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I am falling in love over and over with Dreamscape. Oh my goodness, I hope HOPE it becomes an LP.
Finding happiness again.
I’m sorry, I know there’s a lot of people that have it worse than me, but I just have to rant here.
2016 has been such a suckish year so far, and I was so hopeful it was going to be better. Firstly, my job. I already whined about losing it here, but upon being hired by Xerox in MARCH, they delayed the time I would actually start until MAY. Its just super annoying, as I’ve been without a job since February. Its only my mother’s income, my brother’s, and my own. I just feel so bad, letting my family down like this.
My depression has been wavering so badly its giving me backlash. Its been 3 years last October I’ve was diagnosed, and it frustrates me so much that its not gone. But what frustrates me more is I know its my fault, going off my medication more times than I care to count, wanting to be strong enough to get rid of it myself. I’ve lost 3 years of my life to this, 3 years I haven’t improved in my art or writing, which really upsets me. I’m going to be 21 in June, and I have no friends and feel like all the talent I could have claimed to have is slipping away.
And, in October 2015, my brother moved in his girlfriend. To this day, she STILL doesn’t have a job, and hasn’t been looking until this month. She’s annoying, snarky, and brought home a 4 week old kitten WITHOUT any consent when I have an 11 year old cat that is petrified of other cats. And she constantly tries to get me to babysit this kitten when she’s bored of him, guilt-tripping me by reminding me it was HER that saved the kitten (he was abused) NOT me (its my dream to save endangered animals). Now he’s been having bloody stool and I feel so helpless. Not only that, she and my brother keep taking our ONLY car everywhere they want, so I’m stuck in my room nearly 24/7. I’m sleeping 13-14 hours EVERY night and still feel constantly tired. And, due to my losing my job, my mum and I cannot move out of the house that’s falling apart into a nice apartment. (And its been a year and she still can barely eat. She’s been surviving on instant breakfasts, and I can’t help her. I cannot lose her, yet I’m so afraid I will.)
I’m trying so hard to keep the hope, to try and keep my head held high, but its so difficult. Even when good things happen, like my finally getting Photoshop, its always brought down when I realize people my age are beautifully awesome at PS and I can barely draw a line (don’t have a tablet). I just feel very lonely and lost. I’m going to keep trying. Its all I can do. Really sorry for this, you don’t have to read it. I just needed to get it out.
Finding happiness again.
I just want the adorable chicken. XD I’d love a PYO, but either or is good for me!
Finding happiness again.
I feel so dumb, but I simply cannot find the Albino mamas? (And I’m so excited for more Kirins! They’re one of my favorite families!)
Finding happiness again.
Upon looking back, I do agree with Dreamscape. The turquoise and violet – they do look like ethereal, flowing dream lands. Or tropical flowers.
Finding happiness again.
Oh my goodness, I am so torn between Cosmic Shift, Black Magic, and Dreamscape to squeak for LPs. They’re all so incredibly stunning.
Finding happiness again.
Dreading tomorrow.
We had to make the hard decision earlier this week to take our little Girlie-Girl to the Vet for the last time, and it’s tomorrow evening. 🙁
She almost made it to 16, a good long life relatively speaking. Her happy temperament and constantly wagging tail (which hasn’t for several several months) reminds me of the PYO Kitsune. I have one I’m going to paint – it’s more like her than the Flying Wolf.
So so hard to say goodbye.
Oh my goodness, I am so, so sorry. I give you lots of hugs, and I hope you’re alright. I know that’s always hard, but she’ll be alright on the Rainbow Bridge. 🙂
Finding happiness again.
