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New Orleans Crabs…
A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde, female crew member to take care of the box for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator.
He pointedly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, mentioned that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans , please raise your hand?”
Not one hand went up … so she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Men never learn.
2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most men think!The love story of Ralph and Edna…
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, ‘Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness..
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.’
Edna replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?’
Happy Mental Health Day!
XD
That’s bad, but man, that’s funny!Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmSHE MUST HAVE BEEN BLONDE 😀
Ok this is a true story, I am not making this up, but last summer was when I started selling things on Ebay for the first time, and although I have a good track record with 100% feedback, I really wanted to get myself established as a good seller also. Besides, your DSR’s (detailed seller ratings) will not show until you have had 10 feedbacks received from buyers. Well, there was one buyer that I sold a Dolce and Gabbana gold cell phone charm to, and I think she had maybe 5 feedbacks on her. I had left feedback for her, but got none back, and I knew she must have received it, so I emailed her, and asked her if she received it, and if so, could she leave me some feedback on it.
She emailed me back saying “it’s darling–I bought it for my friend who has the initials of D and G”
And then she left me NO feedback on Ebay! XD Apparantly, she thoght I was asking her for feedback–to me!! XD XD XDSigh. Some folks can be pretty oblivious sometimes. Did you check whether she’d ever left anyone else feedback?
As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.
I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.
I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.
As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I’d never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest. I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.
As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, “Sweet Jeezuz, Mary’n Joseph, I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
XD
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