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Awe Kyrin! You know I went through something similar. My bio Dad was a drinker, and my Mom finally left him when I was 5ish. He had issues and wasn’t around much. Then When I turned 7 my step dad came in my life. And every mistake you could make, he did with me. He beat me so severely that when I was 14 I ran away, because he had just stepped on my head in the gravel driveway earlier that week. I knew if I didn’t do something he was going to just hit me wrong just one time, and it would kill me. So as you can imagine the police FINALLY got involved and did something to help me after that. Then my life became pleasant after he stopped. Then he started (mentally) in on my Mom, so I moved her out here with me in 09. That same year, he was declared mentally unstable and is now a ward of the state. However, my bio Dad when I was 16 started calling me, and asking me to come see him (after I got my DL at 17)…now I am getting ready to turn 28 on the 8th..and to this day he still calls me every Sunday.
The very reason why I said yes when the judge asked me if he could call, was because of my Dad. IF my ex wants a good relationship with them, he will make the effort. And IF he shows me he can turn his life around, I will work with him and the kids to help their relationship. The ball is in his court, just like it was for my Dad.
When my ex does turn the kids on me, and yes you are right I know he will, I will be waiting. My parents did the exact same thing to me, and I will tell them what I would have wanted to hear back then…the cold hard truth. Not sugar coated, not blown out of proportion, just the truth. I will always have documentation to back me up as well, I hope it never comes to that…but if it does I’m ready.
And yes they will have something it sounds like you and I never had, a REAL Dad. One that holds you when you cry, teaches you how to hunt/fish/ride a bike/play catch/reads bedtime stories/listens/talks/relates(as his ‘dad’ was also gone at an early age but he had a wonderful step dad). He is the most amazing Dad I have ever met. He knew what his ‘father’ did, and why he left….but he also knew that his step dad, was the man he wanted to be like. My father inlaw is one amazing man, and raised an amazing son. Truth be told if it wasn’t for my father inlaw I would not be on this forum right now. He saw my pain in losing Tundra, and he read on my facebook that I had found a picture of Jennifer Miller’s ‘Jenna’ PYO husky…so he contact Jennifer and asked her about everything…and here I am. *tears of joy in my eyes right now* Both my kids and I were extremely lucky to have a family like we do now. We all have a very strong bond with eachother, and we always do our best to make sure that everyday is special, and filled with laughter.
Sorry for rambling, but I can relate a little to what you went through. I hope you have found your own fairytale as I did…Lord knows I hope I am worthy… Big Hugs Kyrin…
Yeah, I have my fairytale too, my children still have their fathers very much in their everyday life, long story but both became roommates after our relationships failed, still friends. Met a wonderful man who has been very good for both my children, loves them as his own & pays attention to them. Sadly even though my children’s bio fathers live here, one of them especially is kinda not really all that involved with them & mostly holes up in his room when he is home, but they still know where to find him if they want him & his door is always open.
My husband now is the perfect partner for me, & I now realize how flawed my past relationships have been. This is how it should be, the way it is with this man. I am very grateful he came into my life, & I am happier than I can ever remember.
So yeah, despite everything growing up, etc, life is good here. I am so happy that everything is working out for your family & I know your kids will be like me when it comes down to it. I knew that it was never my Mom’s fault my father failed me, it was always his choice. Sure she moved us away, but he could have chosen to move as well to stay close, or at least made the effort to visit, it wasn’t like he didn’t know where we were, he always did, Mom made sure.
Anyway, it will all work out, just I hate it when one parent or both do things that will ultimately only hurt the children, when their anger & hostility is really towards the other parent. Your Ex is not thinking about them at all here, which pisses me off, because their physical & emotional well being should be his priority, not getting back at you. But then we already knew he doesn’t have what it takes to be a good parent or things wouldn’t be how they are, but still you would think he would know better.
Kyrin
Good for you Riversgrace! This is a fantastic outcome for the safety of your kids and the stability of your family.
Congrats! I’m glad everything worked out! It really does show his character, not only in how he didn’t really watch his child, but that his vacation was more important that showing up to keep his kids. For shame on him! I hope he is able to learn from this and grow, so he is able to actually learn to be responsible, but that is on him. Your kids are safe and loved. *hugs*
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