Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
You see, this is why I ask these questions. It never occured to me that she may actually feel we are punishing her for Calvin death! Yes, she does want another cat. It’s not like she is asking every five minutes, but if you ask her, she says yes.
We don’t let her get away with her misbehavior, but sometimes it gets to the point where she will not go to her room on her own, I have to physically carry her there. Hopefully she will get it soon and start acting better.
Natalie is still acting out. She has been since Calvin’s death on 12/24. She has reverted back to a 3 year old’s behavior and I am fed up, frustrated and at a loss. I do not know what to do. Jim doesn’t want to get another cat and says that Natalie needs to learn to deal with it. My opinion is that she is 5 years old, and not a mature 5 either. I think she is acting out because a huge part of her life is missing. Now it’s been almost a month, and she is still acting this way 🙄 My MIL suggested getting Natalie a guinea pig, but I don’t think she is ready for that kind of pet yet and I have never had one, so they are out of my comfort range, not too mention the dogs would think it was a fun squeeky toy.
I told Jim to ask a few of his doctors(he is a pharma rep) and see what they say.
the kirin is beautiful! Your work space is SO clean!! How do you stay so neat? Mine looks like a paint collection sneezed!
I have sold most of mine. Some I hate to sell and some I would pay someone to take(jk). I have 1 dragon, 2 griffs, 3 muses and 1 kirin in my collection now that are mine. The dragon needs some more work, the 2 griffs I will not sell because I love them, the ki rin I’m not sure about because it may be too close to that copper/blk kirin sold on ebay a while ago…and the muses are all mine. I want a hoard of muses, enough to have thier cute little faces poking out all over the house 😀 I love ’em, what can I say? 😕
Thanks for the links! It never occured to me that she could wonder about her own place in the family or feel like we were trying to replace Calvin. Maybe next weekend or the weekend after for a new kittie, we will see how she does. I think she is doing ok, and if I didn’t know her I would think she didn’t understand. But I think she does, and I think she is dealing with it by wanting constant attention and activities w/ someone. She usually is an independant child.
Thanks everyone for the suggestions! This is the first time losing a pet w/ kids, so I appreciate heaing from the those w/ experience.
Ski – I was wondering how justin was doing. *hugs*
Today Natalie(who just turned 5) started talking about missing Calvin. This really is the first time she has actually talked about him since he passed last Wednesday. Can a 5 year old, and an immature one at that, hide thier grief? Or should I just take her at face value?
We talked about how much she misses him and how much he loved her. She calls him her ‘big boss’, I guess she had a game she would play with him.
For the last few days she has been clingy and whiny saying that she doesn’t have anyone to play with and all I can think of is that Calvin was the one she would normally be with. It’s heartbreaking to me. Jim and I breifly talked about it tonight and we may just go ahead and get a kitten. I know he is againt it, but what do you do when your teary 5 year old says she misses her best freind 😥
Tonight Calvin was laid to rest behind our house, in trees where he can watch the little birds. Jim(hubby) met the vet and his wife early this evening to get the body. They were very nice to him and told him that losing Calvin ruined their xmas too.
We didn’t say any words or gather at his grave, infact, the kids and I were not home. They have been doing alright and I didn’t want to bring back any sadness. Noah is ok, tho he gets sad if we talk about it. Natalie still hasn’t said anything, but she has been terribly clingy, which I’m sure is her way of coping. She and Calvin were 2 peas in a pod and I’m sure she must be feeling the loss keenly.
Jim doesn’t want to get another cat. He says it just starts the cycle all over again. My guess is that I’ll take the kids to the humane society and see if there are any matches. I’d like to try to find a cat that clicks with Nattie to help her thru.
Thanks again to everyone. It does help to talk about it.
emerald212 wrote:asinnamon wrote:Thanks for everyone’s well wishes, we appreciate it! The vet has been fantaastic too, I think they are as upset as we are. *sigh*
I keep thinking about a new kitten, but it seems sorta disrespectful to Calvin…I dunno, maybe it’s silly to feel that way because a lively kittie would certainly help fill that void!
I felt that way when I lost Katie Boo too, but then I had a dream that she came to me and told me to get the little kitten I’d seen at the Humane Society. I went back the following Monday, and she was still there, so I got her. I’m very glad I did because she has helped soften the blow of losing Claire Marie when that happened soon after.
I ultimately think your pets want you to be happy, even after they are gone. When they are living they sit with you and purr and cuddle. They play with you. They comfort you when you are sad. But when they are gone, I think they would want you not to be alone. They would want you to be comforted (and maybe distracted) in your grief by a new love in your life. They know how much you love(d) them. And they love(d) you too. They will always be with you in spirit, in your heart, in your memories. It is not disrespecting them to be happy. If a new kitty will make you happy, you should get one. They will understand.
Oh emerald, I can’t even imagine what it must feel like for you! Thank you for your thoughts on our pets after they pass. You are right, having a little zippy kitten around would help soften the blow and bring a few smiles to our faces.
My hubby is burying Calvin’s body tomorrow, so then atleast we will have some closure and be able to start to heal. i always feel like the healing doesn’t start until the loved one is layed to rest…
Thanks for everyone’s well wishes, we appreciate it! The vet has been fantaastic too, I think they are as upset as we are. *sigh*
I keep thinking about a new kitten, but it seems sorta disrespectful to Calvin…I dunno, maybe it’s silly to feel that way because a lively kittie would certainly help fill that void!
Thanks everyone for your well wishes. We have to see today if we can even dig a grave. Still not a word from natalie, which I guess if ok. She may just not get it, which is what I hope honestly. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise happening at christmas, lots of distractions to keep the kids from dwelling on the loss. I wish I knew how long it’s going to take Jim and I to feel less crummy…
We lost our 7 year old cat. I’m very torn up. He was the BEST cat, even people who hated cats loved him! It all happened on Wednesday, yes, that would be Christmas Eve day. I brought him for a smalllump on his back foot. He has his back claws removed years ago and has had a couple problems with them. He ended up having to go under full anethesia and went into cardiac arrest and could not be brought back.
I’m devastated, not too mention this happened right at the holidays. I did NOT want to teach my kids about death at this time of year. Calvin and my daughter were like 2 peas in a pod and she doesn’t seem like she cares he is gone??! Granted, she is only 5, but I thought she’d be more upset.
We still have to figure out what to do with his body. I guess we’ll have to try to dig a hole in the frozen, snow covered ground.
I feel like there is a little hole in our family where Calvin used to be, I can’t beleive he is gone… 😥
