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Work Advice – What To Do When Your New Coworker Is AWFUL

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  • #1593553
    drag0nfeathers
    Participant

      So sick right now I want to scream… nothing to do with work but words cannot express how upset I am right now. I think I need another Windstone break for a while.

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      #1593594
      Suzanne-Marie
      Participant

        So sorry Drag0nfeathers…

        #1595351
        drag0nfeathers
        Participant

          So… between work and life I suppose this has become my rant thread now. Sorry I haven’t posted much. Haven’t been in a great state of mind to do so. I am a bit of the black sheep in the family due to my father passing away when I was very young. My siblings were all a lot older then me (frankly, my mother reminds me often how she probably shouldn’t have had me because of her advanced age at the time… I was a bit of a surprise as the rest of the kids were high school age when I came along) So when we lost my dad it kind of resulted in me being shipped off with relatives for much my earlier life because my mother kind of jumped ship and I didn’t see a ton of her until I was in high school after her insurance money ran out. My older sister basically raised me for the most part… so… the holidays are always kind of a stressful and awkward time of year. I get along well enough with my brothers and of course my sister exceptionally well, but my mother not so much. Mostly because she doesn’t understand why we aren’t close… it’s an un-winnable argument I have never started (because it would NOT end well) but really? You took off with 2 million dollars of insurance money because you couldn’t “deal with your husband’s death” and left your barely an adult daughter to raise 2 teenage boys and a 5 year old only to come back unexpectedly and kick us out of our home a decade later so you and your new husband could live there when your money ran out and you DON’T know why you kind of suck? Not to mention they didn’t pay the taxes and it got foreclosed on for no reason other then they didn’t pay taxes… the 5 bedroom, fully paid off house we all grew up in, gone because you’re an idiot. So yea… we’re all a little bitter, but at least the rest of the family had a responsible dad until they were somewhat grown. I’ve never known stability, which is probably why as an adult I am an OCD freak when it comes to having all my ducks in a row. Forced to grow up from an early age, my back up plans have back up plans. LOL! Anyway, this is just a preface to the weird Xmas moment this post is actually about…

          She has been very sick this whole year. She had a severe infection in her intestines that resulted in her getting a colostomy bag after having her entire large intestine removed to save her life and then she soon after had the reversal (which I said I thought was way too soon) and due to her age and not fully recovering from the initial surgery it all resulted in an excruciatingly long recovery process. I visited of course, not as much as others, but I did my share. My stepfather was put through the ringer because none of us kids really are up to the task of taking care of her full time. We all work full time jobs and to be frank, we all have a strained relationship with her, especially me. I actually even bought them a dryer while she was in the hospital because my stepdad was just so stressed out and bills kept stacking up I wanted to do something to help. Nevertheless, she pulled through it all despite a few scares, but since then she’s been exceedingly nice the past few months as a result of almost passing away. We have all been pleasantly surprised by unexpected phone calls just to “say hi” (which she NEVER did before) and things like taking an actual interest in our lives, remembering prior conversations we had and asking how things are going with such and such. It used to be if you heard from her there was either something very wrong, or she needed or wanted something. Whether the sudden change is real or not, I can legitimately see her putting in some effort to maintain a better relationship with her children… at least with my brothers and my sister…

          We were all together for Thanksgiving did a secret santa name pulling on Thanksgiving since everyone for the most part was on a tight budget this year. It was a bad year for all of us really. I was lucky enough to pull my boyfriend and I got him a new cellphone which he has desperately been in need of and he was very happy however my mother apparently pulled me to buy for. Despite the secret santa, she gave something to each of her children. My brothers both got $50 in scratch tickets and new leather coats… my sister got a diamond ring… I got a soiled tablecloth… she said it was my grandmother’s but I recognize it from her house when I had gone to have the dryer hooked up while she was in the hospital.

          I didn’t say anything. I was polite and I thanked her, but I’m trying to process what a gift like that is supposed mean. She seemed annoyed I wasn’t grateful enough for it even though I thanked her for it. I wasn’t all “OMG! You shouldn’t have done this!” but… I mean… come on… (this is the same woman who would split up a 6 pack of socks by giving each of us 3 socks each or getting a Xmas stocking and stuffing it with cotton balls three quarters of the way and putting one gift sticking out of the top so it LOOKED like they were full of toys) so believe me I wasn’t expecting much but…. a stained tablecloth? It’s white and has a circular brown smudge ring from where the rim was exposed and dirty from being used on the previous round table top it was on, and it looks like there is a big fruit punch stain right on it like a drink was spilled on it recently. It just… made me feel like complete trash to her. I don’t care about getting a diamond ring or a leather coat, believe me, but what possess you to buy such extravagant gifts for your other children and give one a used, soiled, tablecloth? Couldn’t even be bothered to wash it? Don’t get me wrong… I’m greatful to have an heirloom of some kind (because I have none) and I don’t in any way want to disgrace my grandmother’s memory, but if that’s indeed what it was… wouldn’t you have taken better care of it yourself before gifting it to a child or grandchild? I dunno… lies have poured from her mouth so easily my whole life I have no idea if it was my grandmothers or not. The whole thing is just really making me wonder… why? Do you hate me so much to do that in front of my whole family? Does she really not see something wrong with it? Am I the one who is being disrespectful? Would it have been more hurtful to receive nothing?

          In other news I could have done without being told I have to also get a root canal this week.

          At least work is still nice and quiet…

          Got a busted Windstone?
          drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
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          #1595352
          Ela_Hara
          Participant

            And your brothers and sister, who were NOT your Mom’s Secret Santa recipients AND who each got Extravagant gifts from her, said nothing about this OBVIOUSLY Lopsided gift to you?!?!? They didn’t even ‘feel bad’ in private about it to you? Not even your sister who is closest to you? What does that say about THEM?
            I’m so sorry – hope the rest of your 2019 goes well and that 2020 is a much better year.

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            #1595353
            drag0nfeathers
            Participant

              Nobody really said anything no, but also nobody noticed and I didn’t make a big deal at the time. I was so embarassed I just kind of quietly put it aside to not make a spectacle of it and gave her a hug and thanked her. My sister and the ring thankfully stole most of the attention away from what i was doing as we all opened the gifts at the same time.

              Once everyone had gone home my sister later asked what mom had gave me and when I told her she just shook her head and said she did at least think it was my grandmother’s. I wasn’t particularly close with any of my grandparents so I have no way of knowing.

              My sistee added the diamond ring she got was one of my mother’s old ones, like trying to play it down to make me feel better. My mother was wearing it in the hospital at first but has lost so much weight from being ill it just doesnt fit anymore so it’s not as if she paid out of pocket for it. *shrug*

              I guess that’s how I will remember my mom now when she does eventually go…. as a soiled tablecloth…

              Got a busted Windstone?
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              #1595355
              Bodine
              Participant

                Wow,I am so sorry she breaks your heart DF.I hate to say we have something in common besides Windstones. My mother told me on the 4th of July one year that the only people she loved was her two grand-daughters she raised,their kids and her boyfriend that just left.I felt my heart turn to ash and float away in the breeze.I had not said or done a damn thing,I started crying,said nothing,I was raised that way,but I walked away and never looked back.Didn’t go to her funeral either.I just looked at it as she has as much right to feel how she does as I have a right to write her off.I know how you feel and I am truly sorry you have to experience it.

                Every act matters.No matter how small💞
                (Wanted......Brimstone Lap)
                Male Hearth....one day🤞Dream on.

                #1595359
                drag0nfeathers
                Participant

                  Thank you Bodine, and I’m sorry you have had to go through something similar. It’s my own thoughts and over analyzing, paranoid brain that makes it so much worse…

                  A part of me is still wondering… did she seem annoyed because nobody noticed her attempt to shame me to the rest of the family? Perhaps pretended not to notice her twisted attempt to once again reaffirm in front of my other siblings that I am indeed hot garbage compared to them? Did they not say anything as to not feed into it in an effort to spare my feelings at the time… maybe it was just too awkward and they didn’t think it was their place to speak up (we’re all rather non confrontational when it comes to my mother) We’re they all so absorbed in their own moments that they really didn’t notice at all and I’m just being paranoid and overthinking everything? (I really don’t think either of my brothers even know unless my sister said something, but I doubt she would have) or has this just become so “normal” to them that I’m treated like that it just didn’t phase them… like it was expected and therefore, not a big deal to anyone but me… or am I really just being ungrateful?
                  I dunno, situations like this just makes me question where everyone’s loyalties lay and I end up thinking the worst and it makes me just feel worse and worse about myself…
                  I don’t understand it… I am the ONLY one in the family who is NOT a convicted felon… I am the only one who finished high school… I was never a drunk or a drug dealer… I love my siblings like no others despite their flaws, but why do my feelings have to be overlooked by everyone because “You know that’s just how Ma is.” It makes me want to just disappear from my family entirely. I really don’t think I would be missed.
                  Did I mention I hate the holidays?

                  Got a busted Windstone?
                  drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
                  *OPEN for repairs*

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                  Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
                  Tattoo Mother Kirin
                  Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
                  Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
                  Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
                  Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
                  Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
                  Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

                  #1595364
                  Bodine
                  Participant

                    I have been where you are sorta but know exactly how you feel.I have had all these same feelings as you,all the same disrespect undeserved, and as for me,I place my value in myself above what anyone else may think, and have never dropped to her pettiness that has been thrown at me since we returned from the foster homes to her.I have never lowered myself to her level,always showed respect and even though she deemed me unworthy I considered myself a better person for it.Do not feel bad because you are not like that,be proud.Your siblings may just be self-interested,may not want conflict but it seems like you stand alone.That just makes you stronger.I am not one that needed “mom”but others have a very strong bond.Do what you need for you but trust me on one thing,you cannot make someone love you.No matter what you do.Just accept you have to live the one life you are given for you.Good luck and be strong

                    Every act matters.No matter how small💞
                    (Wanted......Brimstone Lap)
                    Male Hearth....one day🤞Dream on.

                    #1595376
                    Ela_Hara
                    Participant

                      As Bodine said… Value yourself. Ultimately the only person you need to believe in and be accountable to is you. Life is too short to try and please others that don’t respect you. Be happy and have a good attitude, which is the only thing about them you can control – your attitude regarding how they try to make you feel. You won’t feel belittled unless you let them make you feel that way. Be a Grand Duck and let the water fall off those wonderful, beautiful wing feathers!

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                      #1595397
                      Bodine
                      Participant

                        👍

                        Every act matters.No matter how small💞
                        (Wanted......Brimstone Lap)
                        Male Hearth....one day🤞Dream on.

                        #1595436
                        sherry10151982
                        Participant

                          When people ask you about your family just mention that your an orphan and you won’t have to explain or remind yourself of the heartbreak and constant disregard of you and disrespect of your feelings and needs. Completely remove yourself from all negativity because that’s where you’re going to find blackness and hurt and loathing which is not good for you. You’re the one who has complete control of your life and your the one who has come out of a bad situation and thrived regardless of what your mother has done to you. Kill her with kindness if you MUST be in her presence god forbid. When you exude strength and kindness it can help you get through the tough times and also drive those who are out to bring you down crazy. LOL!! I really hope you find comfort in something Drag0n because it hurts when I see others hurting. God bless you sweetie!

                          #1604024
                          drag0nfeathers
                          Participant

                            It’s been a while since I posted a work rant. For once this has nothing to do with my co- designer who is now back to work finally.

                            So, I get one of these customers on average one every 2 or 3 years it seems. That kind of person who makes you literally want to just rage quit your own job. Those customers that you can NEVER make happy and have absolutely unrealistic expectations and no matter how much you try to make them understand how unreasonable they are being they just continue to question your intelligence and ability to do your job and customer care you no freaking stop even they are DEAD WRONG! Then to make that situation especially worse, the managers who you present the facts to end up taking the customer’s side anyway just to keep the customer happy and meet their unreasonable requests?

                            So here are the facts.

                            Customer comes in for a design. Brings his own measurements which are rough because the place is being completely gutted down to the studs and walls are being moved. It’s a kitchen that is up in an attic apartments and the ceilings are slanted so their are no wall cabinets. Just bases and a few tall ones in the areas the walls are being moved to accommodate the heights because OF COURSE we want to fit a double oven, built in microwave, glass door wine fridge, and a gas cooktop in an island in this TINY FREAKING ATTIC SPACE. The island literally has 24″ of walking space around it and I used the dimensions tool to show that. I tried to talk them out of this, and go for something that isn’t so cramped, but they HAD to have it ALL! “We will make it fit” Famous last words every time. Measurements and a design layout are put into my design software and the customer takes all his information and vanishes for 3 months. Customer then unexpectedly shows up on tax free weekend (last August) to buy because they want the savings. Look over the design and once my memory is jogged a bit I ask, “Oh yes, did we ever get some final measurements?” Well, no. the job still hasn’t really been started but we want to buy them anyway. Red flags immediately. I notate all over the design that everything is the customer’s choice and responsibility to cover myself because I can already see this turning into a problem, yet the kitchen is sold and I don’t hear a peep about if for 6 months. Everything seems as if it actually worked out.

                            Here comes Feb. The customer sent in his girlfriend’s father (who is apparently also the installer) and demands that I be fired because the kitchen I designed won’t fit. The had to move their walls more then expected because of the slanted ceilings. You can barely get around the island and his tall cabinets won’t fit around his refrigerator because the ceiling slants interfere. (even though it was discussed the walls were all being built out to prevent this and I warned them IN WRITING this was going to happen) They are upset about their electrician taking forever and want compensation for their time and money to build out their walls to fit the cabinets because the measurements were wrong.

                            Did Lowe’s measure? No. Did Lowe’s install, or in any way have anything to do with your electrician? No. Did the customer have the opportunity to look over the measurements before he signed a Lowe’s no liability for fit of cabinetry clause? Yes. Three months time in fact. Who is now in trouble for not doing their job properly? ME!

                            How? Why? The customer USED and INSTALLED all of the cabinets! The only thing they exchanged were the 2 pantries flanking their refrigerator for ones that were each 3″ THINNER, NOT SHORTER! The entire argument is the slanted ceilings… They’re using cabinets that are the same height! Why are we paying for moving their walls? It shows RIGHT ON THE DESIGN they are supposed to be being moved! The customer SIGNED it and I’m the one being told that next time I need to do things differently. How exactly? I have every single square inch of my butt covered in the paperwork just for this very occasion, but somehow this is still my fault?

                            The customer’s girlfriend customer cared me and when I showed everything to my manager they had my back, told the customer that everything was as it should be. Then since they didn’t like that answer they customer cared that manager. The store manager initially agreed with me, but then they customer cared the store manager. Now corporate is involved and the customer throws out the “I’m an ATTORNEY!” line and suddenly we are paying to remodel their whole kitchen!? You have got to be kidding me. I’m so mad at these people. I’ve been designing for 15 years and they stated that I was incompetent and should be fired. You have no idea infuriated I am! People are complete scum! This “Everything is everyone else’s fault and never my own!” time we are living in is just sickening. Not ONCE did that actual customer who did the design show his face here again! HE KNOWS I had ALL these conversations with him about what COULD happen when you buy your cabinets before your construction is complete. The complete lack of support I have received in sustaining my credibility as a designer just makes me want to scream. It’s so frustrating when your store can’t back you up, even when you have all your i’s dotted and t’s crossed. What is the point of all this additional paperwork if we just fold like a cheap suit and dish out money to every customer who pulls a temper tantrum like a spoiled child.

                            I dunno… I honestly don’t’ care what Lowe’s does. If they want to pay for their kitchen then let them, but my ability as a designer should not be at stake because of a customer being a complete idiot and pointing a finger at me when it is completely their own fault for being stupid. If I screwed up I would take my blame like I deserve for being a dunce or taking a risk I knew I was taking and learn from that mistake, but nobody does that anymore. Everything is Lowe’s fault because people are too stupid to get their affairs in order before making a major purchase that relies on explicit information.

                            But is doesn’t end there! Customer’s dad came in again today and screamed at me about MORE things being wrong now! At this point they have customer cared us so much it’s gone to corporate. So our store manager is to be involved in everything from this point out. Well, guess where he is? In Vegas for a week. This guy comes in with a little entourage of guys in hoodies that skulk in circles around my desk as he begins to yell at me, irate that the wall oven cabinet is wrong (which it’s not) It’s the Universal Tall Oven cabinet from the base contractor line, i.e. the cheapest cabinets we sell. The “contractor” who is also the customer’s dad swears that this is not how the cabinet is supposed to look and he got sent the wrong cabinets, the whole nine yards. He’s ranting and raving and I told him to calm down and I will show him what was ordered and how he is supposed to install the oven into the cabinet. He shows me a photo in his phone of the cabinet and I show him the spec book showcasing the EXACT SAME CABINET complete with cut dimension limits etc. He against freaks out on me saying he refuses to cut the cabinet and it should have been pre cut for the appliance before arriving. I WROTE RIGHT ON THE SIGNED DESIGN THAT IT IS CUT TO FIT AND HAVE THE MIN AND MAX CUT OUTS LISTED RIGHT ON IT! These are not custom cabinets! You have to do some of the work on contractor grade cabinets and somehow all of my contractors never have seemed to have had a problem doing it. He still continues to argue with me and finally stomps out of the store screaming to watch my back and my days are numbered.

                            5 minutes later the “attorney” daughter is calling the store. She refuses to speak to me and wants to talk to my co-designer ONLY who has nothing to do with the kitchen. The customer demands a new cabinet and she wants the confirmation of it being ordered sent to her immediately! In the mean time my poor co-designer doesn’t know fully the conversations that just took place with me and the screaming contractor so she asks me what the situation was with the customer still on the phone so she can relay it back to the customer since she won’t talk to me. The customer then yells at my co-designer to not to speak to me. She explains that she needs to speak to me to get the information she needs because she doesn’t know the answer and at this point I am reaching for the phone and saying “Just give me the phone for crying out loud!” The customer then yells at her that if she gives me the phone she is going to call the police on her. LOL! FOR WHAT!? Trying to HELP YOU!? She soon hangs up demanding a manager contact her about her replacement and that we’re both going to be getting fired and arrested. This lady is a real piece of work, I’ve dealt with nuts, but NEVER to this degree!

                            So… I printed the spec sheet for her built in oven and highlighted the cut dimensions and also sent the printed specs of the cabinets with the cut out limits (which WILL FIT, but you have to CUT the oven cabinet to fit it) I highlighted every bit of information and emailed it to her through the fax machine (because of course she has blocked my email) Are you kidding me right now? If you’re a lawyer why are you living in an attic and why don’t you hire a REAL contractor!? *screams* You didn’t buy custom cabinets, you got the cheap ass contractor grade garbage and threaten to sue for 10 times what you paid for your cabinets! Give me a break! I can’t even with these people!

                            After today’s incident I think I’m going to file a police report just to cover my butt because these people are freaking nut bags! Next thing you know my tires are gonna be slashed in the parking lot or something ridiculous. I have said this many times before but God, I HATE the public!

                            Got a busted Windstone?
                            drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
                            *OPEN for repairs*

                            *SEEKING GRAILS*
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                            Tattoo Mother Kirin
                            Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
                            Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
                            Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
                            Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
                            Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
                            Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

                            #1604049
                            Ela_Hara
                            Participant

                              Uh, I would definitely go ahead and file a police report. What ‘Customer’s Dad’ screamed at you on his way out… “He still continues to argue with me and finally stomps out of the store ‘SCREAMING TO WATCH MY BACK AND MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED’.” definitely sounds like a threat for bodily harm to you… did anyone else witness this rampage and his threat? If so I’d get an affidavit from them just in case. You may want to look into the possibility of a restraining order as well if they continue to come in Lowe’s and harass you.

                              BTW – Lowe’s as your employer also has the responsibility of providing a safe working environment for you and all its employees. I would think this means stopping anyone from using this type of threatening behavior within their stores and towards their employees. They are harassing and using verbal abuse and threatening behavior and language. If a Bouncer can throw out an unruly customer from a bar, Lowe’s should not tolerate customers doing this in their stores against their employees either.

                              If it was me and this was happening, at the height of their screaming and threats not only would I record everything, I would stop right there in front of them and call 911 and report that you are being verbally abused and threatened and fear for your life. Maybe ‘Lawyer’ chick should look into that.

                              I have TWO Lawyers in my family that have been practicing lawyers for 20+ years each. PM me if you would like me to ask them a ‘what if’ question…

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                              Kickstarter 'Rainbow Tiger' Bantam Dragon

                              *~*~*~* Ela_Hara: The DragonKeeper *~*~*~*
                              *** Come visit me on deviantArt at http://ela-hara.deviantart.com

                              #1604059
                              sherry10151982
                              Participant

                                No way!!! Humanity at one of its lowest points! I don’t understand the mentality of people who can even think they can get away with crap like that!! Surely Lowe’s won’t put up with that garbage. If he comes back in a gain you must call a manager immediately to back you up just in case because he’s threatened you before. Why the hell is a manager not there in the first place? What kind of show are they running? They better not let you go; you are an asset to that company and they better have your freaking back; take copies of everything just in case. Damn girl, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that!! I would’ve broke down and cried my eyes out, but I’m a pussy LOL!! You just remember that you’re a bad ass and you deserve to be there just like everyone else and that you did nothing wrong!

                                #1604066
                                Kim
                                Blocked

                                  Yikes. If I were you I would call the police and tell your management they should ban them from entering the store for uttering threats. An attorney would not act that unprofessionally. Nothing about the situation makes any sense. If they had money they wouldn’t be using your store to begin with. Some people are trash and just lie to try and get things for free by blaming you instead of their own ignorance and negligence. I would probably request to move stores if that happened to me or ask for security or protection from them coming in and harassing you in the store again.

                                  Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!

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