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Ready to have kids?

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  • #531898

    littleironhorse wrote:

    Romeodanny wrote:

    At least two? That’s good, it’s always nice when one can beat up on the other. Um, I meant play with one another? Sorry I don’t know where that came from. Just think if you have more than the older ones can play Momma while you’re out working. πŸ˜†

    Ah! The memories… Comment most often heard from my older brother when he was playing with us (younger brother and me) : “Come on! Stop crying! It doesn’t even hurt!” πŸ˜†
    Ah yes, I’m the baby of the family. That’s what I heard alot of as well. Not exactly the same words, but, close enough.

    #531899
    SPark
    Participant

      Heh. Funny thing, I was the oldest, but my younger brother grew bigger than me pretty quickly, so he chased me around and beat up on me when we were kids. Not too bad though, we mostly all got along. (There’s five of us, though I was 20 when the youngest was born, so she’s more like a really close neice than a sister.)

      #531900
      Maria
      Participant

        That’s funny, Silver. But it doesn’t daunt me. I’m going to have kids too some day.

        #531901
        Laurie
        Participant

          My husband and I have been trying to have kids for 8 years. Maybe after reading this I can wait 8 more lol.

          #531902
          Maria
          Participant

            πŸ˜† πŸ˜† Good for you, purpledoggy.

            #531903
            Anonymous

              My youngest brother beats on the middle one all the time. He’s such a wuss. πŸ˜†

              #531904
              Maria
              Participant

                Pff. Botherly pounding is just training for life’s difficulties. At least kids have parents to draw the line – later in life they’ll have to draw their own lines.

                #531905

                Honestly guys, try not to be so disdainful about having kids- you have no idea what you are missing. My son was unexpected and about 6 years too early and I had expected to have a career before having a kid- but my life after Kyle has meant so much more to me than my entire selfish life before Kyle (I admit it I was very selfish).

                There are more points of parenthood that are so fulfilling and so wonderful and so touching and make great memories for a lifetime that sometimes you wonder how you could ever have called “love” what it is until you felt real love when you take care and love on your little one.

                So try not to knock it or say you’ll never do it if you don’t know about it. An onlooker has very little idea of what it is really like unless they have the blessing of doign it themselves.

                #531906
                Maria
                Participant

                  A big hand for Cheryl!

                  #531907
                  Skigod377
                  Participant

                    Its so true, too! You value life a whole lot more. Its so nice having someone who loves you more than anyone else in the world…

                    #531908
                    Anonymous

                      I won’t say I won’t ever have kids, I just know I am not ready, and cannot afford it. Right now we can’t even live properly since the apartment is a storage locker.

                      Not to mention that my girl is in line for back surgery, I don’t think pregnancy would bode well.

                      #531909
                      .
                      Participant

                        I’m still undecided about having kids, but there is something about little ones. My brother and his wife were visiting us from out of state and at the time his second child was still a baby. I came home from work (real stressful job) complaining about this and that, and I was still really worked up. My mom was holding the baby while she was listening to me rant on and all of a sudden the baby looked at me and started to grin the biggest grin and giggle.

                        I immediately lost my train of thought about what I had been so worked up about because it was cutest thing I had seen in a long time. (How can you be angry when a baby is smiling at you?) That’s when I thought it would be great to come to that at the end of everyday. Of course, there are a lot of stress involved with children, but it seems like the cute and loving moments you remember the most.

                        #531910

                        I suppose I mean my vehemence with a bit of tongue-in-cheek, so certainly don’t take it too seriously. However, I do know myself very well, and have absolutely no desire to have children (and for reasons having nothing to do with the hassle or difficulty, as well).

                        I like to think I know what I am ‘missing’ by perception and much soul-searching, but don’t feel that it is something at all missing in my life, personally. I feel I know plenty about love and have much to give to other people and beings around me that I consider ‘close.’

                        For example, animals and such are more like children to me. I feel the nurturing aspect towards them, whereas for human children I honestly feel almost nothing at all. I also like to donate to causes for human beings around the world (despite my meager living), including children, so I don’t know that I feel I should be considered selfish simply for not wanting children. πŸ˜•

                        I think there are just different people in life who get that feeling about offspring and get a high off of it, and those who don’t have this response at all. I think it is likewise important for people who love children to not judge those who don’t have a particular attachment to kids, and try not to insist to them that it is everything in life and that they are nothing without having tried it. I have been told time and again that I WILL change my mind, and WILL have children and like it, but to those people I say, they obviously don’t know me very well. I even had a guy tell me I had to and WOULD change my mind, because it’s my duty as a woman to have kids. I felt like telling him ‘Thanks!’ for pushing women’s rights back several decades for suggesting I can’t make decisions for my own life however I please and however suits me best.

                        I see no purpose in my having kids when I don’t really care about them that much–besides a basic protective instinct because they are more fragile and helpless than adults, and because people expect me to be doting to them (and would ostracise me if they knew I had no real feelings for them). What kind of life would that be for a child whose parents really don’t want them much?

                        I certainly am not trying to attack anyone, just trying to bring another viewpoint on the matter to the table. I think, like all things, both sides just have to accept that the other is happy with their choice and in most cases will have valid reasons for them (I feel some non-children and some pro-children people both make decisions for very wrong reasons sometimes). I completely accept other peoples’ wishes to have children, and don’t go telling them about why I think they ought not to have had them. Those reasons apply to me alone, and I apologise if my commenting on my preference makes anyone else feel they are being judged. It is certainly not my intent.

                        They are free to do as they please without judgement by me; all I ask is the same in return.

                        #531911
                        Jennifer
                        Keymaster

                          I babysat a newborn for the first year of his life and hated every moment of it. My mother is/has been a teacher for the last 25 odd years and I have helped her with a wide range of ages, from pre-K to teenage. I find myself highly irritable and upset whenever there are children around (not 100% of the time, some kids are okay), and I loathe babies.
                          Do I hate all kids? Not at all!
                          Do I have a problem with people that have kids? Nope, none at all!
                          Do I ever want my own? Not at all! πŸ˜‰

                          I honestly don’t see myself as ever being a good mother, and my husband feels the same way about children as I do. Everyone tells me that I’ll change my mind someday (as if it’s magic) but then again everyone used to tell me that I’d change my mind about being an artist someday.

                          Not to mention it would be really unfair to my children- there is something like a 98% chance that any children I would have would be born with Lyme disease.

                          So to those that have and want kids, kudos! I’m glad it has brought so much joy to your life. πŸ™‚ I respect your decisions. πŸ™‚

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                          #531912

                          I’m not against someone else having a kid. I’m realistic about myself. I don’t want kids, I’m not being selfish, I simply don’t like kids. And at this point in time, it would be impossible to have them. Sorry if it sounded like I was against kids altogether or parenting. I was just having fun with the topic. I have the deepest respect for parents. (Well, alot of parents. Some don’t warrent respect at all.)

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