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So my husband and I have more seriously been talking about starting a family sometime this year. We’ve been being less careful in the bedroom with the intent to start seriously trying within the next few months.
I was just curious how others decided it was time to start a family.
Even though we are busy at the moment, we both feel the urge to bring a child into our lives, even though at the same time we are hesitant because it requires such massive dedication and will reduce the attention we can give each other.
Eh…I can’t really help you there because my husband and I weren’t intending on having children at this time. In fact, he didn’t want to have any children at all, but I wanted at least one. Hehe…I got my way when we accidentally became pregnant. She is wrapped around his finger…as much as he will deny it!
I am sure that whatever choice yyou make will be the right one!! 🙂
Same here… Chinook was unplanned. Honestly, I’m really happy it happened that way, otherwise, I’m not sure we’d have gotten the guts to get pregnant knowingly!
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmI have one as well, not planned, and I love him, but if I could go back I would not do it again. And I am NEVER doing it agian, he is now 9.
Mine were both planned from the get go. And I would do it again, but since I am no 38 I think I would be pushing my luck.
Basically we planned our son when I finished college, and our daughter was planned after we moved to Idaho and I had a good job with benefits. Course the good job fired me once they knew I was pregnant, so I guess it wasn’t such a great job after all, but everything still worked out.
My husband also claimed not to want kids, but now, I don’t think he would trade either of them for anything.
Kyrin
I’m only 22, so I’m not anywhere near ready to have a family yet, but I do know about how my parents decided to start a family. They didn’t have as much money as they would have liked, but they had jobs and an old house they were fixing up, and after three years of marriage they decided that there was no sense in waiting until everything was “perfect” to have a kid, because it would never happen. They just decided to start a family and make everything work out as they went along. Looks like things went ok. I was the first, then my one sister 16 months later and my second sister 3 years after that.
…I keep getting the sense that the fact that all three of us were planned is something of an oddity these days (although Dad did want a boy somewhere in there) 😆
Edit: you can tell exams are near, I get more dyslexic every day
From growing up so alone…I always wanted a big family, and I love them dearly, they are my life’sblood. 🙂 It’s worth it.
My husband and I haven’t quite been married for a year yet (1st anniversary is coming up – June 2nd! How time flies…) Right now we’re waiting. He wants lots of kids, and right now I’m just getting used to my new life. In two years I’ve graduated college, started a new job, and gotten married. It takes some getting used to. But I think after that, our goal is to become more financially stable, and buy our first home. After that…then we’ll start thinking more seriously about it.
But then again, if it happens, it happens. 😀My husband and I are trying to get pregnant, we’ve been married for just about 6 months, but we’ve lived together for more than 2 years. Our first was unplanned, but we unfortunatly miscarried. That was about 2 years ago. We both want children very much, and decided to wait untill after the wedding to try again. I am 26, my husband is 28, We have a lovely and large 2 bedroom apartment, and are moving to a bigger one (downstairs, same complex) in may. I dunno, I guess I always knew I wanted to be a mother. We know that there will never be a pefect time, with enough money and we are happy and stable now. We are more than ready to get pregnant and have this baby…just waiting to get pregnant now. I think that if you think about it too much, you’ll never think your ready. A good idea is to get together with friends who have little ones, I know that helped Zack alot. Good Luck!!
I don’t know about hubby but I wanted to get pregnant right after we got married. We didn’t really try but we didn’t use any protection either. After 5 years of zero protection we decided to see a specialist who told us we had major issues and would have to do artificial insemination to get pregnant. Just when we where going to get treatment I switched jobs and insurance so we had to put baby making on hold. Then hubby’s health started to go downhill but he stabilized so we decided to try. It took us awhile but after 9 years of marriage (and trying) we finally did get pregnant. Then of course hubby tried to die on me (I think he was too afraid to be a dad and was trying to get out of it j/k). Now we have our beautiful daughter. At the time when we where going through the fertility treatments I didn’t think it would be worth it. I hated that we had to get help from doctors to do what everyone else seems to have no problem with doing. I found the whole thing embarrassing and just wanted to quit but now I know it was all worth it and I’m glad we stuck with it.
There is never a right or wrong time to have kids. Things come up all of the time. My husband and I were 6 mo into our marriage (we had already been together for 2 1/2 years) when we decided. We were both 20 and wanted to have our kids young so we would have the energy for them. Both were planned.
Hubby has said since we got married (almost 6 yrs ago) that he wanted to wait ’til he was 30 (no clue why); I told him that that was fine as long as we didn’t wait until I was 30 (he’s 5 yrs older). He got his wish, and then some….
But for the actual decision of “when”… for me, it was just convenient timing of events. He was going TDY for a couple months… I told him I was going to give my body a much-needed break from the crap BC does to me, and he didn’t argue (that’s a go-ahead from him) even when I told him I wasn’t getting back on it when he came home. Though a lot of good it’s done me. No more side-effects, but it’ll be 2 years in June. Bleh.
Hubby & I used birthcontrol for a year then found out we didn’t need it….. we needed help to get pregnant…. lot’s of hard work and it took almost 10 years but we wound up with our boys when we were 32… but it was worth it (though there are days where I have to grit my teeth and say “I did this on purpose; I got pregnant on purpose… 🙄 😀 “…) I think it really depends on when BOTH of you are ready. It’s a life altering event no matter how old you are, but definately worth it!
twindragonsmum 😀
tdm
Thank you for sharing all your stories with me ^_^ I really appreciate it.
I think what really scares me is the idea of loving someone *that* much. I mean, I love my husband to death and worry about car accidents and stuff, but I know he’s an adult and can pretty much take care of himself. A child though I would love (I’m sure) more than anything I could possibly imagine at this time, and they would be entirely dependent on me for their safety. The idea of having anything happen to them scares me, and I don’t even have one to fret about yet! lol.
We’re certainly going to try to have one this year though. I’m just venting my fears.
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