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Different community topic, and this time it shouldn’t be very controversial… 🙂
I’ve been looking to move out of my parents’ house – not basement 😛 – for a couple months now. I found a house I really like and have asked for the papers so I can make an offer on it. I don’t have it; I don’t know if I’m getting it; I haven’t even 100% decided that buying it (or rather, going into debt to Dad for it) is the right thing to do. No one can advise me, but I would like, if you’re willing to share, hear people’s stories of finally leaving the nest.
I suppose that usual way is to go to college and get used to living without Mom and Dad that way. Still, whatever your feelings and fears and excitements were when you moved out, I’d love to hear them.
Most of you are older than me, have more experience… All I know is that when I calculated what my own place would cost me, I was surprised to see how much money mooching off parents saves one. Moving out is a big step; this is the biggest decision I’ve made so far, and I admit I’m kinda scared.I moved out to live with my first boyfriend when i was 18, stayed there for a year then moved home again 😀 , then moved out again to live with second boyfriend, we moved in with my parents for a very short time when I found out I was pregnant and decided to move back to my home town, have been out ever since, boyfriend or not.
I can’t really help you GB. I went from my parents’ roof to that of my husband. It wasn’t untill we were divorced several years later that I was actually living alone. I found it to be somewhat scary and boy did I ever have a lot to learn. That was several years ago and I find there is still a lot more for me to learn.
I met Warp10 in residence during my first year of university; we moved to his parents’ for the summer, started the second year in residence again and got an apartment that spring. We’ve been together since then, so no “alone” experience from me. When my brother bought his own house, he was going from a shared apartment of students to being on his own. The toughest part for him was the meals; he wasn’t used to eating alone!
I hope you get your own place. No matter how small or big, it’s YOURS. This is when you discover how much you really don’t like (insert whatever it is here) at your parents’ and you can use/do/arrange stuff any way you like.
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmI did the college dorm thing during most of the year, then lived at home each summer (dorm was closed and my parents lived in the same town as the school I went too). After I graduated and got a job I eventually moved into a small house with my (then future) sister-in-law. Before I did, I did lots of math to be sure I could afford living on my own. I also took out a loan to by my first car ($250/month; mom co-signed for me). At the same time I had to start paying on my school loan ($150/month). After a year of living together I decided to rent my own apartment (plus she and my brother would be getting married shortly after that). It was nice, especially since I had a weird schedule due to working for a newspaper (worked 3 p.m. to 11 p.m.).
I’ll admit I was nervous at first about moving out of my parents place, but I wanted to truly feel like an adult and the only way I could do that was my making my own way through life.
I will say this, if you have a descent relationship with your parents, there is nothing to help financialy than living at home mooching off your parents. HOWEVER….There is NOTHING like having your own place that you can keep clean or messy as you see fit, leave and come back to whenever you want, run around in nothing but your birthday suit, have the space to stretch out and not live in two small rooms, not be embarased to have people over and having them be worried about coming out of the room in the morning to see your parents in their underwear…..
While I’ve not really been out on my lonesome (I don’t think I’d ever choose to be totaly alone in my house, I like having at least a signifigant other with me for company, if I was alone I WOULD be that crazy cat lady….) but I’ve been out of my parents house for a number of years, biggest instacne being the military. Though you can’t really say you’re “alone” in the military…it’s like living in a dorm, but worse, much worse…..more fun though, the pranks were better….Anyway, I also have had my own appartment with a previous boyfriend and helped him buy a house.
There are several routes you could take, the first is purchasing your own property, which yes will put you in a crap load of debt, but it is a VERY satisfying feeling. If it’s too lonely for you, you could always rent out rooms, which is a nice way to help pay the mortgage, one of my Sergeants did that when he got out, bought a place with only his name on it for like 800,000, 2,000 sq ft. and rented out several rooms to people from our shop. The rent money payed his mortgage AND utilities and so he had all his money left for himself.
Another option is to be the renter, which actualy isn’t so bad except that you then have no equity and can be kicked out, but if you get a good relationship with your landlord, I know people that have rented a house for most of their lives and never had a problem, you can be set. Or you could rent an appartment, which while a cheaper route (sort of) has it’s hastles too. Like having those neighbors that get into a fight every night and slam doors, or constantly hearing the squaking of the bedsprings from the place above you…even if you rent in a relatively “good” area, there are still LOTS more problems than if you owned a home in the same area.
Knowing what I know of you, I’d say take the plunge and buy a house. Doesn’t have to be big, but buy your own place, preferably something that has yard on all 4 sides and that you’re willing to invest a lot of love, time and money into. And if you get lonely, and have the room, rent out some space, have a contract. Other than that, you are a VERY capable woman and while it may seem scary (mortgages are insanely intimidating) it’s really not that bad, and once all the initial paperwork is done and you get settled into a routine of the bills, you’ll be fine! Big hugs and good luck!
I moved out of my parents place to move in with a boyfriend, but it was 3 hours away. We broke up and I did live alone for a while in a scuzzy little bachelor apartment, but it was mine and I felt it was a good experience. Now been living with fh for the last 11 years, but he spends a lot of his time in his “man cave” (ie the basement) so we both get alone time if we need it.
And I can sympathize with the financial part. Rent, utilities, cable, telephone…all those add up.
I lives alone during the summer at my mom’s cabin. i took care of Grandma and Grandpa during the summer. I loved it. I could set my own rules and I didn’t have to pick up after everyone but me. The cost was down because Mom owned the place but the alone time was good.
i have a roomie now where I’m living and that works out good too. She’s there to split the expenses and help me take care of my critters if I have to out of town of I’m sick. However I do have to put up with her idiosyncrasies and that can be annoying. Particularly if I have to pick up after her. I’m a slob in my own right…i don’t need help 😆 But the good out weighs the bad.
However, finding a good roomie can be hard. I’ve had a few bad ones and it was a real pain.
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Sun Dragon Koi #3Well I was in a girls home and moved out on my own when I was 18–had my own studio apartment. I was very young and very lonely and moved in with another girl I thought I knew a few months later–big mistake! She lost her job and didn’t want to find another one. Fortunately I had another friend who was buying their first home and I rented a room from them for almost 2 years. Then I met my husband and got married–we bought our own home and this is where I’m at now. He passed away and now I’m living alone again, only this time I like it!
I love that freedom of not always having to pick up and doing to the place pretty much what I want. If I wanted to paint the walls magenta–I could not going to do that!I like my freedom. Eat what I want, collect what I want, have the pets I want, come and go when I want. It is scary though–things can go wrong and there is no one there to take care of it but you. It is a responsibility but I’ve been doing it now for almost 10 years–have a job, had to buy a car by myself a little over a year ago and had to get a new refrigerator a couple years after my husband passed.
It’s those making the decisions on purchase of major appliances and fixing plumbing and things like that can be overwhelming. But when I don’t have to work and just sit there watching TV or listening to music and having my dogs around me and listening to my birds, I’m pretty content. Of course I don’t know you, but from what I gather from seeing what you post, you’d be a great one for living on your own. Nothing like owning your own place!
Of course, I have to pass this little tidbit along–someone told me way back then when I was this 18 year old renting her first place–first thing to buy–toilet paper! 😆 Darn, I thought that was what the shower curtains were for! 😈 XD
LadyFirebird wrote:Of course, I have to pass this little tidbit along–someone told me way back then when I was this 18 year old renting her first place–first thing to buy–toilet paper! 😆 Darn, I thought that was what the shower curtains were for! 😈 XD
I thought that was what the decorative silk plants sprucing up the bathroom were for…..Nice thing about an outhouse? If there’s a bush next to it you just reach out for some leaves, just hope it’s not poison ivy/oak/sumac. 👿
Well, when I first moved out (almost 3 years ago now), I was pretty nervous, but in so many ways I needed it. I had been moving back and forth between my mother and father’s house every week since they had divorced about five years prior. It was hard bouncing back and forth trying to make both of my parents happy. There was also the wonderful issue of dealing with my step sisters who were allowed to get away with so many things that my parents would never have tolerated from me or my brother and sister. I wanted to get a house right away, but my family strongly recommended that I start out renting an apartment and go on from there. This worked out fairly nicely for me. When I moved into my apartment, I finally felt like I had a stable home for the first time in years. I was also free to do so many things without having to make someone else happy. Being in an apartment allowed me learn how to live on my own and how to balance my finances without committing to a large investment. I was also pretty close to many of my family members in case something happened. When my lease close to being up about a year later, I knew how to balance my finances pretty well and knew just how much I could pay for a house payment. That’s when I went looking for a house to invest in. This was a fun experience where I got to look at several houses and neighborhoods before I made my choice of where I would like to stay for awhile. I will say that owning a house as opposed to renting an apartment costs quite a bit more, and when something breaks, it’s on you to fix it. I had to sell some of my collection to fix my roof last year and other things have come up which means I can’t always get something I want, but in so many ways I feel it was worth it. I enjoy the freedom so much, and I love having a house that I can pretty much do with as I please. Hopefully you find this story helpful…
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and input, everybody. *hugs you all*
My status quo right now – which could change at any given hour; still waiting for an e-mail from the sellers – is this: If I move out, I will buy a house. I’ve found it would cheaper than renting, even renting at a reduced price in one of my grandfather’s buildings. Besides, I’ve always been averse to the notion of living in a “rabbit hutch” with neighbors on all sides of me. I work in real estate management; when I go home in the evening I don’t want to go home to what I’ve been dealing with all day from the office. Not to mention that if I feel like leaving my motorcycle running at 5:30 a.m. on a -10°C morning for ten minutes so it’s somewhat warm before we hit the road, I don’t want somebody complaining about the noise. I’m quiet; my machines are anything but.
Also, I can keep in mind that though moving out costs quite a bit more than living with parents, with whom I have a very good relationship, the mortgage on my house is coming from Dad, not a bank. If everything were to go south, that leaves me some leeway.
Looking forward to more stories, and I’ll keep y’all posted as to what happens in my case…Greater Basilisk wrote:I suppose that usual way is to go to college and get used to living without Mom and Dad that way.
Wait…I was supposed to move out before going to college? *Goes to college and still lives with parents* 😀
Greater Basilisk wrote:All I know is that when I calculated what my own place would cost me, I was surprised to see how much money mooching off parents saves one. Moving out is a big step; this is the biggest decision I’ve made so far, and I admit I’m kinda scared.
Oh man, that’s why I’m still here with my parents!
Option 1: Live with Parents
Pro: NO BILLS (besides school and cell phone and my Windstone Credit Card)
Con: Putting up with my mother and still living by her “rules” (although, admittedly, I’ve never pushed the envelope with my mother, so she’s never actually had to give me many rules, no curfew for example, I’ve always just followed my own set of standards and what I’ve felt she’d “approve”)Option 2: Move out
Pro: hmm…make my own rules? More privacy?
Con: oh god, too many bills, I wouldn’t be able to actually live and go to school at the same time here!I can’t give you any advice on moving out, since I can’t bring myself to do so yet!
But I DO wish you super good luck if you decide to do it!^^
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