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lamortefille wrote:eaglefeather831 wrote:Kyrin wrote:
Look how big she’s gotten! Wow!
When does she get to get off all of the damn tubes and things??
Kyrin
I am not sure about that. I know that the one in her mouth is for food, the one in her nose is for oxygen, and I think the rest are monitors. She used to have tubes in her umbilical chord, but they aren’t in there now. That is why her belly button looks weird. She was 4 lbs as of yesterday, and so she is doing great!
The only thing I hate is that Carol makes me feel guilty for having a healthy baby, and she tells me how Chloe loves being with her more than me 👿 I empathize with what she’s going through, but I don’t think she should do that. I hope she doesn’t start telling Chloe these type of things when she gets older.
Is Carol getting any counseling to help her deal with all of this? It sounds like she could use some (I’m not trying to be mean).
I agree, counseling would help…parents who go through these kinds of things need help adjusting and accepting that their child’s condition is not their fault. As often they blame themselves, and self hatred is never good.
Kyrin
Kyrin wrote:eaglefeather831 wrote:Kyrin wrote:Look how big she’s gotten! Wow!
When does she get to get off all of the damn tubes and things??
Kyrin
I am not sure about that. I know that the one in her mouth is for food, the one in her nose is for oxygen, and I think the rest are monitors. She used to have tubes in her umbilical chord, but they aren’t in there now. That is why her belly button looks weird. She was 4 lbs as of yesterday, and so she is doing great!
The only thing I hate is that Carol makes me feel guilty for having a healthy baby, and she tells me how Chloe loves being with her more than me 👿 I empathize with what she’s going through, but I don’t think she should do that. I hope she doesn’t start telling Chloe these type of things when she gets older.
As Mallory grows and becomes healthier, I am sure Carol’s envy that Mallory wasn’t as hale and hearty in the beginning will lessen.
If she keeps saying these things, I would quietly ask her if she realizes that she is hurting your feelings by saying these things. She’s being human, she’s jealous that Chloe is so healthy and resentful that Mallory is so sick, but Mallory won’t be that way forever and with luck she won’t suffer too much brain damage from everything she’s been through.
But that is no reason for you to be feeling guilty, nor for her to be saying things to make you feel that way, and she knows it. So pull her up short…be gentle and nice about it, but she needs to stop the hurtful comments.
And there is no way Chloe prefers anyone over her Mommy…my daughter loves her daddy, but if she has to choose between him and me, she wants me. I doubt Chloe is any different.
*hugs*
Kyrin
Thank you. 🙂 I just stay quiet about it since I don’t want to make her feel worse than she already is. I do think that counseling could help carol, but I don’t know how to suggest it without sounding mean (like lamorettefille said).
I finally felt like saying something for some encouragement about these things she says to me, but I feel selfish at the same time. 😳
I agree with Kyrin… and you have no need to feel guilty or selfish. I’m sorry your sister-in-law makes you feel that way; mine did that to me only in the fact that she could have babies and I couldn’t.
tdm
twindragonsmum wrote:I agree with Kyrin… and you have no need to feel guilty or selfish. I’m sorry your sister-in-law makes you feel that way; mine did that to me only in the fact that she could have babies and I couldn’t.
Awww…but now you have twins! 😀 I do need to hear that from others-the fact that I shouldn’t feel that way.
Oh Eagle….don’t feel guilty, your Chloe is a beautiful blessing, and there’s no way she prefers carol to her own Mommy, it sounds like Carol is having a hard time coping with little Mallory being so sick, but it’s not fair of her to make you feel bad for having a healthy baby. I hope that as Mallory gets better, she’ll realize that! {{HUGS}}
I agree that she shouldn’t be making you feel guilty. 😕 I also agree that you should tell her so, next time she makes you feel guilty, by saying comments like that hurt your feelings. Maybe she’ll get mad at you, maybe she won’t, but even if she does, she’ll probably think about it and then realize that you were right.
Mallory is getting surgery today! 😯 and 😀 It’s good because she is getting a shunt put in which she really needs, but at the same time scary because I wonder how it will all turn out. I keep on telling myself that the doctors do this a gazillion times, and so they will, and Mallory will, perform flawessly. The surgery is scheduled to take place at 1:00 central time today. As of yesterday she is 4 lbs 10 oz! 😀 She’ll be home before we know it, but pray for her surgery and recovery!!
I thought she wasn’t going to need the shunt…darn it!
i hope all goes well for the surgery, and yay that she is nearly 5 lbs! What great progress!
Kyrin
eaglefeather831 wrote:twindragonsmum wrote:I agree with Kyrin… and you have no need to feel guilty or selfish. I’m sorry your sister-in-law makes you feel that way; mine did that to me only in the fact that she could have babies and I couldn’t.
Awww…but now you have twins! 😀 I do need to hear that from others-the fact that I shouldn’t feel that way.
i agree there is no reason at all to feel guilty . Its very petty of her to try and throw a guilt trip on you like that . My fathers mother tried to pull that on my mother about my Cf saying there is no Cf in her family and it was all my mothers fault . some people can be just out right vicious ..it seems worse when it comes from inlaws too
More prayers for Mallory. Also for you and your sister. She is probably just trying to make herself feel better, but it’s still wrong.
~Hugs~
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