Before I Sink Into

[LadyFirebird]

The endless pit of study, study, study—read, read, read I just want to share some stuff that has been on my mind. I call these tidbits “words of wisdom from a feeble mind.’ I hope you don’t mind–this is a bit lengthy.

I’ve been thinking about life and all the crazy cycles, moods, experiences and whatnots that it puts us through. I’ve categorized these into the ‘Bad, Ugly and Good.’

The Bad: We can’t escape bad things from happening to us and those we care about. It unfortunately happens. My bads for the last couple of years have been a lay-off, death of my younger brother, death of my beloved 15 and a half year old dog, dealing with my neighbor’s dog being killed, and death of a friend of mine a week ago. I don’t usually post every emotion that I feel but believe me, you wouldn’t want to hear about it. You wouldn’t want to hear about all the anxieties, fears, frustrations, insecurities and anger as they come. It would be a constant whine and I try to suck it up and deal with it. Not that I wouldn’t post something for moral support if things were getting the best of me. We all need to vent and this was been a wonderful place to do this. We all try and support each other the best we can under the circumstances. Bad stuff happens and will continue to happen–I just try to make the best of it.

The Ugly: These are nasty things that happen that we can’t control but sometimes we can distance ourselves from. The nasty time and emotion vampires that come into our lives and want nothing more than to bring us down. When I got laid-off, it wasn’t the actual lay-off that got me, it was the way it was done. There was malicious intent behind it. The uglies are the crap that other people try and put in your way–they’re negative about everything you want to achieve merely because they’re jealous or resentful because you’re not at their pathetic beck-and-call. You can distance yourself from the ugly. I try not to spend that much time with people who drag me down and try to put myself in positive situations. Don’t sweat the small stuff–it really won’t matter a year from now.

The Good: As usual, good news rarely gets mentioned. Not as sensational and downright boring. I like boring. I like not having personal drama in my life. I put ‘The Good’ last because I like to end on a positive note. These are the positive people in your life that you need to keep and cherish. I have people I talk to every now and then that are like a shot in the arm to me. I’m happy to have met them and I met them on this forum. There are some good people here. I’ve added to my friend list as well as my collection of fine gypsum characters. I like the way Melody and all those at Windstone run their business. I’ve never seen a business that bends over backwards to please their customers and to give them feel stuff to boot. Can you think of anyone who does this?

Starting Monday for the next 15 weeks, I will be going crazy with my classes. I’m taking 15 units plus my volunteering at the hospital. I’ve already seen the class outlines for two of my classes and wipes! What did I get myself into! But this will be my last semester–I need to do this. There is a little light at the end of the tunnel.

I haven’t been on here much mostly because of my classes and all the emotional things that I’ve been feeling. I need to change that and make time to be on here at least once a week. Just to say hi and give an encouraging word to someone and see what fun quests are happening. By the end of the year, I hope to be gainfully employed–I feel deep down that I will be although my old fears and insecurities tell me to not count the chickens before they hatch. I hope to have money again and commission some of these fine artists to paint something for me. Going through my stuff I found I had a number of blank pyos–keepers, griffins, a kirin, a small dragon, some phoenixes and a muse or two.

So I end with a hopeful note–that all will go well and I can accomplish what I set out to do. Wish me luck! 🙂

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