Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ASS OF MY JOGGING CAPRI’S ARE NOT MOSQUITO PROOF!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!????????????
Thanks Bardwing :3
I know that withdrawal is a natural thing to do but in this case I feel I actually needed the reminder. I feel so horribly guilty and ashamed but at the same time I’m angry at the person who triggered me. The trigger itself was an accident… but I’m not really prepared to type that all out. I’ve had to focus on not thinking about it since I’m still in a fragile state.
I’m trying really hard to not be obsessive over the silence… It’s not that I am clingy. I’ve found when I’m struggling with stress I start acting clingy which is not normal for me. It seems the farther away I get from monday and the more grounded I become the easier it is to wait. I think that everything will work out… It’s just hard since I’m so sensitive to adrenalin and at the moment I’m prone to easy adrenalin rushes.
My system in general is a little shot. I’m increasing my exercise since I’m eating alright now. I’ve added a supplement called SAM-e to what I take daily and I’m looking at getting some frankincense resin to burn since it’s been used to treat depression and anxiety since ancient times. I’ve also stopped drinking most caffeine and sugary drinks. I’ve done a bunch of research in the last day or so and found some good ideas for going to homeopathic way. I’m a bit closed off to pharmaceutical options after researching about the different types. I’ve been on a few before and found that it worsened my blood pressure issues along with agitation and ability to concentrate. So I think I’m going to ask a doctor about trying some type of sedative, just to have it as a emergency backup just in case I can’t bring myself out of a panic.
Thank you dragonlove :3 *hugs*
I’m doing a little better today. I struggled this mourning though my digestive system is still hurting a lot… I went and helped clean a friends house which really really helped a lot! I’m still dealing with moments where my chest tightens up and my heart raises but it’s manageable. My family is keeping a hawks I on me. Compared to the last few days I cried only twice in short bursts.
Ben still hasn’t contacted me… It’s so strange not to have him there. He was always the first person I talked to in the mourning and the last person I talked to at night. There is a huge whole in my life right now. He’s really my best friend and I have a hard time accepting that he’s not in my life right now. I keep dreaming that I got on the plain and everything is okay. At the moment I hate waking up… There where a few wedding that we where supposed to go to… I got myself a necklace and earnings made out of morpho butterfly wings and I got Ben a pair of cuff-links to match… I keep have haunting dreams filled with dead morpho butterflies that are scattered all over the ground.
Thanks everyone.
The thing that is killing me right now is I think this mess has just ended my relationship with my boyfriend… It would be mostly my fault though…On wednesday I thought he was going to say we need to take a break and in my stressed fueled everything I said it. I felt guilty and was still suffering a great amount of pain and I thought it was never going to get better.
I’m really sick over this…. we used to talk every day and now I don’t know when I’ll hear from him. I’ve sent 2 e-mails apologizing and explaining that I wasn’t in the right mind set when we talked on wednesday…. but I’m so unsure and heart broken right now….I feel so sick and angry.
Well last monday I supposed to fly out to england…but I had a massive panic attack… it was really scary I hyperventilated for 3 hours lost body heat and turned very white. I saw a doctor yesterday because since the big panic attack I have had regular small ones. My blood pressure right now is to high and I’ve been struggling to eat. I’ll have to see another doctor soon to see if there is a possible way of coping. At the moment I’m okay but I keep have moments of being very ill and my chest hurts during moments like that I usually pass out. So right now I’m really struggling to cope…
Thanks you for your support…
I’m going to start painting as soon as possible to try and get another ticket…
Since you will be sketching when you can,IF at all possible,sketch one of the so very cool old castles with a Pena dragon.If you can of course.How cool it would be though,a Windstone aloft a real castle that you sketched while actually being there,looking at it.How cool would that be?
That is a pretty cool idea! But if you you go to my DA account, you’ll see some of the genre I more commonly enjoy is for sketching.
I want a copy,if you do one of course,for framing and display in my “Dragon’s Den”,please??It will be in very good company.
If I do happen to sketch one, I won’t mind selling a print of it 🙂
😀 you guys are so awesome!! 😀 thank you for all the encouragement :3
I keep getting scared. I’ve never been gone for over 4 month in needless to say 6000 miles away.
NICE!!!
Keep at it! This guy reminds me of my first pyo’s 😀 you have a ton of potential and a great eye for detail! 😀 keep at it you’ll just get better and better 😀*hugs* I’m so sorry you going through all of this!
I really wish I could give you a real hug. Depression is a very sticky and real emotion that is extremely hard to deal with. Try and make sure to get some sun light and work on clearing your head of all thought if you can. It’s very difficult to have a clear mind and takes loads of work. But I promise it does help.
