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I just talked to Mom on the phone, and she’s suddenly changed my plans.
Wolfen was going to pick me up at the Houston airport when I arrived on the 18th. My flight comes in at midnight. I was going to be staying with Wolfen for about a week, and shipping out my Windstones while I was there. We’re going to see Cheryl over the weekend, and that’s that.
Well, that’s not that. Right now I’m staying with my aunt and uncle – two people I’ve learned to dislike intensely, mostly because they constantly bicker. And because they’re interfering.
One or both of them flamed Mom and Dad for letting me just go see people my parents don’t know. They brought out all the horror stories of peole just disappearing, so now Mom is going to have another aunt meet me in Houston, and we’ll book a hotel for the first night, and make sure that Wolfen is an appropriate kind of person. And she’ll want the same kind of thing with Cat in California.
I’m just furious. Not at Mom and Dad, but at my relatives, who think my parents are doing poorly in handling my independance, and who think I’m not discerning. And at myself, because I let it slip that I’ve never met my Windstone friends in person. So? I know the horror stories, and I know not to trust the internet. But I’ve talked to Wolfen and Cat in person on the phone. I’ve entrusted Wolfen with a thousand dollars’ worth of Windstones, and Cat has bought from me. There’s always a first time meeting friends, whether at school or in a new town. I don’t know what the big deal should be. And Houston may be a crime-ridden town, but it hardly matters whether my aunt or my friend picks me up there.
I have four more days here. Three are all right. I’ll be on a backpacking tour with my cousins, who are perfectly all right. But tomorrow I just want to stay out of everybody’s way.
And now my aunt just came in and asked if I’d called Mom, and whether everything was all right. What was I supposed to say? I said it was, sort of, in a way that clearly said it wasn’t.
Gah, I can’t stand interference under the cloak of caring. But maybe I’m jaded right now. I’m just mad at their insult to my parents and me. This isn’t the first attack, either. They’ve criticized Mom, especially, for her method of educating her kids, for not insisting that I go college, right up to religious issues. And now instead of telling me what they think, they move around the back and criticize Mom for my plans. I think it’s low.
Any reasonable, unemotional views on the subject?to be honest..just ignore them..or you can tell them what i told my evil mother..that is my life, im an adult..so back the f** off..i dont deal well with people trying to run my life..no one should have to deal with it if they are capable of takign care of themselves
Again, I’m not mad at Mom, I’m mad at my relatives. And I can’t exactly say get lost, because my aunt is going to be there in Houston to meet me. I’m just so pissed at my hosts right now.
How old are you? In most places in the United Stated when you are 18 you are legally considered an adult. Which means you can make your own decisions and run your own life. I hate interfering relatives.
I’m 19. I’m not perfect, but I think I’m old enough to make my own decisions in this regard. My parents were fine with it too until my aunt and uncle butted in and flamed them.
At 19, I think you are more than qualified to make your own choices, for better or worse.
Also, from what I can tell from comments you’ve made in the past, you have a good head on your shoulders. I’m not worried about your decision making capabilities.
Have a good time, endure the well meaning but annoying interference and in future forget to mention it if you haven’t met someone in person next time.
Kyrin
You betcha. I’ve sort of recovered by now. It’s just a nuiscance for my aunt in Texas and an insult to Wolfen. I’ll be glad to get away from my relatives here.
Thanks for listening, y’all.I agree with Kirin. You’re an adult, you don’t have to put up with any of this bs.
Plus if it’s really a nuisance for your aunt in Houston, talk to her and explain the situation. You may be able to arrange things with her and she may decide to trust you and not have to meet with Wolfen.
Now you know for next time: avoid these relatives if you can!
Don’t let this ruin your fun. I hate it when people can’t accept that others may live a different way than theirs.
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmOh, boy… *groan* Fellow 19-year-old here, and I share your pain. (hugs) Luckily my parents treat me like the woman I am and give me free reign over everything in my life, but like you, relatives and “well-meaning” others can’t seem to mind their own business.
My best friends (all girls, and all of legal age) and I had a roadtrip planned to Florida for the first week of summer break. Absolutely everything was in order to the point of having a hotel reserved, when the mother of one of our key players suddenly decided to go balistic. Apparently because we are all young women without the company of “trustworthy young men” or an “adult” (I’m assuming that here she meant someone over the age of forty…) our car was going to break down and we would all be raped and murdered on the side of the highway, and even thinking of letting us go was the stupidest thing our parents had ever done. (I guess she forgot that she didn’t have a thing to say as we talked about and planned the trip for three months…)
So that girl listened to her mother and pansied out, and one by one so did all our other friends. Florida never happened. I’m not done being angry about that one.
I really do hope this doesn’t ruin your time with your friends! I agree, if you can trust someone with a collection that valuable and have spoken in person, there’s no reason not to meet them. As you said, you meet new people all the time, and some of them you’ve never spoken to before.
Good luck working things out!
Id confront (which I hate to do but sometimes must) said interfering relatives and politely but firmly hold my ground and not tolerate any interuptions. Ask for that respect should they interupt if you do this.
Id ask that they refrain from insulting your intelligence as well as your parents, and their parenting skills. Explain that you know youre a good person and have made it through life this far. Then institute some boundaries that you wont accept should they cross them. If they desire respect from you, you need it from them. Two way street.
While there may be more danger in the world today than their generation, young adults (well, youre on that verge, so “adult”… ps in all our conversations, I SO thought you were around my age or at least in your 30s!)- ppl have also become more aware and savvy to whats out there. Id say that what they say and do to me, is insulting and that you plan to live your life the way you see fit, which includes choosing your own friends. Youre not a fool and deserve the respect of obvious intelligence in the face of their ignorance.
Id end with saying I appreciate their concern for me but if the boundaries set forth here are violated and they cant view you as an individual, mature adult, that they will be losing contact with their neice (or which ever relative you are to them). That should they embark on one of their rants about your friends, that youll acknowledge this as an overstepping of a boundary and immediately remove yourself from the situation.
Always keep calm and level tone in your voice and what words you choose to use. If they get riled, you can politely call them on it telling them point blank, “do you not notice the difference in posture and tone in the conversation we’re having? I’d say one of us is acting like the adult and the other is not… please excuse me.”
Easier said than done but it works- well for me and many others Ive given this advice to; but only if you hold fast to your ground. Good luck sweetie and dont let it ruin your trip! :water… duck… back:
Thank you so much, Megani and PhoenixTears. That helps. PhoenixTears, I’m in favor of your advice, very much. But I just don’t know that I can do that, considering I’m “enjoying the hospitality” of these interfering people for another four days.
It’s not a real nuiscance for me, just an irritation. A few phone conversations last night and this morning brought more light to the subject.
Dad sounds like he thinks along my lines, that I’m ready to take risks and do things on my own. But Mom is all concerned about her only daughter.
The other thing is that the people I’m staying with now aren’t the only interferers. My aunt who’ll pick me up in Houston, stay with me in a hotel the first night and rent a car to drive out to Wolfen’s place and make sure it’s all right, is also one of the “concerned relatives.” I called her yesterday to let her know when I’d be coming in, and my word, did she ever rail on me! I was being naïve and foolish to even think of meeting someone I only knew from the internet in a strange town, the media brought daily reports of women who went missing or were abused, that I didn’t know anything about Wolfen… And everything I’d heard before.
I did manage to silence half her tirade by giving her Wolfen’s address and full name. What did she think? That I knew nothing but a screen name for this girl?
I think I’ll just play along. As I said, my aunt is the only one being inconvenienced. I’m not paying for the hotel or the car. I just really hope that Wolfen isn’t completely offended by this hullaballoo, though I could understand perfectly if she were.Sounds like you got it under control. Honestly, I would tell your Aunt that you already have your plans set. If she wants to reassure herself, she may do so in a way that does not interfere with the plans you and Wolf have made. Maybe a compromise would be to have dinner all together at a restaurant close to the airport? I dont know what is open at midnight besides Waffle House, but maybe that is an idea? I think that if your relatives can critisize your education, then they have not spent enough time conversing with you.
Quote:While there may be more danger in the world today than their generation,
I don’t think that’s really true, you know. Studies were done on this; the percentage is still the same. We just have more media and brainwashing nowadays.
What cracks me up is that we’re now taught not to talk to strangers, blablabla, so everyone ignores each other on the streets, paranoia sets in, etc., I think especially in the bigger cities. Then (this happened recently in Toronto), the buses, tramway, subway system goes on strike without prior warning – the decision was made very early that very day. So people were stranded, couldn’t get to work. What happened? People with cars stopped and picked up people to drop them off at work. Perfect strangers!
Your relatives are too hooked up on the news. There are millions of good people out there, and most of them are strangers.
Yeah, I could go on forever about this.
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm
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