit with him than me. My dad doesn’t even want anything to do with her and he doesn’t want to be around her. She’s a man’s dog apparently. It’s not her fault she is that way, but I can’t raise a dog that cares nothing for me…not even a little. I read other stories of people who have experienced the same as me. There’s no reason dogs choose their people, they just do and there’s nothing I can do to change that. I’m done with pets for a long while. This burned me so much, I can’t go through another heartbreak. It hurts to lose a dog that thinks your everything and loves you so much and then have that cares nothing for you. I don’t think time will change her mind.
She’s only 6 weeks, unfortunately. I didn’t know that until I met the seller. Supposedly the puppies had been kept inside their house. I named her Reese because of her peanut butter chocolate color. She’s the size of a toilet paper role so I imagine I must be like an intimidating moving mountain to her. It’s been so long since I’ve been around puppies. I was only a teen when I got Babygirl so I’m not sure what’s normal. I just know Babygirl, even at her young age, was almost fearless.
So far Reese attempts to play, but she likes to bite when she does and she’ll only play if she’s on the puppy pad. Ewe! She must have been confined to a small area because she’s afraid to leave the puppy pad. That’s the only place she feels comfortable…aside from my lap. She tries to tear her puppy pad apart too.
