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I normally don’t post on here but my car has been out of commission for months waiting for repairs which I haven’t had enough money to get done. So we have been using my mom’s little old ’88 Nissan truck to get around which has been having problems especially with getting a couple flat tires in a row and we were driving with a little spare tire on it for the last couple months since moving as we couldn’t find another wheel and tire in the right size to replace it. So for weeks we got stuck in the snow on our street and either couldn’t get out or I would have to push the truck out each time we tried to go anywhere as we had like two feet of snow out there for a while clogging all the streets. I am surprised I was able to to make the truck move but the spare tire became bald and dangerous to drive on from all the spinning. Our neighbor across the street who coincidentally has a mobile tire service actually offered to replace our tire for free though as he was afraid we would get in an accident and found a tire to fit. So after watching us struggle for the last 3 months he actually helped us replace the tire today which was nice. But with the commotion of my ex coming back and trying to see me again and worrying about the tire we locked the keys in truck so had to call AMA which came after waiting a couple hours so we missed going out like we had planned. At least we did get the tire done and keys out though.
If that wasn’t all, our electricity went out last night because we couldn’t afford to pay the bills for a couple months because they wanted to charge us a $500 deposit after moving to set them up. So with no warning or disconnection notice all we saw in the mailbox last night was a little slip saying they had put a limiter on our electricity meter until it’s paid. So if we use more than two appliances or lights on at a time, the power just goes out and I had to search all around the house in the middle of the night to find the meter to push a button to turn it back on. Our stove won’t work now because it uses too much electricity so we can’t cook anything except in the toaster oven or microwave and we never use the microwave if we can help it. I thought they would give us more time or a notice at least about paying the bill so now I have to try and get emergency help to pay it to get the electricity restored and now they want to charge another $280 fee so we are now owing over $1000 for electricity and gas which is crazy. So with that said if anyone wants to buy any Windstones from me that I had listed for sale or trade, I may have to part with some unless I can get emergency help from social services to pay the bills until I find a job. I almost sold a grab bag poad to help pay the utilities but then someone had offered to buy a painting from me. So I thought that would go ahead but then of course they backed out and let me down so I have no money left until I sell more things online which has been my only income. When I get my traded poads in though I think one is going up for sale along with some other pieces.
Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!
I’ve been sitting here in bed awake since before 6AM (I’m not a morning person early to rise) stressing over having to be to my hated job tomorrow. I’m all twisted up stomach in knots breath wheezing. I’m this way every Saturday pretty much over this job; Monday I’m always sick I call it my Sunday hangover (no substances imbibed, think it’s just a physical reaction).I hate it it makes me want to kill myself I woke up from dreaming I walked to the nearby overpass and flung myself in front of a car below; it made me happy in the dream. I’ve had this job 6 years now but have only stayed because finding new work became impossible after the crash. I do have a driving job the other 6 days of the week- it’s a dollar an hour less, under the table (which is shameful, but the boss insists) and they’ve been broke and mostly unable to pay me since the week before Thanksgiving, but it’s still a trillion times better than the national pet chain job. I only kept it the one day a week so I’d still be officially employed to the government, and the past couple months that $50/week has been what I’ve had except for a few dribbles, but I don’t know if I can take it anymore. They say I’m worthless and stupid and I’m starting to believe them. I’ve worked in the pet trade 30 years, set up and run successful fish depts. elsewhere, but they say that doesn’t count for anything and it’s making me start to want nothing to do with my beloved fish. (they don’t even teach the people they throw over here in fish a guppy from an oscar; how is that ethical? my first petstore job I had to get an education and PROVE what I knew before they’d let me near the fish) All my husband and family say is you need to do that work- you need that money- just buckle down don’t be silly- talk to them I’m sure they’ll play nice- when I talk to them all I get more you’re a stupid piece of feces! But my husband won’t believe that, my mother says well try for disability after all you have that heart defect. That would be very shameful as well as impossible; I CAN work and WANT to work there are just no jobs here and who’d want me now anyhow old and useless? All I’m good for to them I guess is money and a bedwarmer. I just feel like the Sunday job will make me do something to prove my stupidity before too much longer, and it really doesn’t matter except in their lost income since they don’t work. Am I really so selfish and bad for wanting to quit it? To make myself look unemployed to the government? I’m just feeling so trapped and there’s no way out but OUT. No job applications I’ve dropped elsewhere have resulted in anything too many other desperate folks around here.
Uhh sorry for the stupid novel I just am feeling desperate myself and there’s no one to talk to.a) You’re not useless. You know your stuff, you have the experience.
b) It’s YOUR LIFE. If this job is so stressful, then leave it. Is it really worth the angst and the physical symptoms it’s creating? You have to do what’s right for you. If your family doesn’t get it, tough! If they want money, well they can go out there and take your place at that job.If your coworkers are verbally abusing you (that’s what you’re describing), report it. Most companies have policies about this. If it doesn’t help, then I would quit. Your health comes first, no matter what, and if you already have a preexisting heart condition, it could very well exacerbate it.
The rule is, take care of yourself!
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmFirst off I fully agree with everything stated by dragonmedley.
Secondly what they are doing to you at your job is mental abuse and it’s very insidious. It does make you feel worse day by day and its VERY wrong of THEM not you. Report them.
I underdstand not wanting to look umemployed to the government, but if I were you I would quit as the mental abuse WILL also take a toll on your physical well being… as the nightmares and tummy tied in knots is attesting.
Nothing is worth your health, that has to come first, after all you can’t take care of anything if you become to ill. And your family should darn well understand that!
Quit, take the time to heal your mental reserves, THEN if necessary start to look for another job.
As a side note… You must be an incredibally strong person to have dealt with this as long as you have. Just remember it is them not YOU that is in the wrong here.Looking for:
"COSMIC SHIFT DRAGONS and KI-RINS" and the "OCTOPUS TANUKI TEST PAINT #1"I agree wholeheartedly as well about what dragonmelody and StormDancer said regarding your health – mental and physical! The mental abuse is just that – abuse – and should be reported. It’s at the very least a form of harrasement. If you don’t have an HR Department within the company, then maybe investigate what can be done locally through Health Agencies or Law Enforcement. It is also a shame that your family are not supporting you and actually seem to be making you feel bad by thinking of leaving – they are not helping your situation at all. Do they want you to have a nervous breakdown? I don’t mean to alarm you, but the mental angnst you are going through could head you that way. You already seem to be experiencing low self esteem and probably depression – I’ve been there too.
One of my first fulltime jobs was for a Boss that also mentally put me down, made snarky comments, and talked to others behind my back – even to good customers of the business – about me. What’s worst, is that sexual induendo was also part of it… the Asshole even asked me several times if I wanted to borrow some of his porn flicks to ‘educate’ myself – ScumBag! But like you, I thought I was trapped and felt I couldn’t get another job. My self esteem started dropping lower and lower without my realizing it. I would cry at work, cry at home, cry in the car … I thought I was worthless too. And I didn’t think I could talk to my parents or siblings (they wouldn’t understand, I thought), and I really didn’t have any friends at the time, nor a boyfriend/husband to confide in.
I was seriously depressed, and most definately headed south. The only difference is, that I had parents who cared about me and saw that something was really bothering me. They knew it because my attitude had changed and I was now always sad, listless, and ambivalent about everything. Once they got me to tell them what had been going on at work, they were appalled and actually gave me the courage to quit by supporting and helping me. I’m so glad they did because I now see how bad I had gotten, and how I saved myself from getting worst. The way I was feeling, I could have easily turned to substance abuse or worst. That was definately a turning point in my life, but I couldn’t have gotten there without someone to lean on.
It doesn’t matter how old you are, you have great experience that is worth plenty. You are, however, in a very bad situation that you should change. Have courage. Good luck, and please remember that YOU Are STRONG, you are NOT useless or stupid, and YOU Have Great WORTH!
IN SEARCH OF MY NEXT GRAILS:
Black Peacock & Butternut Adult Poads
Kickstarter 'Rainbow Tiger' Bantam Dragon*~*~*~* Ela_Hara: The DragonKeeper *~*~*~*
*** Come visit me on deviantArt at http://ela-hara.deviantart.comI got hurt pretty bad at work today. Myself and a couple of coworkers were trying to (gently) wrangle a new/scared Great Dane inside from the play yard, and he ran into me at full speed, murdering my leg. Nothing is broken but the pain in my left quad area is incredible. He dealt a serious blow to it and I’m sure the muscle is bruised. I couldn’t even let any little dogs into my lap after that because for it to be touched/pressed at all hurts. I’m hobbling around like an old woman, and also, pressing in the clutch pedal when driving really sucks right now (it takes a bit more effort & stretching to press than the other pedals, for those of you who haven’t driven a stick shift).
No jogging for me this week, probably.On a lighter note, I also made myself laugh at work today when I tried to call to a pair of dogs named Sophie and Bella and I yelled out, “Sofa!”
Formerly had the Batman & Joker avatar!
Not too long ago, maybe last month…I have been officially diagnosed with Fibromyalgia…It is a bizarre condition. “At least it is for me.”
Random feelings of being burned alive, or flash frozen breaks through the constant pain I feel at all times. Some days it is a wonder I can even get out of bed. I will do anything to keep from feeling depressed over it. If I didn’t have my Art, I doubt I would be able cope as well as I do. It has been an ongoing struggle for many years now.I still have Arthritis in my joints and this compounds everything. There is no cure for Fibromyalgia. It makes it hard to do the daily things that most take for granted.
(I’m pretty sure this development is one of the reasons I have not been too active here lately.)
I still offer Irises for PYO’s, just at a limit now. I still take orders too, during the active casting season, I just accept less orders per queue. I am shifting focus from eye making to other art. I will still be a source for people, just less abundant. I am sad about that…I hate letting people down. 😥
For casting orders and info, please email me: amanda@dreamingtreestudio.com I am not reliably on here much anymore. 🙁 *sniffles*
Okies, now…I need to immerse myself in some cute Kitten videos…just to cheer myself up.
Not too long ago, maybe last month…I have been officially diagnosed with Fibromyalgia…It is a bizarre condition. “At least it is for me.”
Random feelings of being burned alive, or flash frozen breaks through the constant pain I feel at all times. Some days it is a wonder I can even get out of bed. I will do anything to keep from feeling depressed over it. If I didn’t have my Art, I doubt I would be able cope as well as I do. It has been an ongoing struggle for many years now.I still have Arthritis in my joints and this compounds everything. There is no cure for Fibromyalgia. It makes it hard to do the daily things that most take for granted.
I have been researching about adrenal glands lately as I have symptoms of adrenal fatigue and started taking a natural supplement called Adrenal-Pro which helps get them functioning better to release more hormones. What happened with me is a series of very stressful life events over the last several years that burned out my adrenals. When you are stressed your adrenals work hard to compensate by producing more cortisol which is basically the fight or flight hormone but if they get overworked sometimes they can’t keep up the production which can lead to a lot of conditions including Chronic fatique syndrome, depression, sleep problems and even Fibromyalgia. Here are some articles about it. http://www.endfatigue.com/articles/Article_the_adrenal_gland.html
http://www.womentowomen.com/adrenal-health-2/symptoms-adrenal-fatigue/
http://www.naturalnews.com/024985_cortisol_blood_fatigue.html
I would recommend trying some natural adrenal support supplements to see if that helps. Noni juice is also really good to take to help a wide variety of ailments from Fibromyalgia to cancer to overall health and wellness. It is a natural fruit from Tahiti that has strong antioxidant properties.As far as arthritis goes, have you tried taking MSM or Glucosamine and Chondroitin supplements? Those are very good for helping arthritis. MSM in particular is a natural sulfur compound that helps rebuild and repair cartilage and helps pain. I used MSM pills and MSM cream with a bad knee injury where I dislocated my knee and it helped the pained and helped the chipped knee cap heal. After a few months it was completely healed on its own. I still take MSM as it is good for overall health and rebuilding cells in general.
Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!
You’re not letting anyone down! Take it step by step, watch cute kittens and keep us updated.
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmI feel like whining a bit–over all, life is good for me–have a steady income and don’t have to worry about getting up to go to work. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Well since the beginning of this year, another year I keep hoping that things will get better, hasn’t started out so great for me. I read some of the woes posted on here and believe me, what I’m going through is nothing, but it keeps coming. I had a scary thing happen with my right eye where I thought I was losing my vision but it turned out to be a vitreous humor detachment. Doctor explained it as we age, our eyeball shrinks and it pulls away from the retina–biggest concern being it pulls to the extent that there is a tear in the retina. That didn’t happen to me, but still it was a scare. I’ve be afraid to do anything strenuous very since despite my doctor saying I could resume my usual activities which includes two martial arts classes.
Well I learn that having high blood pressure and cholesterol could add to this problem. So I went to my primary doctor and yep, I have high blood pressure along with high cholesterol and now am taking medication for them both. Then little things just keep coming up–schedule changes to my martial arts classes where it now is a little bit inconvenient for me–dealing with getting health insurance through the market place–there always seems to be one document or another that they need from me–getting my car serviced and finding something doesn’t work that worked before–now waiting for that part to come in and I have this service rep saying it is beyond his control what happened–like WTF–it worked before!!!—the expense of that service and now I have to bring in one of my dogs for dental work because some of his teeth are loose–my sister’s beloved dog died suddenly and it was found that the dog had stomach cancer–then I get sick and now I’m left with this cough that can come on suddenly–it isn’t bad but it’s like the inside of my throat itches and I cough hard to try and relieve it causing people around me to start backing away and using long sticks to push me away from them. All of this has left me feeling anxious and defeated–seems like anything I do or have done has been a complete failure. And little things keep coming up–too numerous to name–again nothing big but I feel like I’m being pecked to death by sparrows. Trying to keep my chin up and have a positive attitude is very hard for me right now. Then this is the month of the anniversary of my husband’s passing–which could add to the stuff I’m dealing with.
I guess misery loves company…I’ll join Bodine in that drink and Beckums cam pass us skittles and Kim and numerous others can join. Right now I just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head until this year is over. I’m really anxious about what else will come at me around the corner.
The power flicked on and off and fried my radio. That was the only noisey entertainment in my house, as I don’t have cable..Whine…..now I have nothing to listen and sing to when I paint…sob.. 😥
Recently married to the ever lovable BiPolarBear (little John)
www.weaselsoneasels.com | www.facebook.com/weaselsoneaselsAs seen on This is Life with Lisa Ling on CNN (2018) !
Always open for pyo commissions, repairs and fine artwork! Email me for current prices! awier(@)weaselsoneasels.comI don’t know what to do.
My husband’s boss’s mother-in-law (what a mouthful) is visiting and she brought that damn dog with her. On previous occasions when the dog has been here it had attacked both of the other neighbor’s animals (a cat and a dog) and my husband (he was wearing good thick boots so took no damage). Tonight it attacked my oldest son. He got lucky and was protected by his clothes, but he still has a bruise and a slight abrasion.
I want to raise hell about it, but I don’t want to cause problems between my husband and his boss, but that dog needs to be destroyed NOW.
Why would you have her visiting or allow the dog in the house? I would say talk to your husband about being more firm and saying you now have house rules that don’t allow the dog inside or around anyone it could bite. Otherwise you should call the aspca and give them their address about them owning a dangerous animal.
Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!
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