Suggestions for getting mother away from abusive husband?

[Pamela]

Good luck, Arlla. I hope your mom gets a great lawyer – the right lawyer makes all the difference. Your mom is lucky to have such a supportive daughter!

[lamortefille]

Best of luck and *hugs* for all of you!

[Tintaglia]

Best wishes that this works out quickly for your mother. The sooner she’s out, the better.

[siberakh1]

Good luck Arlla! I concur on what Lupin, RiDuvessa, and Kyrin have already said. Charging him with theft of the sword is a definite, otherwise it will probably never be returned. Hopefully your mom is ready and everything works out quickly and safely you all! You don’t need him following or coming after any of you (and I have the distinct, very gut feeling that he may try something like this so please be careful!!!). Best of luck on getting a good lawyer! I’m sending prayers and good luck vibes your way! Keep us posted as you can.

[Margaret]

Arlla, my heart goes out to you. I used to work in a battered women’s shelter and I want to tell you from here. You are in the middle of the cycle of violence. The battering, then the sweetness, then the increased violence, then the “helpfulness”, then the violence again. Your mother really needs to understand that IT WILL NOT GET BETTER and HE WILL NOT CHANGE!!. Not until she is really and truly finished. NO MORE PROMISES! If he is court-ordered or volunteers into anger management classes for ONE YEAR, and he makes the committment to attend consistently, there is a slight chance he might make some significant changes, although the relapse rate is very high. But unless those are the conditions your mom sets for any consideration of reconciliation, she will continue to endanger herself and you.
This is a poem I got when I worked at the shelter and I still give it to my clients who need to hear it.
I Got Flowers Today
I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night. And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night he threw me against a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day.
Last night he beat me up again. And it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. Today was the day of my funeral.
Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough couage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers today.

I don’t know who wrote it so I don’t know who to credit it to.

Please, Arlla’s mom, find the strength and courage and believe that all the help and support you need is reaching out for you and a new life is waiting for you. Let the ones who have been there light your path. Love and Light to you both drgnlvr

[Arlla]

Thanks SO much for all your well wishes and support, guys! Every little bit helps, it really means a lot to my mom and I.

Well, it’s tuesday and today was the day. She left the house this morning and will never, ever have to go back. We’re all safe for the moment and are prepared to leave here if we find that he’s coming after us. I’m not going to go into any details about anything here, as there is the possibility that he could find and read this, but I did just want to let you know that we’re safe and my mom didn’t back down; she was strong and very brave. And now we’ll finally be able to take care of her and let her taste freedom for the first time in 29 years.
Thanks again everyone. I’ll let you all know if anything happens.

"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom."
-J R R Tolkien

[Shawna]

Arlla wrote:

Thanks SO much for all your well wishes and support, guys! Every little bit helps, it really means a lot to my mom and I.

Well, it’s tuesday and today was the day. She left the house this morning and will never, ever have to go back. We’re all safe for the moment and are prepared to leave here if we find that he’s coming after us. I’m not going to go into any details about anything here, as there is the possibility that he could find and read this, but I did just want to let you know that we’re safe and my mom didn’t back down; she was strong and very brave. And now we’ll finally be able to take care of her and let her taste freedom for the first time in 29 years.
Thanks again everyone. I’ll let you all know if anything happens.

I am so glad things went well, and that you are safe. I hope nothing happens…that would be the best thing in the world. I pray that by the time he thinks of doing anything you will all be way out of reach and he won’t know where to find you.

*hugs* Tell your Mom that we’re proud of her for standing her ground, I know it wasn’t easy. And give her a big supportive hug from me.

Kyrin

[Purplecat]

I’m glad it went well, give her a hug from me! 😀

[dragonmedley]

That’s great news, Arlla.

Big hugs to you and your mom!

Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

[darjeb]

That’s great new hugs and kisses to your mom and you. I hope you keep safe and sound.

[Jasmine]

Wonderful!! *Hugs* to both you and your mom!!

[Elena]

I hope everythign continues to go well!! *hugs*

[lamortefille]

Big hugs and lots of good thoughts for both of you! 😀

[Bob]

This is GREAT news!!

[Jodi]

Good! I hope you are all safe for a long time.

[Author]

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