Female Dogs Vs Male Dogs – What's Your Opinion?

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  • #1529064
    StormDancer
    Participant

      Awww great name for her. 6 weeks is still pretty young. Her eyes have only been open about 3 weeks and really she only started to move around in the last 3 weeks too.
      She will soon be all over your house. Right now the puppy pad has her scent on it so to her it’s a safe spot. You can take whatever she is sleeping on and place it somewhere away from the puppy pad a bit and see if she will feel ok to play on her blanket/towel/bed.
      When she bites, do as Linda suggested and replace your hand with an acceptable toy. She will soon learn that she can chew on that and not you. It just takes consistency and patience.

      Looking for:
      "COSMIC SHIFT DRAGONS and KI-RINS" and the "OCTOPUS TANUKI TEST PAINT #1"

      #1529149
      Dragoneer_88
      Participant

        Well, I have to rehome the new puppy. I thought she could help heal my broken heart, but she just made it worse. She came out of her shell and started exploring, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I cared for her from day one. I played with her, pet her, fed her, let her sleep next me, and cuddle with me. My dad plays with her for two minutes and he’s her favorite and only. He’s gone all day she runs to his chair looking for him, whining, and sleeps next to it. She completely ignores me when he’s here and even when he’s not here. She’d rather sit with him than me. My dad doesn’t even want anything to do with her and he doesn’t want to be around her. She’s a man’s dog apparently. It’s not her fault she is that way, but I can’t raise a dog that cares nothing for me…not even a little. I read other stories of people who have experienced the same as me. There’s no reason dogs choose their people, they just do and there’s nothing I can do to change that. I’m done with pets for a long while. This burned me so much, I can’t go through another heartbreak. It hurts to lose a dog that thinks your everything and loves you so much and then have that cares nothing for you. I don’t think time will change her mind.

        #1529155
        Ela_Hara
        Participant

          I”m sorry Dragoneer. Good luck finding a new home for Reese. She’s still so young I’m sure she will adapt to a new family, but so sorry that you need to do that and have your heart broken again. I believe that feeling that you need more time to heal before trying with another dog is the correct one. It took almost a year for me to feel like trying to find the ‘right’ new fur baby for me. I’m sure you’ll find another, it just seems like it isn’t quite the right time for you.

          It’ll get better.
          Hugs!

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          #1529158
          GardenNinja
          Participant

            I’m so sorry Dragoneer. That has to be horrible, getting a smack in the face like that when you are already down. Take comfort in your memories of Babygirl.
            If you don’t already scrapbook, may I suggest you get help from someone who does to make some pages for her? I don’t scrapbook, but I went to a meeting/training session about it, and made a page of my first cat. She was still living at the time, and I am so glad I did that. Scrapbooking still doesn’t interest me, but I do love my one page.

            My keyboard is broken. I keep pressing "Escape", but I'm still here.

            #1529163
            StormDancer
            Participant

              I’m sorry to hear that Dragoneer. Puppies can take a while before they bond, especially one so young. I know that both of my new ones are still working on bonding. Kieva has been here almost 7 weeks and she is just now starting to bond well and Brinn is still wanting to bond more to the other dogs. But I also know that she will soon bond to me as well. It just takes patience, sometimes a lot of it. I would guess Reese isn’t bonding with your dad, so much as he probably smells like something from her old home.

              I agree that it sounds like you need more time to heal from Babygirls loss. Hopefully you can find Reese a good home soon.

              I also like GardenNinja’s suggestion of maybe making a scrapbook page for Babygirl. Perhaps that will help you heal as well.

              Looking for:
              "COSMIC SHIFT DRAGONS and KI-RINS" and the "OCTOPUS TANUKI TEST PAINT #1"

              #1529169
              Dragoneer_88
              Participant

                Thank you for the kind words Ela_Hara, GardenNinja, and StormDancer. Looking at Babygirl’s pictures and doing something in honor of her makes me feel a little better. I’m working on a personal logo right now that will incorporate her. I’m not much of a scrapbooker either, however, I can make an acceptation.

                I thought I was ready for another dog, I thought another dog would help. Clearly, I was wrong. I had to take her to the shelter and they’re sending her to a foster home until she’s old enough (had all her shots) to be adopted out. They’re confident she’ll be adopted same day once she’s ready. I feel awful in more ways than I can say. Poor baby was so scared. I can only hope she can go to a better home than I could give her. She was very socially underdeveloped and needed to be socialized with people and other dogs. I couldn’t provide that for her. I feel I made a mistake giving her up, at the same time I cried when she wouldn’t do something like Babygirl or act like Babygirl did. For example, Babygirl was a “kisser” and loved tummy rubs. Reese didn’t want any of that. My dad said I needed to let Reese go to a new home because she was making me worse, again, not her fault. I made a mistake not allowing a dog in a litter to pick me. I just bought some random dog. I couldn’t take a chance of her never bonding with me. She seemed pretty attached to my dad already and he didn’t want that. She was suppose to be my dog. Like GardenNinja said, it was a slap in the face. I haven’t had a year this bad since my Mom died. Aside from Babygirl and Reese, it’s been one continuous crap fest of bad things this year.

                 

                 

                 

                #1529411
                Dragoneer_88
                Participant

                  A little positive update…I made a memorial for my dog and found this little doxie statue at a garage sale. It’s made by an out of business (I think) company called, Stone Critters. Has anyone heard of them? Originally, it was painted a much lighter red-brown. I painted it a little darker, added some black accents to match my dog’s coat, and made a felt collar along with a charm collar. I also framed a nice poem called, “Where I’ll Always Be” and a photo collage of her. For those who have lost a pet, it’s a nice poem to have, one of the better ones I’ve found in my opinion.

                  #1529423
                  Ela_Hara
                  Participant

                    Awwwww… That’s truly so Perfect!
                    A great memorial for your Babygirl.

                    God Bless.

                    IN SEARCH OF MY NEXT GRAILS:
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                    Kickstarter 'Rainbow Tiger' Bantam Dragon

                    *~*~*~* Ela_Hara: The DragonKeeper *~*~*~*
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                    #1529440
                    StormDancer
                    Participant

                      That is a beautiful tribute to Babygirl. I hope you can begin to heal now.

                      Looking for:
                      "COSMIC SHIFT DRAGONS and KI-RINS" and the "OCTOPUS TANUKI TEST PAINT #1"

                      #1529584
                      GardenNinja
                      Participant

                        That is sweet.

                        My keyboard is broken. I keep pressing "Escape", but I'm still here.

                        #1529599
                        Kim
                        Blocked

                          It is always hard to lose a beloved pet but hopefully you will heal in time and the memorial is very nice!  I would suggest once you have healed more to maybe look at getting a different breed of puppy that will not remind you of her so you can have a fresh start with a new dog you won’t compare to the last one.  Every dog is different and they all deserve love in the way that’s comfortable for them.  Getting a new dog and comparing them to the old one or expecting them to act the same is kind of like getting a new boyfriend and expecting him to be just like your last boyfriend and getting upset if he treats you differently.  It’s not fair to compare them.  If you had a female dog, then maybe get a male dog that looks nothing like her or look at getting a rescue dog that you could save the life of.  Some rescue dogs can be amazing and very grateful to have a new home and I find it’s much easier to take over raising an adult dog than starting all over again with a puppy.  Yes a puppy can bond with you if you find one that picks you but I have always adopted older shelter dogs that were great.  We had 4 dogs at one point, all mixed breeds, all rescues and they were all great dogs.  I adopted a border collie years ago that was number four for us and he was 4 years old and he had not been trained and was very disobedient at first but I trained him, took him to obedience and agility classes and took him out sheep herding and after a year of patience with him, he became the most obedient, loving dog.  But that took a year of work.  The other 3 smaller dogs we had did not need that much work but again it depends on the breed and age.  I can’t have dogs now where I am renting but when I move to another house in the future I am sure I will get another rescue dog.

                          Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!

                          #1529604
                          StormDancer
                          Participant

                            I agree with Kim. Biggest thing to understand is, as Kim said, no two dogs are alike and  bonding isn’t going to be the same with with any of them. Each dog will be different.

                            Kieva was 9 months old when I got her. Nicely past the housebreaking and the “NO!” Don’t eat that! stage. She is going to end up bonded more tightly to me than most of the dogs that I raised from pups. And I had/have incredible bonds with all of my dogs. Kieva is a Cane Corso. They tend to take their time to warm up to anyone new. It has taken her a while to bond but I have had her  just over 2 months now and she is now the first to come looking if I am not where she expects me to be. All my dogs sleep right next to my bed on beds of their own (who needs carpeting or rugs when most of your floor space is taken up by dog beds???) And Kieva has worked her way into having the spot closest to the head of the bed where she can sit up 4 or 5 times a night and place her head and paw onto my pillow until I reach out and rub between her eyes a few times, then she lays back down and goes to sleep. She took her time bonding, which I expected as she had been in rescue for most of her life. Even though she was lucky in the sense that she was fostered during her time there, because of her shattered elbow. She still ended up in a new foster home about every 8 weeks. So she is just now realizing that she really is here to stay. She is super smart and extremely easy to train. She does her best to figure out what I want and then she gets it done. Tell her once or twice that something she did was correct and she is so happy with herself and then has that behavior down pat. Tell her NO one time and she, so far, has not repeated whatever I had to tell her no for.

                            Brinn is the other pup I rescued 4 weeks ago. Once again I didn’t expect bonding right away. At 9 weeks of age when I got her I knew that she would still be looking to the other dogs for most of her support. Now she is 3 months old and seeks me out a lot of the time. She has learned that I don’t play rough but the other dogs will. But if she wants her belly rubbed or her ears scratched I am best for that. She is a loving pup that really likes, no, LOVES belly rubs. She has figured out that the other dogs pay attention to what I say or do so that has helped to teach her that I am pack leader, so now she is quickly becoming more strongly bonded to me than she is to them.

                            Svayaa is my Boerboel. They, as a breed, seem to bond extremely strongly, extremely quickly.  This is part of the breed temperament though. So bonding is known to be fast and strong with them as a general rule. Svayaa bonded in about a week. She is a great dog, super smart and playful. She loves most people but she sure as heck wont do anything for anyone except me. Everyone else, to her, is just someone that might rub her ears.

                            Dara,the Boerboel I had to have put down in January was 8 weeks old when I got her. Within 2 days she was bonded so strongly to me that it took 3 weeks before she allowed my husband to touch her. She never was happy letting anyone touch her but me. Although she allowed it if I told her she had to.

                             

                            So please, when you are ready for another dog, consider one from a rescue or a shelter and give them TIME to adjust before expecting a bond. They have to get used to an entirely new home when they are brought into your house.

                            Take your time finding a dog that you feel connected to. The connection is a great place to start. Then you can work towards the bond.

                            Find peace and healing soon. Babygirl is still with you in your heart and she always will be.

                             

                             

                            Looking for:
                            "COSMIC SHIFT DRAGONS and KI-RINS" and the "OCTOPUS TANUKI TEST PAINT #1"

                            #1529618
                            Dragoneer_88
                            Participant

                              Thank you everyone. She meant a lot to me, more than I could express in simple words. I still cry about her every day. She was my first dog after all. I am, however, adjusting. My family gets annoyed when I talk about her and still cry. She wasn’t their dog or bonded closely to them so they don’t understand. I suffer from anxiety. She was the one constant in my life I could metaphorically “lean on”. In some ways, losing her hurts as much as losing my mother.

                              As far as getting another dog, I will take y’alls (forgive my southern slang) advice and consider getting a rescue in the future. It had been so long since I had a puppy. I had forgotten how much time they need from you being only weeks old and I won’t have that kind of time to give in the future. An older dog would be best for me. However, given my current unstable financial situation, it will be many years before I get another pet. I don’t want to get attached to another animal and have to give it up because I couldn’t afford to feed it or myself. My anxiety is worse without Babygirl. I have difficulty sleeping at night, but I guess I’ll have to manage somehow.

                              Kim, you’re right. I will need to find a dog I won’t compare to Babygirl. I know it wouldn’t be fair to the new dog. I’ll take a few years to heal and financial stability before I consider getting another. Perhaps by then I’ll have a stable life worked out and I’ll be able to accept a new dog and maybe a cat too. I feel awful I had to let Reese go, however, she needed a lot of help and I couldn’t provide it. She was severely under socialized, even for a puppy. She went to a foster home where she can learn how to be a dog, play with other puppies, and learn she doesn’t have to be absolutely terrified of linoleum floors. She was much too “comfortable” living in a confined space and if you took her out of it she would get very upset. It’s like the only interaction she had from birth was with humans. I’m wondering if her mother wasn’t around and if she didn’t get to interact much with her brother. I almost suspect she was younger than I was told. Poor baby. Luckily, she so darn cute she’ll get adopted very quickly when she’s ready.

                              StormDancer, congrats on your new pup and condolences on Dara. I’ll remember the advice you and others have told me next time I bring a dog into my life.

                               

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