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Little bit of data info collection 🙂 If you want to share your reasons for choosing the holiday you did, by all means, have at it!
To get the ball rolling, I chose my favorite holiday which is Halloween. Always loved it, probably b/c of the dressing up as a kid and all the candy (different back then; you didnt really have to inspect anything and Halloween was actually more fun than dangerous). Decorating was always a blast too.
[Sidebar]- Dang that movie is so good! I never tire of watching it. Some great writing. We just finished watching ‘V For Vendetta.’ Even though I hate masks, this movie was so easy for me to get behind even the first time I saw it. I recommend it. [Done]
Thanks to all of you who put forth some serious thought into the situation. I think whats most important is that Jenn can see that she isnt the only person that this has happened too. When youre just hearing stories like this, it’s easy to sit back and say it happens to so many others. But when it’s happening to you, you can feel very alone. When Jenn sees that so many others that she doesnt even know can understand what she has had to endure, it helps the healing. And in any way that she sees fit to proceed, it’s all about Adaneth said… closure. I think Jenn is doing well with it being that she doesnt plan on having anything to do with Rae again.
As for Jerry, he was always honest (not boasting) with Jenn about past relationships (Ive heard some and some were actually very interesting in a good way). She said their conversations never started off with those intentions but once they got to talking, opening up just came naturally.
WSC, she still has feelings for him but, the good thing is she realizes since they live in different states now, that it isnt really feasible. She has a guy (Brian) in her life and he’s great. But still, crushes die hard. She and Jerry have remained friends. I even talk to Jerry and he says he’d like to pursue Jenn. I dont know what to say to that and will let it follow its course. He misses her a lot.
I did find out something interesting though. Jerry was always interested in Jenn and he did speak to her godmother (remember, he worked for Jenn’s godparents during the summers) about her. Shes like everyones mom and VERY easy to talk to. She knew Jenn was attracted to Jerry and he said he was interested in her. It was the godmother that said he should go for it with her, just go slowly. Each he asked Jenn out to a movie, drinks, dinner, etc., Jenn always said ‘yes’, so it wasnt like she was stand offish. When I said that I was saying her natural shyness came across like that… until she gets to know you. Once she knows you, shes very loving and relatively confident. All he had to do was take it to the next level and Jenn would likely have said yes.
Jenn didnt use her shyness as a game… it’s her natural personality. She doesnt do it to be ‘cute.’ It’s a trait of hers that she dislikes and has battled. Jerry had said that he found Jenn pleasantly different and had no problem taking it slow and waiting for her to feel more comfortable. Perhaps it was HE who was nervous about taking the next step cause Jenn was just waiting. She’d said yes to everything prior. Just cause she isnt bold enough to ask a guy out at this point doesnt mean she should be discarded. She has her own scars too. And remember fellas, WE dont like it when YOU guys hedge around either. If you want to ask us out- DO IT! We dislike waiting just as much as you do! 🙂
I agree with WSC about having close guy friends… they arent catty and I personally havent had to deal with the dang drama that females in my past have brought me.
Emerald– that stinks! Im sorry you had to deal with someone like that in your life. Ive never had someone (directly) like that in my life but Ive seen others do that to friends of mine. Like you, when they confronted the situation, the other girls were always like, ‘I dont know what youre talking about! I dont do that! It’s in your head!’ Thing was, most of them really couldnt see how at fault they were, like you were saying. Seems you got a great handle on it by moving on and even when coming back together, you learned from your situation and keep her at arms length. Thanks for sharing. Your story made an impact on Jenn cause she sat here and was like, ‘Wow! I know just what shes saying. I hate girls like that.’- meaning the girl you spoke of.
Eaglefeather– Empathy is really whats therapeutic at this time, I guess. It goes a long way for Jenn to hear that someone is just like her and that the pain she feels doesnt make her wrong or crazy. It was the first time this happened to her.
Yeah, like all of us shes been used in the past but this was something SO specific. The timing was just weird. Jerry had even gone out with other girls in the years that he knew Jenn but she never thought twice about it. What stuck in her craw was that immediately after she tells her current best friend about her feelings for a guy, her friend goes and makes a play for him and then flaunts it in her face, true or not. Whether Jerry did or didnt do anything with Rae isnt the point for her anymore (we believe Jerry’s account of what really happened that night). She just doesnt get why Rae would spend so much time on their friendship and do all she had for Jenn and then just stab her out of the blue.
Khat– nail… head… thanks for being the hammer! 😀 Yes this is a public forum so if someone has every right to come into a discussion I start with good intentions and be disrespectful, then Ive every right to respond to it. Funny how I always get spanked for that. I always say, it’s not what you say but how you say it. My sharing of the story didnt need to be insulted; if you didnt care or thought it bollux, then theres no need to respond. Even on a public forum, you dont have to respond to every topic- especially if theres nothing helpful to say and, like you said, can lean towards being mean spirited. Ah, how democracy wanes. Oh and PS- I love the Akita emoticon in your signature!
Barrdwing– I agree with you there! I think Rae is a very crafty person and once she finds your Achilles heal, she goes for it. For someone as old as Rae is, she certainly acts like shes back in HS. I remember Jenn and Rae met a friend (girl) at the same time but that girl had more in common with Jenn. So, Jenn and she started to hang out and do things and this ticked Rae off in certain ways. Like she became jealous of Jenn’s new friend. Boils down to some kind of insecurity IMO. It’s pretty much been decided on that Rae lied about the sleeping with Jerry just to get to Jenn. But again, what irks her is why Rae would do something like that to her for no reason. Hell, even if you had a reason, why not settle things like adults for pete sake?!
Misato– Like I said above, it’s not what you say but how you say it, and you got your point across with respect. If youve read what I had to say to others in this post, I think some of your questions are answered. I know you werent being ‘snarky’… I like that word 😀 Use to use it and have to remember to in the future!
Dragon87– who knows, right! 🙂 It’s pretty much believed that Rae spun a yarn just to get under Jenn’s skin but mystery doesnt sit well, yanno? We may never know why ppl do what they do, but sometimes you just have that nagging urge to want to find out. After it happens to you more than once, you begin to say- whatever- and move on. Jenn will become less trusting, more scars will settle in and she will become a bit more bullet proof as the years go on.
As for the guys, I already addressed your opinions in other comments above and I do thank you for your points of view. Sometimes there are just things that guys go through that girls will never have the hope of understanding, and vice versa. Perspectives are always enlightening though!
And to close out, the reason the original story was written at length was to try to give anyone as exact a position as possible so they may understand the overwhelming feelings someone happens to be experiencing at the time. No matter how common it may have happened around the world, how old the story, it’s always new and fresh when it hits someone for the first time. It was done in hope that some females here would do just what they did and hang tough, getting through the novella and share some personal insights and maybe some personal pain as well- all in hopes that some other girl out there they didnt even know and would never meet, might feel better knowing she isnt alone. Thanks for that.
Dragonmedley- Jenn is out of there. I suppose Jenn simply wants to know why Rae, a supposed friend and convincing one at that, would go after a guy that her friend (that being Jenn) told her she was in love with. At the very least, she learned a lesson about Rae.
And Jenn doesnt walk around all doe-y eyed. She isnt naive in life altogether. Just because she is a virgin doenst mean shes dumb. Weve all also put trust in the wrong ppl.
And GB, Jenn was only shocked because this conversation was coming from her friend. She was never concerned or moved when Jerry spoke of other women in his past (though he didnt talk about it much; not like he flaunts his past because even I know him and he isnt like that. He isnt a player. Hes had relationships not a series of one night stands). And FYI, it *did* happen very much out of the blue. Furthermore, if this is all hot air and there was nothing to discuss, why bother to read and then respond to it? zzzztt… it’s rhetorical. Even enemies can show some respect. I know you dont like me so why bother post in a topic I start? This isnt about me.
I prefer to hear from ppl who actually care about this situation. Im sure it’s easy to go off on me just to get yet another thread shut down though… should have expected it.
Anyway, thanks to those of you who truly do care and want your sincere opinions (and not jabs) taken into actual consideration.
The unwritten rule of female friendship Im referring to here is the code that you do NOT entertain, much less act on any thoughts of your fellow girlfriends male companions. If any gal pal mentions (or shows) an interest in any guy, or introduces you to her current BF or significant other, that the rule is to simply put them in the ‘brother’ category.
But thats me. Even if I couldnt put them in brother category, Id keep my feelings and certainly actions to myself instead of letting my fingers do the walking on a man in my girlfriends’ lives. I can really sympathize with my cousin because years ago I was at a club with the very guy I was nuts about (on a date) and we ran into my ‘friend’ there. She asked what I was doing there with him and I broke down and confessed how crazy I was about him. I hadnt told anyone prior, that I was falling in love. That very same night, she saw to it that she got him stinkin’ drunk and when I was in the ladies room, she managed to get him to her car and take him to her house for a one night stand. I couldnt understand that behavior in her, never forgave her (or at least, never forgot), cut her out of my life and decided not to pursue anything with the guy. He didnt even remember the night- said it was more like a hazy dream. He was incredibly apologetic, etc., and though I forgave him, I could not continue to think of a relationship with him.
My situation was not that far off from Jenn’s, so her experience hits home with me on such a note which is why perhaps Im yammering about it here- because it’s hard for me to let go of and I cant take her pain away. Im thankful it’s lessened a bit but I remember all too well how things like that hurt.
Writing a letter has always been my ‘confrontation’ of choice. Ive always written well and I have suggested it to Jenn. She doesnt write as well but I offered to help her in any way she’d want me to if she decides to write a letter. For right now though, she hasnt seen or talked to Rae and it might be best to simply sever all ties. But, if this feeling still nags at her after a time, Im sure she’ll go for the letter. Knowing what I know now, I dont think Rae would have the guts to respond.
Im sorry if this or anything even near this kind of story has happened to anyone here. But I bet we have all had this experience to some degree. Weve all known those catty girls and they are usually left back in high school but sadly, there are some that have grown into full fledged felines. Thats why I keep my manicure up… in case the claws need to come out (even if in defense of a family member or friend) 😀
Thats great that you got the White Coiled mama! Very happy for you on such a sought after elusive piece 🙂
I may not be here much, but I promise you all that I am keeping a hard copy of your wishes on my desk in my office and am keeping track of completed and NEW wishes. I check only this thread twice a day.
Welcome to the new comers!
What would you do if one of your closest friends did this to you? This is a story about my cousin, Jenn, her very close friend Rae and a very cute guy named Jerry. I have to give you some background info that has led up to this situation because Im hoping someone will give me some feedback that I havent already tried to share with Jenn in order to help her through this. Suffice it to say, she is hurting very much and doesnt know what to think. Needless to say, she will never trust Rae ever again.
Jenn graduated from college last year. For the past several summers, she and Jerry had worked for Jenn’s godparents at a local beach club. Jerry is about 5 yrs older than Jenn with a very fast lifestyle. He’s a rocker and has dated famous women. Jenn, beautiful, is still rather timid when she doesnt know you and is nervous around guys she finds attractive. Sometimes she is so nervous, that she almost comes across as standoffish. Most guys of Jerry’s age can understand that. They had great summers together and great flirting with one another though it never led to anything physical. Jenn would have liked it too (and Jerry too, no doubt), but she is inexperienced and likes to take things very slow. My guess is that if Jerry had taken the lead a bit more, he would have been able to lead Jenn properly. But perhaps he was giving her space (maybe too much). Jenn talked about him all the time. She adored him- still does, despite what happened.
So, the summer ends and the year gets under way and Jenn has her first real job. There, she met her very good friend Rae. They became friends very quickly and were inseparable it seemed. They did so much together, Jenn even stayed over Rae’s house (Rae had a house with her boyfriend who she was trying to figure out how to break up with). Jenn always had a great time. What you need to know about Jenn is that she always seems to see the good in people. If she likes you and youre good to her, she really puts you on a pedestal and will do anything for you. She gets walked on a lot and ppl abuse her good nature. Some say that is partially her fault and I can see that but from my point of view, when ppl have been consistently good to me, even fawning, I dont take advantage of them.
Anyway, Jenn and Rae became very close. Rae is a bit older than Jenn- by about 8-10 yrs or so. Jenn looked up to her and everyone but everyone seemed to absolutely adore Rae. It was like no one disliked her. Heck, I even thought she was terrific. There was no real reason to dislike her. Very helpful, gracious, polite and friendly. Rae confided in Jenn that her relationship with her boyfriend was not mutual anymore and she wanted out of it. Her bf Dan, even knew that but he wasnt ready to let Rae go.
After only knowing each other for a few months, Rae told Jenn that she would be moving from the state to another where her younger sister would be attending college and where her father had already bought them a townhouse. Jenn’s heart sank because she feared losing her friend and not being able to spend anymore time with her (it irked and hurt her enough to have moved her into this life altering decision). Apparently, it was no big deal for Rae to offer for Jenn to move with her because the townhouse was certainly big enough. This idea was fraught with possibilities for Jenn because she would finally feel like she was striking out on her own and starting to live her own life. She loves her parents but now that college was over, moving on and up was her idea. This move out of state and with someone she knew and looked up to seemed like the perfect idea. So Jenn said yes and the plan was set for several months down the line.
After a while, Jenn thought of all the ppl she would be leaving behind; those that she loved and would miss terribly. Jerry was one of them. One night, she confided in Rae about her deep feelings for Jerry. I dont remember what Rae’s advice to Jenn was but I do remember what Rae did which is why Im telling you this story.
Jenn spent so much time at Rae’s house that she often had to give out that phone number if anyone wanted to find her. This is how Jerry wound up talking to Rae in the first place. Even when Jenn came home one day and found Rae and Jerry talking on the phone, she just never gave that another thought. She was very trusting and assumed it innocent. After all, Jerry didnt know Rae and Rae knew just how crazy Jenn was for him. In fact, she’d thought that Rae was trying to move things along for the 2 of them, hoping she was assuring that if Jerry were to make a bold move towards Jenn, that it would be reciprocated.
Few weeks passed and Jenn was at Rae’s as usual and they were watching TV that night. I dont know how the conversation started but basically Rae non-chalantaly had mentioned how she had gone on a date with Jerry and they’d gotten a hotel room and slept together. I thought I was floored enough when Id first heard that, especially since Rae knew of Jenn’s feelings for Jerry. But Jenn (stunned and in shock on the floor said she just continued to stare at the TV while listening to Rae’s account; too scared to know what to do or confront her or whatever) went on to say that Rae went into details about how ‘it’ was. Things, noises, etc. More than anyone needed to know- especially a friend who was in love with the guy Rae was talking about! And the weird thing is, Rae wasnt doing this to piss Jenn off at all. It was like she was just recounting her most recent date to her friend.
After the story was said and done, Jenn said she started to feel nauseous (I would). She got up and said she was going to go home because she wasnt feeling well. Rae accepted this without question. Jenn cried for weeks though she continued to be the same kind of friend with Rae as she’d always been. However, she said that now when she did spend time with Rae, that she (Jenn) was always on pins and needles, feeling nervous or sick around her.
See, Jenn is like me. Im the type of girl that if you introduce me to your bf, fiance, husband- whatever, while I can say how attractive the man may be, Id never become interested in him because I have some mental filter that immediately puts the guy in ‘brother’ mode since he is involved with a friend of mine. And Id especially not dare entertain a thought doing anything remotely physical with a guy that a friend of mine has a crush on & for whom she’s professed love!
Jenn is like me in another way too- non-confrontational. She really needs to be pushed to the outer limits to bring up even the smallest rub. Granted, Im older than Jenn and have more life experience, recognize certain attributes in myself and have learned to stand up for myself when necessary. But Jenn’s not there yet. She still moved with Rae, out of state but said it was still very weird.
Thing was, it was like Rae wouldnt let this one night stand die- in story at least. She kept finding ways of bringing it up which for Jenn, just reopened the wound each time. To me it was obvious Rae was now doing this to get a rise out of Jenn sometimes but also for some reason, Rae really didnt like Jerry suddenly (maybe he turned her down the next time or whatever; wounded pride; dunno). By this time, Jenn had mentioned to Rae that she was hurt that Jerry and Rae even got together and it made it uncomfortable. Each time his name came up anywhere (be it in a movie etc.,) Rae would find a way to bring it around to the actual Jerry and say something negative. And despite what had transpired, Jenn still had feelings for Jerry.
This first summer came around and Jenn decided to come back home for a few months. It was a great break from Rae and an opportunity to see her family, friends and Jerry again (they worked together again for the summer). Jenn said she was on eggshells around Jerry but Jerry didnt know that Jenn knew of this date he’d had with Rae. He didnt know how much Rae had been spouting off about him either. To him, it was apparently just another date or one night stand (but mark my words, if the feeling wasnt mutual from the girl, Jerry wouldnt take advantage of her. He could have anyone he wants he is that charming, cute and sincere despite some of the stuff youre hearing here).
Jenn said that she had this confrontational conversation all worked out in her head so well, that she’d been practicing it for months before her return home for this summer. This was a technique she said she was using cause she said she stunk at confrontation and if she practiced what she would say in her conversation (even though she knew there would be no yelling or anything- dont take the word ‘confrontation’ to mean loud and bold), she’d be less likely to stutter and stumble. Among bringing up Jerry and Rae’s night together, she’d wanted to explain why she was so shy and unsure when it came to sex (and there is a good reason though it’s not necessary to explain it here; she never got to fully explain it to Jerry anyway).
At the end of the summer, Jenn did take some time aside and talked to Jerry one night. She said that when she first even mentioned that Jerry and Rae had spent a night together, that Jerry was taken aback and looked at her like he had no idea what she was talking about. She said he was truly surprised and I do believe her. Jerry has been so candid in the past about his experiences, there was no reason not to be so about this one. Jenn said Jerry said he didnt know what she was talking about and that while he and Rae had gone out to a club and dinner one night, theyd never slept together. Becoming a bit more confident for some reason she couldnt figure out, Jenn said she played devil’s advocate and asked why he thought Rae would even do that. Jerry simply said that girls can be catty- which is true.
Jenn was stumped. Since the beginning of this, Id tried appeasing her with every explanation I could think of but Jenn kept shooting them down, always coming up with a ‘yeah, but…’ statement. She said when she returned back to Rae’s that suddenly Rae wasnt the same friend she’d once known (I say that perhaps thats because she knew Jenn and Jerry would talk and Rae would be caught in a lie so her attitude change was a pre-emptive strike to save face; in other words, she would be dumping Jenn as a friend before Jenn could do it to her because after all, no one dumps the wonderful Rae 🙄 ) Jenn said Rae was like ‘Sybil’; a total personality swap. Not the once loving friend.
Rae and her sister made it so uncomfortable in every way for Jenn (including making fun of and exploiting the fact Jenn managed to stay a virgin through college, as if that were a terrible thing that Jenn should be embarrassed about. Our family has always praised Jenn’s choice) that she has moved out to her first place on her own (she loves it). She still cant figure out who is lying- Rae or Jerry. I asked her what knowing the actual truth would bring her and she says, ‘the end to my curiosity and the true revelation of who is culpable.’ Truth be told, in other unmentioned aspects about Rae, she has some serious issues in that head of hers that she needs to work out. Not talking about guy things; just saying the girl needs some therapy despite the sweet outer layers she displays. She isnt what she seems and fooled Jenn- and me (and after all these years, Im certainly more leery of ppl so since she fooled me, I consider her good. If I was emotionally invested like my cousin, Id be taken in 3 fold). I wish Jenn could drop it as easily as I can but then Im so attached to my cousin, that indirectly, I cant get around this story either. I can drop Rae no problem, but cant drop what happens to Jenn. Understand? Jenn hasnt seen or talked to Rae since and she is fine with that.
So, after this long story, my basic destination is to find out your opinions. Would you do what Rae did? In other words, if your gal-pal came to you and professed her love for a guy, would you even consider going out with him whether it was his idea or not? Does anyone else believe in the unwritten rules of female friendship? If you were Jenn, what might you say to Rae or even Jerry? Im asking you to put yourself in Jenn’s position and make this story happen to you. Heck, maybe it has happened to some of you just like this. Story isnt unique. Im just out of things to say to Jenn even if she isnt talking about it as much as she use to. Im curious to know if anyone has something to say that I havent said already (to Jenn that is).
Spitball some thoughts about this. Id love to hear anything you have to say. Psychologically speaking (which is what some of my degrees are in), I’ll find other perspectives interesting with regard to this. Thanks for hanging in there and reading.
Congratulations! Couldnt have happened to someone more deserving (which simply means Im very happy for you). What an outstanding piece of art Melody created with this one. Shes one creative lil minx!
I only have 3 females but they are extending an invite to yours to join their weekly book club 😀 They said if you can get a Black and White Spotted Male to come with, they wouldnt mind accommodating him so long as he doesnt mind being ogled. Course, a BW Spotted female is also welcome to join the Griffin book club… and we have sitters for the black and white spotted chicks too!
Hope they sell well. I know the Pea Coiled Mama will and I wish I could afford her. Really wish!
Sorry you have to sell but definitely, best of luck!
Welcome to your newest addiction for which there is no cure but a whole bunch of enablers to help you rationalize the love in your heart… and inevitable pain in the purse! Youve been tagged and are in for the long haul… congratulations! 😆
I know this is about the database- and I agree with those concerned about the loss of such extensive research and upkeep. I used it a lot as well and hope it will still be available in some form or another in the future.
But my question is- is ravnheart OK? I havent been around so I dont know if she left the forum or is sick or what have you. I liked her a lot; always a sweetie and Im hoping her absence doesnt mean she isnt well. Can anyone shed any light here?
pegasi1978 wrote:There have been 35 mint Black Bat Winged Flap Cats since Oct. 1, 2006. Highest went for $364.00; Lowest went for $21.50. Average Price: $58.29
Holy guacamole! Did a small black bat winged flapper really go for $364.00? That is incredible! I hope whomever got it, that it was worth it! Id say it might have been a piece to finish a collection with that sale price, but it’s easy to see with minimal research that those guys come up on ebay easy enough. What a killing the seller made!
LOL1955, welcome to the forum and good luck with your sales!
A little birdie contacted me to let me know about this thread. Id forgotten about birthday threads! Thank you guys for thinking of and remembering me.And thank you to all of you that have called, emailed and sent cards to wish me a happy birthday too. It’s very appreciated and Im very touched.
Youre all so sweet for caring. <3
Im pretty positive I wont be back here for good for reasons some of you know by now. Anyone that wants to keep in touch, can do so by emailing me (there should be a link below near the PM, etc… but dont PM cause like I said, Im not here).
I only come here now and then to check this particular thread. Just because I cant enjoy the board I use to, doesnt mean I would abandon my responsibility, one I enjoy, of keeping up with your Wish Lists.
Your lists are current and I continue to keep an eye out for your pieces. If I find something and you dont have an email link and I dont have your email in my own addy book, ONLY then will I go to PM to alert you.
Hope everyone is well. Bye guys… well, from else where but this thread.
ps: I wont talk about my reasons for departure here because it would ruin the thread and be off topic and since several of my threads had been shut down or spanked in previous months, I dont want this one to be another foolish casualty.
Those photos are all excellent and EXACTLY the kinds of photos I needed to see size comparison. Thank you guys so much for your time!
Blackdesertwind wrote:PhoenixTears wrote:Hey guys,
I know there are many of you out there that have both a Lap and OW. Colors do not matter at all. I just would like to see a photo of the 2 of them next to each other so I can see their size comparisons. Not 2 photos; just one photo of the 2 in the same shot.Thank you!
I always think you are mad when I see you post in red for some reason
😆 😉
Nah. I like to switch it up cause I get bored easily. But have been posting in red for this past holiday weekend of Memorial day in some way of being patriotic. If I were angry, youd know it cause Id simply say, “OK, Im pissed, etc” 😀
