Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Indeed, indeed! These are fine questions.
As Santa, I realize and respect the hard work parents do, and I know I am but one person and while I do love some cookies and milk (and don’t forget a carrot or two for the reindeer if you have ’em)… I am but one jolly person and I cannot hope to eat all of the millions of cookies left for me. So, as part of my gift to parents that help me out so much at Christmas by making things festive for their little ones, I allow them to secretly binge on some of those extra cookies that I can’t eat. Many parents don’t like to stuff their faces full of cookies in front of their children so this is a special treat to scarf cookies like there’s no tomorrow.
As for others writing “From Santa”– I don’t mind at all! So many have assumed my identity over the years that when it comes to important things (like when I had to take a second mortgage out on the North Pole to fund Mrs. Clasus’ new Jacuzzi) all the banks have me fingerprinted so we use that instead of a credit score.
Ho Ho ho!Plus, I am much of a symbol as I am a person. The fact that others give in my name is a sign that giving transends the selfishness of being associated with being the giver of the gift. What a beautiful thing!
Oh my. Well this is a bit embarassing.
Back in my middle years, I realized I was putting on quite a lot of weight. I couldn’t squeeze up and scale the chimneys the way I used to back when I was young!
So I had the elves conjure me up some rocket boots. I came up with that idea in the late 40’s back when rocket technology was very hip.
The only thing is that they needed to be activated via remote button. I was always looing that button! Once I accidentally dropped it down someone’s stocking… let me tell you that was a bad year indeed.
The elves wanted to stick the button someplace concealed so it wouldn’t fall off. They sewed it in my collar. I spilt milk and cookies on it. They put it in my sleeve. I got it covered in soot.
Finally…. they just put it in my nose.
And now you know.
Those are vintage films that you’re seeing. Back in the day when kids wanted stuff like that. Yes, they did used to like the simple toys that took imagination to drive! Those were the days!
These days I can’t let many cameras into the workshop floors, because of a problem I had back in 1995 where they tried to get me shut down for child labor laws. Ho ho! Elves are short and cute, but they’re not children. Some of my best workers are over 150 years old!
Back in the day when toys were handmade we did a lot of manufacture in the workshop. These days we have to outsource a lot… even Santa can’t ignore copyright, trademark and patent laws. It’s made things much more tricky but we still get by, ho ho ho!!
It’s really quite complicated.
There are a series of mathimatical calculations that I have a sector of the elves work on each year, that takes into account growth, diet, activity, and a number of other factors to determine size. It’s not a perfect science and sometimes we get it wrong. When you get a strange pair of underwear for Christmas from Santa, please don’t be too angry- it’s not for a lack of trying! I have an entire wing of elves dedicated to underwear calculations. I bet not everyone can say that.
I never peek in underwear drawers. I’m far too old for that sort of nonsense. They call me Saint Nicholas for a reason! 😉
As for the why- well it’s simple. Everyone should wear underwear.
Socks… well, the idea is that you wear them enough to stetch them out good. Then hang them up next Christmas for me to fill with goodies for you!
Santa is still here! A lot of the topics here got pretty heavy though. I do best with fun, festive things.
drag0nfeathers wrote:PS – Santa… I woke up this morning and you brought me snow…..LOTS of snow….your a sick SICK man santa! 👿
Honestly! I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t deliver things until Christmas… you’ve gotta blame my friend Jack for that one.
Lokie wrote:Besides food and Red Bull, is there anything Santa wants for Christmas? We all get to ask for stuff, but that seems unfair to leave Santa (you) out. What do you want?
Santa wants everyone to have a good Holiday Season… be safe, don’t waste needlessly, and take time to reflect upon what you really love. Be good to both your fellow man and all living things on this planet.
Enjoy life and don’t sweat the little stuff! Ho ho ho!Ho Ho Ho!!
You are all a great bunch. Glad to be here!
Do you like my Santa-Dragon? It seemed just about right, given the surroundings here. Brimstone and Jolly… Ho ho ho!
skigod377 wrote:I always thought the dog ate it. Can you put her on your ‘naughty’ list?
She’s already there. Along with one of your other pets! Ho Ho Ho!
eaglefeather831 wrote:Haha, this made me think of another question…
Santa, do your reindeer annoy you? What creatures would you prefer to pull your sleigh? 😀The reindeer are all right kinda fellows. Caribou are underrated– they’ll pull a mean sled, have great enduance, and will stay warm in the worst of winter storms. A little headstrong but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
We looked into hippogryphs once but we found that feeding them became problematic.
Jasmine wrote:Hi Santa, would you like the standard milk and cookies?? Or something a little stronger?? Biscotti and a Latte?? Whiskey and donuts??
We of the Claus family can eat nearly anything, which is why the food you place out on Christmas eve always dissappears. Keeps a lot to keep us going all night. Some Red Bulls wouldn’t be turned down either… Ho Ho Ho!!
khat7 wrote:I want Santa’s Dragon. 😀 As long as he promises not to eat me, my family or my fur babies. The neighbors are fair game though 😈
btw is this possibly Santa Snap ?? Nah doesn’t seem like his styleMy dragon? What if Santa is the dragon? Ever wonder how I get around in the night sky so well? Ho Ho Ho!! 😉
Snapdragon I am not! If Snap was impersonating me, he’d be doing something like telling all the girls to sit on his lap. He’s very naughty! I used a black sharpie to put him on my naughty list. Ho Ho Ho!
Maplecarver wrote:Dear Santa, by any chance could I get world peace for Christmas?
That’s the funny thing about World Peace… everyone thinks I can hand out a concept. Ho Ho Ho! The very best gifts cannot be handed to you, but are those you hard work for. *rests a finger on the side of the nose, with a wink*
khat7 wrote:I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas
GB started it 😈
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oOzszFIBcE
This is another one I don’t understand. All these people asking for hippos! Do you have any idea how hard these guys are to load onto a sleigh? Not to mention mean! You’re more likely to get taken out by a hippo than any other animal if you visit Africa… took out two elves last year *mumblegrumble*…
Greater Basilisk wrote:All I want fo’ Cwithmath ith mah too fwont teeth, too fwont teeth…
Nevermind, I found ’em.Oh good, you found them! I don’t get it, every year I hear people asking for this, and yet I get complaints when they wake Christmas morn’ with a bow stuck to their face…
There just is no pleasing some folk.
