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Optimist vs. Pessimist
Christmas Santa
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.Just to see what would happen, on the twins’ birthday their father loaded the pessimist’s room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist’s room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed by the pessimist’s room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
“Why are you crying?” the father asked.
“Because my friends will be jealous, I’ll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I’ll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken.” answered the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twin’s room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. “What are you so happy about?” he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
How about a little different Santa Song
keschete wrote:If you need me to post the cat dosage of frontline, I can, or you can pm me. My vet showed me that you can buy one box of the big dog frontline and then I empty it into a blood vial tube and put the stopper on. Then I draw up the dosage for the weight for my cats and dogs with a small syringe.
It is much cheaper and it is the same frontline for both cats and dogs. If you have a helpful vet, he will show you the same thing. My vet knows I rescue and he is very helpful at helping me save money.
[color=red]We use the large size for dogs and divide it also. Just a cautionary note though. Be absolutely sure that you get the product for FLEAS ONLY as the one that treats for tics can kill your cats[/color]
Thanks
Here’s A Christmas story to go with it 😈Lost X Files Christmas episode
Mulder: We’re too late. It’s already been here.
Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing.
Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into some sort of shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care.
Scully: You really think someone’s been here?
Mulder: Someone or some thing.
Scully: Mulder, over here–it’s fruitcake.
Mulder: Don’t touch it! Those things can be lethal.
Scully: It’s O.K. There’s a note attached: “Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice.”
Mulder: It’s judging them, Scully. It’s making a list.
Scully: Who? What are you talking about?
Mulder: Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who could travel at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants. Once each year, near the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the heavens to reward its followers and punish its disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite.
Scully: But that’s legend, Mulder–a story told by parents to frighten children. Surely, you don’t believe it?
Mulder: Something was here tonight, Scully. Check out the bite marks on this gingerbread man. Whatever tore through this plate of cookies was massive — and in a hurry.
Scully: It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder, this milk glass has been completely drained.
Mulder: It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without remorse.
Scully: But why would they leave it milk and cookies?
Mulder: Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing can stop its wilding.
Scully: But if this thing does exist, how did it get in? The doors and windows were locked. There’s no sign of forced entry.
Mulder: Unless I miss my guess, it came through the fireplace.
Scully: Wait a minute, Mulder. If you are saying some huge creature landed on the roof and came down the chimney, you’re crazy. The flue is barely six inches wide. Nothing could get through there.
Mulder: But what if it could alter its shape, move in all directions.
Scully: You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?
Mulder: Exactly. Scully, I’ve never told anyone this, but when I was a child my home was visited. I saw the creature. It had long white strips of fur surrounding its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated torso was red and white. I’ll never forget the horror. I turned away, and when I looked back it had somehow taken on the facial features of my father.
Scully: Impossible.
Mulder: I know what I saw. And that night it read my mind. It brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully. IT KNEW I WANTED A MR. POTATO HEAD. Scully: I’m sorry, Mulder, but you’re asking me to disregard the laws of physics. You want me to believe in some supernatural being who soars across the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and boys. Listen to what you are saying. Do you understand the repercussions? If this gets out, they’ll close the X-files.
Mulder: Scully, listen to me: It knows when you are sleeping. It knows when you’re awake.
Scully: But we have no proof.
Mulder: Last year, on this exact date, S.E.T.I. radio telescopes detected bogeys in the airspace over twenty-seven states. The White House ordered a Condition Red.
Scully: But that was a meteor shower.
Mulder: Officially. Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian reindeer vanished from the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Nobody – not even the zookeeper – was told about it. The government doesn’t want people to know about Project Kringle. They fear that if this thing is proved to exist, then the public would stop spending half its annual income in a holiday shopping frenzy. Retail markets will collapse. Scully, they cannot let the world believe this creature lives. There’s too much at stake. They’ll do whatever it takes to insure another silent night.
Scully: Mulder, I — Scully: On the roof. It sounds like . . . a clatter. Mulder: The truth is up there. Let’s see what’s the matter…
Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
My sisters best friend ( a blonde) collects blonde jokes and has them printed on T-shirts
Did you hear about the dyslexic, insomniac, atheist?
He laid awake at night wondering if there was a dog!HA by New Years I’ll probably just want to hole up and sleep. We’ve got a wedding and a birthday just before Christmas
TrottierJS wrote:The buckskin Paint would be nice Melody. I have always been a fan of that combo as well, though I tend to like the overos with more color than white.
http://www.apha.com/breed/overo.html
i tend to be partial to paints as well. Although I’d buy anything Pegasus as a production piece.
Update from Taneea:
Here is the link for the ended auction for photos only. And that he was only taken out of the box to look at him and then put bsck. I never even took him out of the plastic. I need at least $210 that I paid for him, and 11.00 for US shipping. If its international, I will have to give them a quote. Yea, probably better to have them email me if it is internationally LOL. Thanks again for ALL your help. Heres the auctions address: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300167923981
Love Ya, TaneeaPM me if you are interested and I will send you her email. Or you can contact her through eBay
lamortefille wrote:That’s a shame it’s painful for DC to type and hang out with us. 🙁 Send her lots of good wishes from me, please!
Will do.
don’t know how soon she will be able to type again. Depends on how her joints are. I’m going to see if she would also be interested in a trade for pieces she wants.Maebnus3 wrote:Since I stuck my head in here… DC won the 10th IVEP Fledgie at $210.27. I’m so tempted… though I too would love to see a picture, if she happens to have one, since they used the same photo for all 10 auctions.
boy was I off! Thanks
Greater Basilisk wrote:The only things I put down on my wishlist were Buell tuning components and gun parts, as well as books. I won’t be getting any Windstones for Christmas, I know that. I might get some motorcycle gear, but that’s about it. Which is fine, because I have way too much stuff anyway. I like giving better than receiving.
How about a cookbook? 😛 *laughs mischievously*
Sorry O’t’s 3 A.N. here ans I’m a bit goofy 🙄 😆mmloda wrote:What did you pay for him and do you have a pic that you can post ? 🙂
I’ll check with Taneea. I’m sorry for the awkward way of handling this but most days she is unable to type.
I’m assuming it would be the same as the other fledglingd 74.00 but I’m not sure. If any one else knows or has a “sample” picture feel free to jump in
