- This topic has 938 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 13 years, 5 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
My name is Spam.
Spam I Am.
I have some stuff I’d like to sell.
Take a look! It’s really swell!
–
I do not want your worthless spam.
I do not want it, Spam I Am.
–
Spam I Am:
$500 software that really rocks!
Just 20 bucks–still in the box!
–
You are really full of bunk.
I do not want your bootleg junk!
I do not want your worthless Spam.
I do not want it Spam I Am.
–
Spam I Am:
How about some fast cash?
Fifty Thousand in a flash!!!
–
How stupid do you think I am?
I won’t join your shady scam.
You are a sucker, you silly gitch.
If it worked, we’d all be rich!
I do not want your worthless spam.
I do not want it Spam I Am.
–
Spam I Am:
Check out this great idea of mine!
For Web Hosting and Design!
–
I went to your site; it really sucks!
For this you’re charging lots of bucks?
You could at least learn to spell.
Why don’t you just go to hell.
I do not want your worthless spam.
I do not want it Spam I Am.
–
Don’t pretend your ads are new.
You insult us when you do.
I won’t buy your worthless stocks.
Our heads are not full of rocks
Stop it Spam. Enough’s enough.
I do not want your trashy stuff!
I do not want your damn spam!
I do not want it Spam I Am!A farmer went to the local bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and
Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.
The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn’t even look at a cow.
Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull.
Next week, Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped.
The farmer looked very pleased. “The bull has serviced all of my cows! He broke through
the fence, and bred all my neighbor’s cows! He’s been breeding just about everything in
sight. He’s like a machine!”
“Wow,” said Banker Bill, “what did the vet do to that bull?”
“Just gave him some pills,” replied the farmer.
“What kind of pills?” asked Banker Bill.
“I don’t know, but they kind of taste like peppermint.”God Said, “Adam I want you to do something for me.”
Adam said, “Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?”
God said, “Go down into that valley.”
Adam said, “What’s a valley?”
God explained it to him.
Then God said, “Cross the river.”
Adam said, “What’s a river?”
God explained that to him, and then said, “Go over to the hill……”
Adam said, “What is a hill?”
So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam, “On the other side of the hill you will find a cave”
Adam said, “What’s a cave?”
After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a Woman.”
Adam said, “What’s a woman?”
So God explained that to him, too.
Then, God said, “I want you to reproduce.”
Adam said, “How do I do that?”
God first said (under his breath), “Geez…..” !
And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.
So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.
Then, in about five minutes, he was back.
God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, “What is it now?”
And Adam said
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*“What’s a headache?”
The TRUE Story of Adam & Eve’s Pets
Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’
And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.’
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal
And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail .
And Adam said, ‘Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.’
And God said, ‘I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.’
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.’
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.’
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased . . . . . . .
And Dog was happy. . . . .
And Cat didn’t give a shit one way or other..
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
