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“What do you say when it’s over? Don’t know if I should say anything at all. One day we’re rolling in the clover, next thing you know we take the fall…”
I don’t know how many of you remember me.. I’ve been silently lurking for a while now. I’m still here to feel the joys and sorrows of this community, though I don’t put my voice out often.
Anyway, I have another sad tale to spin. Seems like that’s all I have ever had to share with you all since my very first post. But I think this event, though filed in the “sad column” it’s really a good opportunity for me… A open door for a new beginning.
I’m leaving my husband of two years, for good. We’re already separated, and over the past three weeks of isolation, I knew that this move would either make us or break us. It was definitely the latter.
We’ve had some rough years, only being together for 4 years, both being so young and having to deal with so much. As sad as I am at losing a good friend and lover, I know that as a person I will be happier on a whole without him. He is still trying to find himself, as am I. We both need to grow immensely before we can truly satisfy a spouse. Our marriage was a mistake, but like all mistakes I know I will be taking a lot of lessons away from it.
I was hoping to get some suggestions or tips of what “to do” next from those who’ve been through the Big D (and I don’t mean Dallas). If not, a few virtual pieces of chocolate and internet hugs would be sufficient. 🙂
I really feel for you & admire your courage for being so honest & taking that huge step . I haven’t been through what you are going through but I know that it is important to give yourself permission & time to grieve the ‘death’ of your marriage . I’m sure other Forum members will have much more helpful & practical advice but do look after yourself . Hugs from across the pond .
As someone who has gone thru it, I would say please dont make yourself feel like a failure. It does no good and everyone makes mistakes. I married my first hubby knowing we would be divorced later. Please know that it takes to to make a relationship work and to try to get past it. 🙂
*hugs and chocolate* I’m so sorry but it sounds like you are doing the best thing. Hopefully the things you learned from this relationship will help with the next one.
*hugs and some chocolate* I haven’t been through that (though my fiancee and one of my roommates have divorced parents) so I can’t be of much help but virtual chocolate and hugs will have to do!
*hugs* I have to agree with Ski….don’t let the situation make you start thinking you are failure. One door closes and another one opens (for both of you).
I’m sorry to hear that things didn’t work out, but at least you know you tried. And like you said, you will both learn from it, and with time perhaps you can remain friends.
Meanwhile, I know you are hurting and feeling down. Just remember, while the relationship may not have evolved as hoped, it is not a failure, just another learning experience in that thing we call life.
I can not offer much in the way of where do you go from here, except that you take some time to decide what you want to do and be, then take steps to make it happen. Perhaps taking some college courses, or seeing a counselor will help with this.
Anyway, hang in there, keep us posted, and I’m definately sending a bunch of virtual chocolate your way and big hugs!
Kyrin
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