Starting a family…

[DantheDragon]

DragonMistress wrote:

My husband and I are trying to get pregnant, we’ve been married for just about 6 months, but we’ve lived together for more than 2 years. Our first was unplanned, but we unfortunatly miscarried. That was about 2 years ago. We both want children very much, and decided to wait untill after the wedding to try again. I am 26, my husband is 28, We have a lovely and large 2 bedroom apartment, and are moving to a bigger one (downstairs, same complex) in may. I dunno, I guess I always knew I wanted to be a mother. We know that there will never be a pefect time, with enough money and we are happy and stable now. We are more than ready to get pregnant and have this baby…just waiting to get pregnant now. I think that if you think about it too much, you’ll never think your ready. A good idea is to get together with friends who have little ones, I know that helped Zack alot. Good Luck!!

Sounds very similar to where my hubby and I are now, though without the miscarriage (I’m sorry for your loss 🙁 ). My husband and I are both 27 atm, and living in a nice two bedroom townhouse with a small but pretty garden. We’re planning to buy a house within the next few years and figured there was no reason to wait until that point to have kids as when they are really young they probably won’t notice we don’t have tons of room.

[Laurie]

DantheDragon wrote:

I think what really scares me is the idea of loving someone *that* much. I mean, I love my husband to death and worry about car accidents and stuff, but I know he’s an adult and can pretty much take care of himself. A child though I would love (I’m sure) more than anything I could possibly imagine at this time, and they would be entirely dependent on me for their safety. The idea of having anything happen to them scares me, and I don’t even have one to fret about yet! lol.

I know all about the fretting. I really didn’t think I would freak out too much when Alyssa was born but once I saw her for the first time and realized how fragile she was I started to worry about everything.
**Warning I share some job experience in this post that talks about dead babies so if you don’t want to read it ignore the rest of my post**
With my job I’ve seen alot of dead babies both from abuse and accidental. Right before I got pregnant we had a whole family that neglected to feed a newborn baby to the point he died of starvation. I had to sit with him until the medical examiner came to claim the body. At the time it didn’t bother me (same as all the other calls I’ve had) but now looking back it just bothers the heck out of me. I didn’t know how precious a newborn life could be until I was responsible for one. Now knowing what I know I don’t understand how anyone could do some of the things I’ve seen. I’ve also become very paranoid of SIDS. I find myself looking into the bassinet periodically through the night just to make sure Alyssa is still breathing. When we first brought her home and I was breastfeeding during the night I would do everything in my power to make myself uncomfortable so I didn’t fall asleep during the midnight feedings. I’ve seen way to many babies whose parents co-slept with them and rolled on top of them and killed them. I swore I would NEVER co-sleep with Alyssa but I ended up doing it anyway but only after I bought a snuggle nest and I only did it for nap times during the day. So yeah once you have a child its crazy how your whole outlook on life changes.

[Stephanie]

Both of mine from my first marriage wasn’t planned but wanted… and with my husband now, it wasn’t planned at the beginning of the year but it ended in a miscarriage. We’ll just see what happens from here… 🙂

[Lupin]

We discussed it before we even started dating, far less being together. But the “plan” was for in a year 2 after we decided we wanted to be together. But at the same time we were not trying, but we also were not not trying. I have some anatomical peculiarities,which my Dr. had previously informed me might make getting pregnant a little difficult, also my previous BC one of the side effects was the possibility of never being able to get pregnant, and My own thoughts were that the run in with Cervical cancer may have potentially prevented that. Also the fact that I was 26 and had never even been pregnant before also may have been a sign that I wouldn’t be able to, however now it’s looking more like the BC was just effective.(My ex actually has 2 other children with 2 other women, so he more than likely wasn’t shooting blanks)

Long and short, Khym decided that he wanted to be, when we had only been together a short time, but after the decision was made that he would move in with me, and we would be common-law until we could justify actual engagement, and then the wedding. Khym’s existence almost threatened our Moving in together and future marriage. I do not believe in “Marrying for the Baby” and from seeing it in action, neither does my family.

[Bladerunner03]

All 3 of ours were not planned. In fact the 3rd one was a major surprise. But what I have found is that despite all the fears of what could happen and the frustration of what they will do wrong and what they will break, none of it compairs to the overall joy, happiness and love that you will experience because you have children. So I am glad that despite your fears, you guys have decided to have them anyway. Get R Done!!!!!!!!!!

[boskydragon]

Both of ours were planned… we waited until I had finished my degrees & had the job I wanted. And if you have kids, then yes, you have signed on for a lifetime of worry. My daughter is 4 and I still occassionally wake up & check on her, not to mention my 15 mo. old boy. But, I would fight to the death for my kids. I do not understand how anyone could hurt or neglect a child. When Kiera was just a wee baby there was a special on orphanages in Russia where the babies never cry or smile because they’ve learned no one will respond. I cried so hard & realized I could love those babies.

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