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Wolfen, if he’s treating you like this now, and he’s only a boyfriend, things are only going to get worse! Get out of there while you still can! Please! I hate to sound like a pessimist, but no amount of talking things out is going to fix what kind of a person he is. Please don’t let him take up any more of your life. Move back in with your folks if you have to, but don’t live with him. I’ve known way too many women who end up with awful men and get themselves into a position where they can’t leave. Don’t let this happen to you!
And as an added perspective: When my parents got divorced my mom actually let my dad come back home (because she is too nice for her own good) and he told her she could pay everything because he was “just a guest” in our home. That sounds way too similar to him calling you a roommate to me. RED FLAGS!
This! Wolfen, you’re relationship sounds abusive on his part. He’s crippling you so you can’t leave, and he’s saying things that will make you feel emotionally worthless so, even if you could afford to leave, you will feel as though you don’t deserve better. If you are, in fact, his girlfriend, he would not be asking you to sacrifice yourself for him. While you might be willing to do it, it’s a trust no true love would ever violate.
Currently, I make quite a bit more than my boyfriend, and we live together. We split the rent, but I take on other expenses so that he can afford some luxuries, too. We are in agreement that if his financial situation changes (or mine does), things will be adjusted accordingly. Do I wish I had more disposable income? Yeah, but my relationship is more important.
Yeah, he gets the “all business” from his mother. She is a businesswoman, before all else. She is constantly working-at home, in the car-always. When she loans him money, she expects it paid back with interest. I mean, its your kid, c’mon. His mother has crippled him in many ways. Things between us are good most of the time, but once every 6 months we have a fight or disagreement and things get like this. I have told him that when I finish school and get my “real” job, I will pay all the bills for 2-3 years, to “pay him back”. Sometimes he doesn’t seem to care about that, hes only interested in now. He is a great guy, really-I tend to complain when things are bad but not really speak up when things are good. Some of our friends think we are this perfect couple who never fights, always respond with love and care. Well, 99% of the time. We do have a lot of fun together and enjoy several of the same activities, but sometimes he just shuts down and turns into this dark ball of tension. I just wish he could find a job that doesn’t stress him out. (if such a thing exists?) Or learn how to deal with stress. One source of it will end, but there will be another one.
Today he said he needed to talk when he got home. I tried to avoid the subject and tried to make jokes and keep things light. He was smiling, looking into my eyes. We watched some TV and after about an hour, he got up, put shoes on and said, “I’m tried of being p***ed off all the time.” told me he loved me, and left. I asked him if it was me and he said it wasn’t. That was about 2.5 hours ago.
His sister (whom everyone thought would never have kids besides her 2 fur kids whom she absolutely spoiled) just had a baby. I can’t help but think that’s got him thinking. About what, I dont know. He says he needs to figure out where he needs to be and how to get there. I dont know what that means!! UGH!!! *exhale* well Im done complaining. 😛 Thank you for your advice everyone. I will keep it all in mind.
ooof, all I’m hearing in my head is “Danger Will Robinson Danger!”
4 things I'm looking for:
1. Mother Meerkat
2. production color Sitting Young Oriental dragons to be made in more colors besides VF
3. Female Griffin – Siamese with White
4. September Raffle Prize 2022 AHD Male GriffinWishing you well and all the best , Wolfen . Your not the problem what ever he’s going thru .
Snippy people drive me nuts . I’ve been in a bad , hurt mood over them all day . It’s not worth it .
Oh yeah and trying to open a case of pop . I put the scissors in a can and oh man what a mess ! UGH . I really want to scream over that . I just toke a nap and feel better . Scream into a pillow and kicking legs kind of last few days . LOL .
When she loans him money, she expects it paid back with interest.
O.o … bwa?? That’s just… that’s crazy. I’m sorry, but that’s so crazy!! I can understand teaching your child a lesson on how business works once or twice but surely he has learned that by now! To me that goes beyond teaching a lesson and into obsessive compulsion ><
Anyway.. I do hope he can start communicating with you about what hes going through. I'm sure I don't need to really say it but communication is so stinkin' important in relationships! Although it does seem like he's being unfair to you, I dont think what he's done is reason to simply leave him. You obviously love the man after all and it sounds like some of the things he's being unfair about may come from the business side of his brain (thanks mom T_T) and he may not even realize how callous it's coming across as..
*hugs to you both* I hope it works out my friend <3
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Please visit My Webpage to see my art and PYO's that I've done in the past!I agree with Hannah! Communication is key! Maybe he’ll open up some if you just outright tell him to talk to you about whats happening in his life that’s so stressing (In a nurturing way, not a demanding way) men hate talking about their feelings, but like everyone else, sometimes need to… ‘n if he’s anything like my man, once you get him started, its a lil easier to get it all out… they get that feeling off their chest and feel better (Exactly as we do in this thread) and you gain understanding of whats stressing him, and can work with him (or know what not to say/do when he’s really upset to keep him from coming at you) You do obviously love each other, and relationships hit rocky points.. mine is going through one, n I dunno where it’s headed n it scares me.. but because I love him, I’m willing to tough it out so long as he lets me…
I hope you the best Wolfen!
Oh Wolfen, please be very careful! That sounds very similar to what happened to my best friend!
She married her BF (who is 10 years older and whose parents have some very strange attitudes) when she was still studying. Since he had a very good job he paid for a lot of things (like her drivers licence and rent) but they had a list with all the things she has to pay him back once she has a job and normal salary, which she did.
For a few years they really seemed like the perfect couple even though he seemed rather depressed most of the time and she constantly tried to cheer him up and defend his moods.
And then he slowly started getting weird. They got 2 kids and when she started working (80%!) again he expected her to also do all the housework alone, he began controlling who she met, was constantly complaining that everything she did was just not good enough, began throwing objects at her, calling her names, said she was too stupid to even do the housework right and if she wasn´t so cheap he would rather get a housemaid and so on. Since all this did not happen suddenly but very slowly it took her a long time to realize that something was seriously wrong and what an extreme compulsive behaviour he had developed. So she grabbed her kids in the middle of the night and went to a womens house.He made lists of everything, who she met and for how long, how much time she spent on this or that, what food she bought,…!
Now they are in the middle of a really bad divorce battle and he does everything to make her life a living hell, because it freaks him out that now he can´t control her anymore and she managed to start a new life without him!Please be really careful and try to look at your relatonship from outside from time to time to see if it is still healthy!
So sorry TDM.You will all be better off in the long run.Remember it will be over and how he behaves,well,the boys are watching.
Wolphen,I am sorry you are being treated like that.I know it is so hard to make it on your own but kick him to the curb! He obviously is using you to take care of him.Money should not be an issue if you truly care for one another.It is the excuse,not the reason.You can do better.Start planning ahead and look for a new roommate yourself and one day when he comes home expecting you to be there with his dinner ready,the house will be all quiet and dark.The sun will shine on your face and you will smile deeply to yourself.Trust me,that day will come and you will ask yourself…What took me so long? Experience talking here,believe me.Good luck.Every act matters.No matter how small💞
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Male Hearth....one day🤞Dream on.a big old F U to the Department of Education and crappy state colleges on top of that. Starting June 1st this year federal subsized loans will not be offered to graudate students, only unsubsized aka financial frickin suicide loans. I have two classes to finish my bloody master’s degree, for that I need about 3k in tuition, but they offered me 17k in unsubsized loans, WTF is wrong with these people?!?!? I don’t know when I’m going to tell my family, the first thing out their mouths will be “why don’t you sell all those dragons?” And then I will have to hit somebody.
When I did my masters, I paid for my tuition by being a TA. Don’t know if that’s doable for you.
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmWhen I did my masters, I paid for my tuition by being a TA. Don’t know if that’s doable for you.
My program, one of the only three accredited library science programs in California, is all online; the campus is over 100miles away from me. I work part time at a library, but a year there still makes less than what my tuition costs in a year. FT work is not available at my county library and not an option with my course load. A work-study or fellowship is usually awarded as part of a financial aid package, but students in my program do not qualify for any aid except loans, no matter how great the financial need.
So allow me to repeat, F U Department of Education!!!!
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