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Hang in there sweetheart, you know where to find me, left messages for you on FB, hope you saw them. *hugs* If you need anything, just let me know.
Kyrin
When I am feeling depressed, it is easier to just sit there and cry or mope…and it is hard to think of getting up and doing something different. I will try to remember that…to just take a walk, or something like that. Kyrin, I just left you a message on FB…I didn’t get any FB messages from you, so I hope you didn’t think I passed them over.
I had a dream about my mom last night (first one since she died!) and I was over at her house (an upgraded/nicer one) with a couple friends from high school, and we were watching a movie. When the movie was over, and my friends left, she looked stressed and was rubbing her head. She said how having everyone over stresses her out. I asked her if having only me over would be too stressful, and she reached her arm out and held me to her while rubbing my arm, and said something along the lines of, “Oh, never…I love you.” And that was it..I woke up. It was a nice dream.I hope I have another good one tonight. Even with my mother-in-law, Pam, in it. I miss her so much too.I think the dreams were the hardest part for me. You go to sleep and everything is “okay” while you’re dreaming and then when you wake up, you go through the whole realization again and it just all comes crashing down.
I lost my dad and an aunt last summer and my grandmother last fall (it was kind of a bad year for us). I agree with everyone who’s suggested trying to find activities that help you concentrate on something else.
But be patient and kind with yourself too! It’s okay to grieve and everyone starts healing at a different pace. I found the strangest things made me sad. I cried for an hour folding laundry once because all I could think is that my dad would never need to have his clothes washed again.
The good news I guess is that it does get better and you start to realize that while they are “gone”, they’re still with you in your memories and in your heart. The people you love make you who you are. It helped me to think about all the parts of my life that were shaped by my dad. (The dent in my chin, my son’s dark skin and eyes, the fact I put salt and pepper on cantaloupe, etc).
*HUGS*
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