Stepping Away For A While

[Kim]

I’m so sorry to hear this too! I feel your pain in dealing with depression and how hard it can be sometimes as I’ve also suffered with it on and off for years. It was worse years ago and went away for a while but it still comes and goes sometimes. I also tend to feel bad around the holidays because I don’t have much family either. I haven’t talked to my dad in months. I maybe see him a couple times a year but he hasn’t really done anything for Christmas or gifts since I was a teenager. Even though I share a house with my mom to save on rent, we are very different and we don’t have deep conversations like I do with my friends. Since breaking up with my boyfriend just a few days ago I have also felt very alone and wondered if I still got joy out of collecting too and if I should sell more pieces rather than trade as they just didn’t seem to matter as much when I felt empty inside. I was looking forward to spending Christmas with him and his family but some things he said triggered me to push him away and then I regretted it right away. I have since tried my best to turn my mood around and try and appreciate what and who I have in my life and have reached out to my ex to try and make amends and hope I can still see him at events for the holidays. I have also realized I still appreciate my collection and the joy it’s brought me, making friends and trading with people over the years. I know it sucks sometimes to not be able to participate in a grab bag or get the pieces we are hoping for as I used to struggle with being able to afford pieces and had trouble trading for ones I liked when I could get them. I realized that sometimes I get lucky and sometimes I don’t and I just decided to keep trying and hoping things will get better. But sometimes it’s also good to take a step back and have space and reevaluate things too and see if you feel differently once the storm has passed and maybe appreciate things more then. I realized I have to do the same thing taking some space with my ex too. Anyway I hope things get better and just remember you have friends here you have some things in common with who care!

Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!

[pipsxlch]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Please do what you need to do for yourself, and know our thoughts are with you.

[drag0nfeathers]

Thank you very much for the kind responses everyone. You’re words are much appreciated. <3 Hopefully things will begin to improve after the holidays are over and done with. I hate this time of year.

Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs*

*SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

[Kujacker]

I too have depression (and severe anxiety). All my collection has been packed away for about 8 years now. Even the newest eBay piece I accidentally won went right into the closet with the rest of the boxes. They stopped giving me any joy a long time ago, but I can’t bring myself to sell them (even though that money would reeeeaally benefit me right now). I think in order to fill the void and hate of living, I try and get things I like but in the end nothing helps but hey repetitive cycle and humans are the only animals that don’t learn from their mistakes.

I never really thought about how family view fursuits. My first fursuit came about after my mom died, but I know she wouldn’t have cared. Every time I bring out one of my suits, my dad is just like “have fun”. He’s never questioned it (and he’s even bragged to people that I make these things), and I think I’ve taken that for granted… forgetting that a lot of people and family/parents really do think fursuits are weird or shun those that wear them.
(If I had the money, I could finally fur these four foam heads I’ve carved. But here they sit and have sat for months)

I think all of us at some point has thought or hoped we could work at the factory. It’s natural to want to work somewhere that makes you happy.

I’ve noticed over the years, many of the collectors that use to be big here have slowly faded and stopped collecting…

[LZ]

I used to be a collector lots of different types of things. However, almost all of it sat in boxes for about ten years. I finally decided to sell most of it, but to collectors who would appreciate them, by looking for places like this forum. I didn’t hear back from most of my buyers, but those who took the time to get back to me after receiving their item made me feel like I did the right thing, even though I was also sad to let go of my valued things. They appreciated the special items, in outstanding condition. One guy even sent me pictures of the Sega CD game he bought from me, that he bought a special easel to display on a table away from his other items.

I started out by only selling a few things, but after getting appreciation from buyers, I felt more confident to sell more. Anyone holding onto items, but feeling bad about it, can try selling just one piece, and then take time to think about how it felt.

Anyway, FYI, drag0nfeathers, I’ll be in your area the Saturday after Xmas. You are welcome to come cuddle my Corgis any time that morning and afternoon.

Looking for...

Sitting young oriental dragon koi gold and white

[drag0nfeathers]

YES! You described how I have been feeling for several years now perfectly. That’s exactly how I have been. Everything I have bought the past 2 or 3 years is still in the box and I wanted them so badly in the moment and now… I don’t even know why I had to have them, but I don’t want to sell them either. *sigh* I wonder sometimes if I define myself from my collection because it’s my only great achievement.

I cancelled going to my last 2 anime/comic conventions because I just didn’t even want to go… I wasn’t excited… I was just “Meh…” When the time came I just blew it off. Usually I am amped to make a costume and dress up and see all the artists and cosplayers because it’s my little escape from work and everything else, but I’ve lost any and all passion for just about everything. I honestly don’t even want to get out of bed most days. I do though. I have to work and I can’t bring myself to go to a doctor or a therapist. I’m not stupid and I know what the problem is… it’s just always there and doesn’t go away.

I know it’s wrong, but I have this distain for what I perceive to be “weak” people… or rather what I was taught was weakness. I don’t dislike people who need help… don’t misread that. I know everyone does from time to time, but it’s always been the norm in my family to pity people who need to turn to drugs/medications to solve their problems and deal with “life”. If you can’t be an adult and deal with grown up problems and instead become a drain on others then you are worthless is basically the gist of what I was taught. Probably harsh, but it’s an old school way of thinking and how I was raised. Even if you are weak, you don’t let anyone know. Nobody should see you cry, you don’t talk about your feelings, etc etc. I feel weird even hugging people sometimes. So yea, I guess you would call it an old fashioned way of thinking, but I was raised by my brothers mostly so, personality wise I am probably very brutish sometimes and don’t even realize it.

That being said, I understand why I’m having so much trouble because lately I have been viewing myself as a weak person for giving in to these feelings of inferiority. I’m getting older, I should have things in my life settled by now. Most people my age have gotten married, had kids, and if not have achieved at least a viable career. I’ve been hovering on that high school “which path am I going to take” mind set for 20 years and have nothing to show for it except a dead end job I hate, a massive Windstone collection and 7 fat happy cats. I just think between getting another year older and my life unchanging for another year with absolutely no change in sight is just really getting to me worse then usual as of late. That “You’re almost 40!” keeps buzzing in my head. I hate my job, I hate where I live, and my family ties are pretty pathetic. I feel bad for my boyfriend who has to deal with me being such a cold unfeeling ice box all the time but thank goodness he understands and has stuck by me for over 10 years. If it wasn’t for him I think I’d have probably 40 cats instead of 7, LOL! He tries his best to tell me I should be happy with what we have, but I still feel like a failure. We can’t even go out to eat if the idea strikes without pinching pennies out of the couch cushions and then I go to work and design these 50K – 80K kitchens for rich people thinking… where did I make a wrong turn?

It is what it is though. I’m dealing with it in my own way and even though by today’s standards it’s probably unorthodox and not as effective as a professional’s opinion I don’t think therapy or medication would do any good. I think waaaaay too much and I am the type who would shoot sarcasm back at a therapist until they told me to get out of their office and I am not a pill taker for much of anything. I have to be near death to even go to the emergency room. I think I would go crazy if I took a pill that emptied my head of all of these thoughts so maybe I just enjoy being miserable… I don’t know…

Right now all I know is I get out of work in another 2 hours and I want to go home, take a shower, go to bed and stuff my face in a snuggly kitten belly until I have to come back again… and that’s the plan every day for the next who knows how long. Somewhere in between all that I’ll eat some pasta and watch anime… but that’s about it.

Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs*

*SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

[drag0nfeathers]

… and I will never pass up an opportunity to cuddle a corgi Lisa <3

Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs*

*SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

[drag0nfeathers]

Just re-iterating here I am closing for new repairs at least until Spring.

I have two currently that I will be aiming to complete sometime by the end of January which consist of an Emperor Dragon for windstonefan and a mother dragon for keplily. The have been slow-going because of the holidays and working a lot of overtime, but that should begin to slow down now. Once these are finished I will update the post for when I re-open… if you have questions or need advice in the mean time for your own repair needs I’m still checking PMs about once a week and am happy to help in any way I can.

I just need some time to work on house projects… literally have a pallet of flooring in the middle of my living room for like two months I still haven’t put in… and hopefully get out of this depressive funk I’ve been in too.

A big thank you very much to the members who have been checking on me periodically. <3 I tried to delete my massive whine-fest post above but now it’s too late… so yea. Just ignore that. ^_^ The holidays are over for another year. HOORAY! Time to start a new year feeling fresh <3

Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs*

*SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

[Bodine]

Happy New Year…ALL year long!!
I do so hope this year brings some good changes for you.Sounds like that is exactly what you need.I know it’s hard to start over but it can also be the best thing you ever did for yourself.New year,new job,new outlook,maybe even move into a new place.Leaving things sit around undone just adds to the sadness.At H.D. you never really see a job completed.That same mentality can transfer to your home/personal behavior.I watch Jeff,HD employee,deal with the same thing.He comes home tired, irritated at how customers treat him,no appreciation at work,and he has quite a few unfinished hunnydoes here but no ambition to do them when he is home.When he was doing construction he was proud of his work.He would bring me to the sites,show the fine work they did and was very proud when a home was completed for a family.He was much happier.He is not anymore and I think the job is the main factor.I don’t know if it would help you to change work but your and his attitude sounds a lot alike.It is hard trying to stay upbeat but if you see this is hurting you then step out of the comfort zone. You need some zest and excitement in your life.Get out of your rut.Give something new a try.We all get bored,sad,just plain blah at times.The trick is you recognize this and you are the master of your reality.If you have an embalance chemically,then that’s why there is help out there,get help, privately if you are embarrassed.Noone needs to know.It is not a weakness and nothing to be embarrassed about.You aren’t alone.Good luck and let the Sun shine in.

Every act matters.No matter how small💞
(Wanted......Brimstone Lap)
Male Hearth....one day🤞Dream on.

[Author]

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