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Hi everyone,
I hate to bother you all with my troubles, but I feel like everyone here is generally quite supportive of others going through crises, so I thought I’d post.
Yesterday morning at 7:30 my grandpa passed away.
He had been going downhill for the last six years or so, but then last few months have been especially hard. He couldn’t walk anymore, and my grandma had to let him to go a nursing home. She visited him every single day, even when his dementia was so awful she could hardly stand to hear all the things he was saying that she knew he’d be ashamed to have said if he were in his right mind.
Gradually, he stopped eating and drinking, and we knew it was just a matter of time then.
My mom and I went and visited him on Friday night. We stayed with him for around 3 hours, and we told him how much he meant to us, how great of a husband, and father and grandpa he had been to us, and how blessed we felt to have him in our family. We told him we’d miss him, but we’d be alright because we could take care of one another, and we promised to take care of grandma.He hadn’t been able to talk clearly for about a week now. His voice was so quiet that even if you put your ear right up to his mouth you couldn’t hear him, and we felt so bad, because he was trying so hard, and so were we. It was heartbreaking.
By Friday he couldn’t speak at all, so my mom and I told him all these things, hoping he could understand them in spite of his dementia. His breathing was quite labored through all of this, and you could hear the congestion in his lungs when he mustered the energy to cough a few times. His eyes were open though, and we could see that he was looking at us and listening to what we were saying. We went home at 11 pm, and slept for a few hours, but at 4:30 am the nursing home called and told us that he’d probably be gone within 30 minutes. We jumped into the car and rushed over to pick up my grandma (since she’s afraid to drive in the dark), and headed over to the nursing home.
We arrived and ran to his room, afraid he had already passed while we were driving. He was still there though, breathing harder than ever.
We all hugged him and told him we loved him, and we sang a few church songs and said the Lord’s Prayer for him. We also tried to just talk to him and make sure he knew everything was alright, and that it was ok if he needed to go. The people working there brought us a lot of water during the 2 1/2 hours that we had been there so far, and eventually we all had to use the restroom. We took turns (I stayed while my grandma and mom went), then they stayed with him while I went. We were only gone about 3 minutes, but when we came back into the room his color had totally drained. He was so pail, and just sort of yellow/green in tone. It was shocking how quickly it happened. After that it didn’t take long.
He took 2 final gasps, and then he was gone…This was my only grandfather. The other one died before I was born (and he hated kids anyway from what I’ve been told). I already miss him so much. I know everyone says this about their deceased relatives, but he really was something special. He was one of those charismatic people that everyone just loved, and he was always cheerful and making everyone laugh. He was a really sweet individual, and always valued getting along above all else. My grandma told us that in nearly 60 years of marriage (their anniversary was August 1st), he never got angry at her or yelled at her even one time. They were perfect together. Even though I’m sad and missing him, I’m the saddest for her. He’s been her whole life since she was 20 years old.
This all just seems like a horrible nightmare, but it’s really true. I’m thankful that he’s in a better place now, because life had become so hard for him that it was difficult to bear, but I still miss him so much. I hope heaven is everything he ever hoped for and more. Rest in Peace, Grandpa, I love you…
So sorry Amy. Glad you were able to be there to say goodbye, I wasn’t there when my grandfathers had to go, so being able to say all the things you wanted to say is a real blessing.
Kyrin
I’m really sorry, Amy!
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmI am so sorry for your loss. My only grandpa is also coming to the end of his life so I know the saddness and worry. I am sending you my prayers tonight. ((hugs))
Oh Amy… I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s never easy losing a loved one and it may be hard to endure for awhile. Know that we are here for you and if you have a need to talk please feel free to drop me a pm or email. Many hugs
twindragonsmum
tdm
So sorry to hear this, and you are in my thoughts. My gramma is in the hospital right now and it’s very hard.
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My art: featherdust.comThank you for all of the kind words and support. It really means a lot to me. My prayers go out to all of you currently going through tough times, and also that those of you who are currently experiencing good times will continue to do so.
Update: my family has arranged all the dates with the funeral home, and they scheduled the viewing to be on Wednesday, my 21st birthday…
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