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Sorry I haven’t been around. Things have been pretty busy around here and I’ve had a lot weighing me down. I’m not really looking for help or reassurance, I just need to get this out and its easier for me to do it on here. I can write it better than I can say it, writer’s curse I guess.
It hit me all of a sudden today that I’m going back to West Liberty State College, the place where everything began and sent me down into a downward spiral of which it took me over 2 yrs to get out of. I’m starting into the classes for my major and it hit me, what if I’m terrible at this and what if I hate it? I mean I love English Lit, but I hear that the education classes can either make you or break you. I just hope that this time around my experiences at West Lib are better.
The other part, the part that’s really gotten me scared is…Ryan, my fiancee. We’ve been together for 2 and a half years now. And even though I love him, things have been getting steadily worse. I mean I’ve only seen him three times since January. The last time I saw him, I felt like we were both just good friends rather than an engaged couple. And the longer he is away the weaker the bond between me and him gets. So much that when he comes back for visits, it doesn’t become stronger at all…we just lost so much ground. The worst part is the longer we go on like this the more my feelings become stronger for someone else. I’d never cheat on Ryan, I still love him but things have changed so much that I don’t know if we can regain what we’ve lost. And the person that I’ve been having feelings for has feelings for me, he has for a long time and even though I was with Ryan he accepted it and stayed very good friends with me. Even though we both know of our feelings for eachother now we still refuse to act upon them. He respects me and Ryan to much and I will not cheat on Ryan. I’m scared of what I feel and I want to tell Ryan, at least of my fears and about how much distance I’ve felt from him but its just to hard to tell him over the phone, its not something to talk about over the phone. I need to talk to him face to face…but since he is 2000 miles away I can’t.
I’m so lost…
The Castle [Dave wrote:“]
TheRedWriter wrote:I read a lot of English Literature…
Does French literature translated into English count?
[/list]Yep, it does. Chauser was French and he’s a good part of English Lit. West Liberty has an entire class just devoted to Chauser.
Sad but true. I speek for myself on this matter and I’m sure most feel this way when I say that if I were to get published I’d be satified that something I wrote got out there and people have read it. I don’t think I could ask for much more than that. Writing is a passion of mine even if what I write may just ultimatly for just my own eyes to see.
That’s what a wooden baseball bat is for and a red sharpie marker are for.
Bat = beating away his fan girls.
Sharpie = so you can write in big red letters on his forhead “MINE!“
Well, I’m no expert in this area but it seems that you are limited in choices. I guess the only advice I can offer you is to do what you know you need to do to get by in this tough time and eventually when you get out of it you’ll be able to recover and enjoy the things you gave up in order to get by. Brighter skies are ahead you could say and the most beautiful flower blooms through adversity and such. I don’t know if any of this helps but remember that we’re here 🙂 I have no money to give and help you out with but I’m a good listener. Good luck with the move and I’ll pray for you.
dragonessjade wrote:TheRedWriter wrote:Wow, thanks for the suggestions. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to check up on this. I’ve been down in Morgantown taking care of my nephew for a week. I’ll try and catch up with all of your suggestions. There will probaby be severel typos in this so bare with me.
pegasi1978:
I have the utmost respect and support for our troops and especially army wives. My cousin is in the service and I’ve prayed for the troops and their families since the war began and I’ll continue to do so till the war is done.Unfortunatly I could not find a job this summer, its the only summer I’ve been unable to find one. The local Steel Mill over the past 4 years has laid off thousands of employees and needless to say that jobs around here and 42 miles surrounding are pretty sparce. Seeing as gas prices the way they are I can’t go more than 50 miles away for work cause I’d be spending more money on gas than I’d be making with the minimum wage jobs I’d have to find. As for school this is the first summer I’ve taken off from summer school and the regular school year in 4 years. I was starting to get burnt out from not taking a break. Oddly enough it was Ryan that suggested that I take a break. Silly me, I listen to him and he goes away 😛
I do a lot of volunteering at my church and that’s kept me more busy than I thought it would in the past few weeks. And I do write, I’m currently working on my 3rd and 4th novels right now, which I haven’t published because I’m a perfectionist and I edit like crazy before the thought of publishing even enters my mind. I keep myself more busy than I realize but the distance really doesn’t even start to bother me till about the 4th week of him being away. So as of right now I’m alright and when it does begin to drag me down I’ll take on some more things to keep me busy and talk to all of you.
safyre_dream:
Not exactly, he was a semester away from graduating and then he started doing field work. I knew what I was getting into when I even considered dating him because which was in itself a stretch because at the time I was dead set on not getting into any kind of relationship. It is a very funny story of how we met, not so much funny as cute. But I fell in love with him anyway. And I wouldn’t be able to do this if I didn’t love that oaf. (If any of you would like to know how we met just ask, I’ll gladly tell you)He has to get a lot of field work in before gradschool because the more field work he does the more it will help him find and get admitted into a good college. There are many forms of anthropology and he’s still weighing his options but whatever he chooses I’ll be behind him 100% because I would never make him choose between being with the one he loves and doing what he loves. I’d hate for him to wake up every day and hate the job he’s doing because he turned down what he loved to do. He said he would drop it all for me too and I told him no, I would never let him do that and if he did I would slap him so hard his clothes would be out of style by the time he’d wake up. I make that clear to him because if he dropped everything for me like that, eventually years down the line when he is so miserable from the job he is doing he’ll regret ever stopping persuing what he loves and eventually that would build to anamosity against me. He says I’m worth it but still, I love him and if it means sacrifices then I’m willing to makes them and go along with them. Road less traveled I guess. There are many anthropology jobs that are stationary too so he may pick one of those, but I’ve always stressed to him to do what he loves.
I’m not catering toward him either, I’m going to school too so when that starts it will keep me busy.
dragonessjade:
You learn to cope, he’s been traveling like this from a year and a half though I know I don’t have it near as bad as most people it doesn’t make it any easier. Maybe if your bf goes on tour you could go with him. If not, try learning Italian, trust me it’ll keep you busy.Barrdwing:
I’ve taken on some housekeeping hurdles but there really aren’t that many. I’ve pretty much taken everything I need to take, in my field and and out side of it. At this point I just want to go and get done with it as soon as possible. I used to have a band a few years back and we were pretty darn good if I say so myself (acustic and electric, etc.), I might just be a tad bias though 😛 I was the song writer and composer for half of the songs and J.R. (pianist) composed the other half, Lynn was on base, and Hale was our drummer. We were doing well till high school finished up and we all scattered to the wind to go to college.Thanks, I’ll be here and the days that get to me.
Tc_cat333:
Come to think of it that does sound like a lot of fun. I wonder if we have any glass blowing classes around here. There is an old glass factory in Wheeling, I should go check it out next week.I’ve taken dancing classes but they were mostly to train me for balance to aid me in my martial arts training.
skigod377:
I’ve done Karate for years, I’m currently a 3rd degree ninjitsu master, it goes up to six but after the 2nd degree its pretty much just training yourself. I have gotten into kick boxing but its kind of hard to find a good place to train. I’ve always been an active person so its easy to keep myself busy but for some reason lately I’ve just been unmotivated and tired.One of the best things of being in ninjitsu is playing lazer tag or hide and go seek. Because ninjitsu is all about stealth and being quick on your feet. I’ve taken dance classes to teach myself more balance so I could get to were I am in my ninjitsu, I’ve been in several competitions. Two years ago I was on ESPN because I made it through the preliminaries and I made it to the semi finals before a Kato master finally wipped the floor with me. Sometimes I still feel the blows he gave me. (Kato is using the other oponents strength against them and using your own weight to just toss the oponent around) It was a really good fight though. I wasn’t completely overwhelmed but it was just an honor to fight someone of his caliber. He won in the finals. I still keep in touch with him by e-mail. He’s continued into Japan to continue his training and enter competitions there.
I’m ranting, sorry >_<, when it comes to karate I get a bit carried away, its one of my passions.
Yeah, we have talked about it and he said he wouldnt want me all the time. I guess he would rather spend more money by flying me in then having me there all the time. Also, he said that it would become like work and I guess in his mind…people aren’t allowed to be with him at work so why would I be there all the time. I think it is because he is afraid of distractions or something like that.He’ll say that now but if he does go on tour if he’s anything like Ryan and most men I’ve dated, after a long day, he’s going to want to come home or where ever it is he’s staying and have you there 😛
Its been a long time since I’ve read Stephen King, after a while I just kinda stopped buying his books. I’ve lost interest in his them, the writing changed. Lately I’ve been keeping an eye open for newer writers because I’ve pretty much read all that I’ve found in the older stuff. Though the old writers are still the best by far. I’m always curious though of what literary works of art may spring about in our generation.
BiPolarBear
I know and I’ve thought about it. Ryan’s told me on many of the sites where he’s worked there were husband and wife couples but its not my passion. Its also something you can’t do without a degree. I have taken a few anthro classes and I did enjoy them, learning about other cultures and customs but still I’m in love and cheating on Ryan with 15-18 century writers and playwrites >_<
Skigod377
^_^ heh, thanks. I really didn’t mean to go into so much detail but it was a great fight and my sentiments exactly. If I’m gonna get beaten, its gotta be by someone really good and not some punk who got lucky and landed a good punch.
Boskydragon
I did change my avatar, the more I looked at my old one the more I didn’t like it. And as for not feeling up to par lately you nailed that one right on the head. I do have a thyroid problem and I have low iron as well, both things I take medication for. I was hit hard by both last year, that’s why its sometimes hard to do ninjitsu training for long periods of time because my chest tightens up and feels like there’s a baby elephant sitting on me. As for that game Go, I shall have to look into it.
He does but the Maximum Ride series is different from his other books. He jumped out of his usual genre for these and I for one commend him for it, not that his other books aren’t good, its just that these ones struck a cord with me. The characters are relatable and even the bad ones you care for. The entire series is written in first person which usually drives me crazy but he nailed in this. Trust me, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, for me I found emotions drawn out that I didn’t even know I had it was that good. So I do recommend this series.
dragonessjade wrote:I like this one and I will probably add more (great thread):
Thank you, I try, though they are few and far between.
“Pants are for winter and shorts are for…” says the mom.
“Company?” says the little boy who hates clothes.Wow, thanks for the suggestions. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to check up on this. I’ve been down in Morgantown taking care of my nephew for a week. I’ll try and catch up with all of your suggestions. There will probaby be severel typos in this so bare with me.
pegasi1978:
I have the utmost respect and support for our troops and especially army wives. My cousin is in the service and I’ve prayed for the troops and their families since the war began and I’ll continue to do so till the war is done.Unfortunatly I could not find a job this summer, its the only summer I’ve been unable to find one. The local Steel Mill over the past 4 years has laid off thousands of employees and needless to say that jobs around here and 42 miles surrounding are pretty sparce. Seeing as gas prices the way they are I can’t go more than 50 miles away for work cause I’d be spending more money on gas than I’d be making with the minimum wage jobs I’d have to find. As for school this is the first summer I’ve taken off from summer school and the regular school year in 4 years. I was starting to get burnt out from not taking a break. Oddly enough it was Ryan that suggested that I take a break. Silly me, I listen to him and he goes away 😛
I do a lot of volunteering at my church and that’s kept me more busy than I thought it would in the past few weeks. And I do write, I’m currently working on my 3rd and 4th novels right now, which I haven’t published because I’m a perfectionist and I edit like crazy before the thought of publishing even enters my mind. I keep myself more busy than I realize but the distance really doesn’t even start to bother me till about the 4th week of him being away. So as of right now I’m alright and when it does begin to drag me down I’ll take on some more things to keep me busy and talk to all of you.
safyre_dream:
Not exactly, he was a semester away from graduating and then he started doing field work. I knew what I was getting into when I even considered dating him because which was in itself a stretch because at the time I was dead set on not getting into any kind of relationship. It is a very funny story of how we met, not so much funny as cute. But I fell in love with him anyway. And I wouldn’t be able to do this if I didn’t love that oaf. (If any of you would like to know how we met just ask, I’ll gladly tell you)He has to get a lot of field work in before gradschool because the more field work he does the more it will help him find and get admitted into a good college. There are many forms of anthropology and he’s still weighing his options but whatever he chooses I’ll be behind him 100% because I would never make him choose between being with the one he loves and doing what he loves. I’d hate for him to wake up every day and hate the job he’s doing because he turned down what he loved to do. He said he would drop it all for me too and I told him no, I would never let him do that and if he did I would slap him so hard his clothes would be out of style by the time he’d wake up. I make that clear to him because if he dropped everything for me like that, eventually years down the line when he is so miserable from the job he is doing he’ll regret ever stopping persuing what he loves and eventually that would build to anamosity against me. He says I’m worth it but still, I love him and if it means sacrifices then I’m willing to makes them and go along with them. Road less traveled I guess. There are many anthropology jobs that are stationary too so he may pick one of those, but I’ve always stressed to him to do what he loves.
I’m not catering toward him either, I’m going to school too so when that starts it will keep me busy.
dragonessjade:
You learn to cope, he’s been traveling like this from a year and a half though I know I don’t have it near as bad as most people it doesn’t make it any easier. Maybe if your bf goes on tour you could go with him. If not, try learning Italian, trust me it’ll keep you busy.Barrdwing:
I’ve taken on some housekeeping hurdles but there really aren’t that many. I’ve pretty much taken everything I need to take, in my field and and out side of it. At this point I just want to go and get done with it as soon as possible. I used to have a band a few years back and we were pretty darn good if I say so myself (acustic and electric, etc.), I might just be a tad bias though 😛 I was the song writer and composer for half of the songs and J.R. (pianist) composed the other half, Lynn was on base, and Hale was our drummer. We were doing well till high school finished up and we all scattered to the wind to go to college.Thanks, I’ll be here and the days that get to me.
Tc_cat333:
Come to think of it that does sound like a lot of fun. I wonder if we have any glass blowing classes around here. There is an old glass factory in Wheeling, I should go check it out next week.I’ve taken dancing classes but they were mostly to train me for balance to aid me in my martial arts training.
skigod377:
I’ve done Karate for years, I’m currently a 3rd degree ninjitsu master, it goes up to six but after the 2nd degree its pretty much just training yourself. I have gotten into kick boxing but its kind of hard to find a good place to train. I’ve always been an active person so its easy to keep myself busy but for some reason lately I’ve just been unmotivated and tired.One of the best things of being in ninjitsu is playing lazer tag or hide and go seek. Because ninjitsu is all about stealth and being quick on your feet. I’ve taken dance classes to teach myself more balance so I could get to were I am in my ninjitsu, I’ve been in several competitions. Two years ago I was on ESPN because I made it through the preliminaries and I made it to the semi finals before a Kato master finally wipped the floor with me. Sometimes I still feel the blows he gave me. (Kato is using the other oponents strength against them and using your own weight to just toss the oponent around) It was a really good fight though. I wasn’t completely overwhelmed but it was just an honor to fight someone of his caliber. He won in the finals. I still keep in touch with him by e-mail. He’s continued into Japan to continue his training and enter competitions there.
I’m ranting, sorry >_<, when it comes to karate I get a bit carried away, its one of my passions.
I read a lot of English Literature, not because I have to since its my major but as a general hobby. I’ve found many good ones over the years and thought, why not share and see some of your favorite quotes too? I thought it would be a fun little post.
I guess I’ll start by giving one of my all time favorites.
“Beware all enterprizes that require new clothes.”
~Thoreau
I hated the Eragon movie. Ryan took me to see it for my birthday. Afterwards (being that both of us were fans of the books) we were enraged and disappointed. I figure if someone ever wanted to make a movie out of one of my books, I’d have to step in and make that contract so that I’d be in charge of the script (which I’d more than likely write myself) and casting. As for finding people to play the characters for my books I’d like to choose because its really how you sell it in your eyes and have an actual passion for the book. You have to get that to even begin to portray the character right. So with all of that I bet no movie director would ever pair up with me and that’s just fine. Some things are just ment to be read, kept perfect the way they are. Crapy movies that come from books take away from the book in general.
