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skigod377 wrote:

I agree about the strings 😯 . I dont know about any hormonal IUD as I will not use one. all my recommendations are for the copper, and that one cant fall out. If you have numbers on the percentage, I would love to know where you found this out. I went to reserch last night (Cuz of this conversation) and could not find any statistics anywhere.

My Gynefix was a copper based one – no hormones – just a string of copper beads stitched in at the top. It DID fall out 🙂

And here’s one set of statistics:

http://www.greenjournal.org/cgi/content/full/93/6/889
If you searched for ‘sterilisation regret’ you might find more stats.

It looks to me like only 6.3% of women who never had children before getting sterilised expressed regret about it (and that’s not actual reversals, just people who ‘change their mind’) … but of the people who expressed regret, the vast majority of them – something like 75% – were women who had kids and were sterilised under the age of thirty.

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skigod377 wrote:

Oh, and you said that people who get reversals are almost always people that already have kids and decide they want more, not people who dont have kids… thats because most doctors wont perform the procedure on people who have no kids so most of the people who have the procedure in the first place already have kids.

The percentage of people who do not have kids, have been sterilised and then decide to get it reversed is very significantly smaller than the percentage of people who have kids, get sterilised, then decide to get it reversed.

Not just the number is smaller – but the actual proportion of childfree reversals to childfree non-reversals is smaller than the proportion of childed reversals to childed non-reversals.

I’m fully in agreement – IUDs are a great temporary solution… I had one for four years.

However… they are not foolproof. It may be slightly too much information, but even normal ‘vanilla’ behaviours can pull on the protruding strings – and even pull the IUD out. I discovered this to my detriment – I had a Gynefix IUD, which is stitched in. Also… if they have nylon strings, these can poke one’s significant male other quite painfully.

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skigod377 wrote:

Ok, im not going to get started on another kid debate, but people DO change their minds. Case in point: I had Justin. I asked them to tie my tubes and they wouldnt. I was 23? and had only this one kid, but I didnt like children and KNEW I would NEVER want more. Here I am, 7 years later, and now I am thinking I want a baby. I also have a friend named Craig who had his little tubes tied. He has two kids w/a previous wife. They divorced and they split custody. He is now married to another woman who has no kids and wants kids. Now Craig wants kids with his new wife. He went and had his buddies operated on, (Several thousand Euro) and the procedure didn’t work. Now they have to try the freezing thing… something about gathering his sperm and her eggs and fertilizing it, then injecting it into her uterus. They have to pay for this, too. Now, Craig is over 30. He had two kids already. He changed his mind.

You know… the people who ‘change their minds’ are almost unanimously people who have had one or two kids, get fixed and THEN decide they’d like more.

People who get fixed BEFORE having any kids… don’t tend to change their minds. I don’t think I’ve heard of ANY childfree who’s changed their mind, and the one study I read about it indicated that nulliparas make up the very smallest number of people wanting or obtaining reversals.

BOTH of your cited cases are cases of people who have kids already… and those ‘mind changes’ are the ones that make it difficult for people like me – who are absolutely anti-kid, don’t want them and never do – and don’t change their minds either – to get fixed.

I SHOULD have been able to get a tubal on the NHS.
I was told “first, ten years or three kids, your choice.”

I asked why it wasn’t ok for me, a 24-year-old, to make the permanent decision to NOT have children… when it was OK for the girl in the lobby – at least seven years younger and I’d guess ten – to have made the permanent decision TO have children not once but twice. She had one young child and a baby on the way.

Both are equally permanent decisions – except that MY decision only affects me, and not the putative life i’m bringing into the world.

In the end, I went to Marie Stopes and paid more than I could afford to have it done. Best £1500 I ever spent. The peace of mind I got from knowing that I’m very unlikely ever to have another unwanted pregnancy is worth ten times that.

Vantid: Persist on the tubal if you’re sure you don’t want kids. Insist that your doctor refer you to someone who is willing to hear your reasons.

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Yes, but where’s the floor for:

Men who have jobs, look presentable, help with the housework and follow the “Love me, Love My Pet” philosophy?

I’d have had to settle for “Has a job”… because a guy who likes kids is likely to want them… and I don’t!

I think I’ll go across the street and shop at the wives store.

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DigitalDragon wrote:

I thought it was also illegal to expect someone to do heavy physical labour when it was not in their job description to begin with, and especially if they have a physical limitation? If you were to be further injured by doing the work, they could have a worker’s compensation claim on their hands… or perhaps the law works differently in different places, not sure.

If it were a big company, maybe yes. But our little company (the boss is the business owner, and there’s all of seven employees including him) … a lot of the laws don’t seem to apply until you’ve got ten employees.

He’s not legally obligated to provide me with sick pay (and statutory sick pay doesn’t start until you’ve been off four days – and doesn’t cover what you ACTUALLY would have been paid, it’s about £60 a week. I make not quite that in a day… so I can’t even afford to wait for the statutory-sick to kick in). I’m glad I get paid holidays, given the size of the company.

Never mind that I couldn’t afford to bring a workman’s comp suit against him to begin with – I couldn’t afford it when it was constructive dismissal at the Tech college library job, and I really can’t afford it now.

SPark wrote:

And really I don’t understand why people who are unhappy with their jobs aren’t constantly job-hunting. But most of them don’t seem to be. They complain and gripe, but they don’t actually go looking for a new place. It is because they’re afraid their old job will find out that they’re looking, and then fire them?

Because a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush? Why would I want to jeopardise my paycheck on the basis that MAYBE someone else wants to hire a 29-year-old American with no college degree, no UK qualifications, five years of library experience and two years of web design experience AND pay me more than I’m getting now?

I’m actually not UNHAPPY with my job. I like the web design aspects of it, and once the gift shop takes off, I’m sure my boss will either move to proper premises instead of working out of his basement or hire a storage facility for the gift shop stock. I certainly want to stay long enough to get some distance-learning qualifications on my boss’s ticket with regards to web design and programming, since he’s willing to pay out for that kind of staff training.

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Melody wrote:

Greater Basilisk wrote:

Violet is too pale. A nice, deep purple like on a peacock Spectral… 😀

Yeah, dark purple.

Awww, I want a silver dragon with GREEN eyes. There haven’t been any production green-eyed dragons.

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Art Slinger wrote:

if you are worth more than what you are paid : Tell your boss to give you a raise or fire you 💡 . If you can’t get better at what you do, don’t do it, you’re wasting your time. This really counts in every part of life.

Great idea, leaving a job if it doesn’t pay what you want… IF you can afford not to be paid while you look for a new job.

I can’t afford not to bring in a paycheck – even if it’s smaller than what we really NEED – for any length of time.

Hell, I can’t afford to take a day off sick when my back is hurting so bad I can barely stand and making me so sick to my stomach I can’t eat… and why is my back hurting? Because the boss’s office doesn’t have any access for people to bring deliveries of his new gift shop’s goods… and a delivery of 200+ ceramic pots arrived on Wednesday when I was one of three people in the office. One other person has a bad back also; she didn’t help. The other other person couldn’t lift the boxes, because they were too big to get her arms around. And the delivery man felt that his duty ended the minute the last box was off the truck – and left.

So unless I wanted to leave a couple thousand dollars worth of stock sitting outside in the boss’s rock garden… *I* had to shift it.

Now… what I was hired to do is web design.

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mimitrek wrote:

Dragon Master wrote:

mimitrek wrote:

Dragon Master wrote:

again with the killing thing. LALALALALA

That’s what I say! 😆

Mimi you better watch out next they will be talking about big snakes eating squirrels

Nah, the squirrels are too quick for the snakes! 😀

Not to mention too aggressive and too fuzzy – all that hair would be horrible to have to clean up afterwards!

Grey squirrels might LOOK cute, but they’re tree rats with good PR and an attitude.

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Wish I could afford to put my name in the hat, but with shipping to the UK also…. can’t.

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Greater Basilisk wrote:

I dunno. There are some fish with the same brain siye that are smarter than that. Like goldfish. I wouldn-t think of fish as intelligent or anything, but I-ve taught mine a few simple tricks.

Yes, you can teach a goldfish tricks – but you can teach mice much more sophisticated ones.

Not that I HAVE, mind you – I don’t spend time training my mice to put themselves into the ‘dive’ position so that when they DO get fed to snakes they’re easier to swallow…. honest!

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Yeah, I kind of realised what my own personal attitude to my mice is when I had the following occur:

Here I am, feeding the mice, putting my arm down into the cage with my next lot of up-and-coming breeders.

Little solid black female mouse sees a chance and darts up my arm, then goes flying off the lip of the cage onto the floor… right in front of the cats.

Cats, being cats, do what they do – chase mouse. Newt catches it and kills it.

I spend five minutes trying to convince the cat to drop the nice dead mouse for me – “Good girl, Newt, nice girl, thank you for catching that for me, I wouldn’t have liked to have had that loose in the house…” She eventually does let me have it, dead but otherwise not all that bad off.

My thoughts?

“You stupid little booger. I was saving you for breeding, you had a free pass to live safe, eat and incidentally make me babies, not like your siblings who wound up as reptile food. Oh well, guess you’re going to feed a reptile sooner than I had planned.”

If I were going to try to take a photo of that particular ‘pet’ I’d have to draw a circle around my tegu’s tummy.

Now, on the other hand, if one of the cats came in and hooked one of the breeders OUT of a cage to kill it, that’s a totally different scenario. Then the cat’s invaded my own personal private larder instead of having stupid food run out in front of them and they WILL get shouted at for that!

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ddvm wrote:

When I was very young my Dad brought 2 mice home from work – Pete and Repete and she did! So we had mice from when I was 3 or 4 years old. As I got older I branched out into rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters and rats (which, by the way, are GREAT pets if you can get passed the tail) so I just could never face feeding one to a snake.

*chuckle* I actually have a favourite mouse in my breeding colony – Reprieve is a chocolate tan female who was originally slated to be ‘breakfast’ but her temperament was just so nice I wanted to see if it was hereditary. She jumps onto the top of their house and onto the rim of the cage to climb onto my hands when I go in to feed them, and is quite happy to sit on my shoulder.

She stays because she’s a “pet” as much as a breeder – and yes, some of her babies are as nice as she is.

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That is actually WHY I raise my own mice.

If I know how they lived – from birth until humane death – and I know tht I did everything I could to make their deaths as painless and stress-free as possible – then it makes me feel better about owning something that requires another animal to die in order to feed it.

I might be the one who does the killing, but at least I know that they are not in pain or stress at the end.

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I wasn’t sure I could do it either before I got Jasper, my first corn snake – but then again, how is it different to own a cat who eats animals (whether or not they’re ground up and combined with wholly biologically-inappropriate grains for kibble or not) than to own a snake or lizard?

I’m just more aware of exactly what dies in order to feed my reptiles than most people who keep carnivorous pets are… in fact, I do breed about half of the mice I feed to my snakes and hope to be wholly self-sufficient once I can get a colony of Natal rats and my colony of Dubia roaches going.

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I’ve had pet rabbits too, but I definitely prefer the snakes.

Besides, rabbits breed like… well, rabbits.

In this case, the snake is DEFINITELY the underdog.

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