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Something similar happened to me. It’s not really helpful, but maybe it will make you smile over the whole issue 🙂
I go to McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, but I live further north in a community of only about 750 people, total. I’ve lived up here my whole life, everyone knows everyone else, and I’ve always felt it polite to say hello to people I pass on the street, etc.
I went to McMaster partly because my mother’s family lived there, and I could live with my grandma while I went to school. While my parents trusted my judgement completely, my mother’s city relatives had other ideas. They really tried to tear strips out of me for making friends! I’m at a new school, I don’t know anyone, and *gasp* I started talking to strangers! 😯
It was pathetic. They were scared of one of my friends because she had purple hair (cause you know unnatural hair colours indicate that said person is a psychopath), and they freaked out because I met my now boyfriend at a bus stop. What am I supposed to do, sneak from class to class, not make eye-contact and never speak to another soul again? I don’t think so. I’ve been talking to and befriending strangers in the city for three years now, and I’m still in one piece! As for my relatives, I just told them I’m a big girl now (21 years doesn’t exactly make me a kid anymore), and if I vanish they can say “I told you so” all they want. At least I had some kind of life!
Think about it…every friend you ever made was once a stranger. If you never spoke to them, visited them or spent any kind of time with them, they would never become your friend! You would spend your entire life alone with only your relatives…and that’s a scary thought!
Thanks for all the input. I’m so glad for the sympathy, really. 😀
Medley, Arya, that’s what I tried to say.
The plan now is this: My aunt will pick me up in Houston and we’ll spend the night in some hotel. Ski’s idea has merit, but I think midnight is a bad time to scrutinize anybody. People are crabby then, or at least I am. I’ll just ask Wolfen to meet us for a brunch the next day, and then go her place. It’s silly, and I really think it’s unnecessary, but what with me leaving on a three-day trek until Tuesday – see ya! I’ll miss you all – I really have no opportunity to argue. I suppose it doesn’t make that much of a difference whether I spend the first night in a hotel or at Wolfen’s, since I’m not paying, and that way Wolfen doesn’t have to meet me out at the airport at midnight. This just might make it easier for her.
I’ll keep you posted, and thanks for all the kidnness.Greater Basilisk wrote:I’m 19. I’m not perfect, but I think I’m old enough to make my own decisions in this regard. My parents were fine with it too until my aunt and uncle butted in and flamed them.
Tell your aunt and uncle to come talk to your parents while you are on your trip and solve all your problems on one swoop
Being murdered or physically hurt by someone you met on the internet is realy quite rare in comparison to being hurt by a person you never met before on the internet. For instance, you are much more likely to be murdered or raped or attacked by someone you have never met before in your life (a COMPLETE stranger), than by someone you met online. And most cases I have seen about people being hurt by online friends, involve young girls going to meet men who they were romantically interested in online.
I can see why your parents and relatives would be worried. If you were my daughter, I would be really cautious as well. I would want to make sure that I met the people first and check it out before I would let you go. I would just consider yourself lucky that people care about you. My mom has always told me to be careful because she can’t replace me. Sometimes being over careful can take the fun out of it, but sometimes it could cost you.
GB, I agree with Dragoness. While I know it’s very unlikely that you’ll run into any trouble on your trip and I know you’re very responsible and level-headed, don’t be too cross with your family for being concerned. I, for one, would not feel insulted if your family wanted to meet me before you stayed here. There are a lot of sick people out there and sometimes I think our country may have more than it’s fair share. It always pays to be cautious. I’m sure once your aunt meets Wolfen everything will be fine and your plans can go on unhindered. Just grin and bear it and try to see the love and concern for your safety, not questions regarding your judgement. Everything will work out fine. 😉
Well, it’s happening tonight. I suppose now that I should have taken the initiative and told them all about Wolfen, let them talk to her on the phone, and just made sure that they knew that I knew she was a reasonable person.
Still, this whole thing is probably going to mean a morning in limbo for me tomorrow. 😕
What I’m interested in is California. The only relative I have out there is a cousin, and I probably know Cat better than I know her. Besides, she’s farther away from LAX than Cat is, and considering the crowd she runs with, if she’s any good judge of character, I’m a mule.
Dad is actually real critical of the plan for California. He doesn’t think too highly of that cousin, either. I think I’ll just try to get him and Mom to talk to Cat before I go.Greater Basilisk wrote:Well, it’s happening tonight. I suppose now that I should have taken the initiative and told them all about Wolfen, let them talk to her on the phone, and just made sure that they knew that I knew she was a reasonable person.
Still, this whole thing is probably going to mean a morning in limbo for me tomorrow. 😕
What I’m interested in is California. The only relative I have out there is a cousin, and I probably know Cat better than I know her. Besides, she’s farther away from LAX than Cat is, and considering the crowd she runs with, if she’s any good judge of character, I’m a mule.
Dad is actually real critical of the plan for California. He doesn’t think too highly of that cousin, either. I think I’ll just try to get him and Mom to talk to Cat before I go.Well I hope it works it self out and that you have fun. I am pretty sure that you will have a blast in Cali. I think having your parents talk to them would be a good idea, so they feel better. My mom also told me that it is better to be safe than sorry. Sometimes my mom would be over-protective, and after I had grown up a little more and look back on it…I was glad she did the stuff she did. But when I was in my teens, I did think it was annoying.
I am 21, so not too much older then you, but I have had simaler experiences with interefering family members.
My best advice is: your parents are your best friend. CALL them a lot and really talk to them about what is going on and how you feel and make a firm back up plan with them and them alone. This is for in case the stress gets too much when being around your relatives.
make sure that you understand eachother and talk wit them about how to respond..
that way if you are getting railed on and you make a comment, aunt so-and-so won’t be able to complain to your mom and have her emotionally worried, it also lets mom be able to stand up for you better since she knows more about how you are feeling and what is going on.I would not expect things to be bad, but I would be prepared for it just in case.
Be as polite as possible, and give them the respect they deserve as family, but don’t let them stress you out with ranting about stressfull things.
For instance, if you are talking with your aunt so-and-so and out of the blue she starts complaining about your immediate family or your plans, you have a right to calmly but firmly tell her that it is none of her business and that you do not wish to listen to any complaining period.
This is where you want to have talked to both of your parents ahead of time because she will aether respect you and be quiet, or immediately call your mom up.It will really help cut a lot of stress since you will feel very secure knowing that mom knows just what you are going through. Because of your age and it being family, I would never confront them with out having talked to mom and dad first because it makes it a LOT easier when they have your back and it shows other family that you and your parents trust one another. I hope all goes well, and have fun!
I agree having your parents talk to Cat would be a great idea and will probably eliminate the need for your cousin to get involved. I hope everything goes well for you. 🙂
Greater Basilisk wrote:I’m 19. I’m not perfect, but I think I’m old enough to make my own decisions in this regard. My parents were fine with it too until my aunt and uncle butted in and flamed them.
Well, let’s see… You’re into dragons, basilisks and flaming griffins, you spend a whole lot of time conversing and ranting with others in the Windstone cult, you like to play with guns, your politics sound like they border on dangerous and your off to California to stay with people you’ve never met, which worries your parents. And if they ever find out what the rest of us are like they will surely lock you in your room, sever your computer cable and have your passport revoked!
And you are coming up to see us when you are here. Yes?
John wrote:Greater Basilisk wrote:I’m 19. I’m not perfect, but I think I’m old enough to make my own decisions in this regard. My parents were fine with it too until my aunt and uncle butted in and flamed them.
Well, let’s see… You’re into dragons, basilisks and flaming griffins, you spend a whole lot of time conversing and ranting with others in the Windstone cult, you like to play with guns, your politics sound like they border on dangerous and your off to California to stay with people you’ve never met, which worries your parents. And if they ever find out what the rest of us are like they will surely lock you in your room, sever your computer cable and have your passport revoked!
And you are coming up to see us when you are here. Yes?
HAHA, that sums it up so well 😆 and I’m sure you couldn’t keep her away with a whole herd of Dragons breathing fire!
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