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You sure this guy didn’t move to Valleyview (Alberta)? The winters there were always like that. Including the crazy snowplow guy. I remember taking a pickaxe to the snowdrifts…..
😕 🙄 XD
* Warning —if you are drinking coffee swallow it now*
CLASS PROJECT GONE WRONG
An elementary school class started a class project to make planters to take home to their parents.
They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants.
The students were given green-ware pottery planters in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze.
The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process.
It was great fun!
They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely, but unfortunately, the children were not allowed to take them home.
The cactus plants were removed and small ivy replaced them and the children were then allowed to take them home instead.The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time….
May the rest of your day be the best of your day!
OMG!! Are you trying to kill me
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with laughter??? 😆
(good thing I wasn’t drinking anything while reading that, I would have choked or my laptop would have had a bath)Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the back. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They looked so lifelike you wouldn’t believe it! They were in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
To my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my lifelike men. And of course, traffic started backing up.
Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn’t long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and started walking toward me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
‘What’s going on here?’
‘My car has a flat tire’, I said calmly.
‘Well, what the heck are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?’
I couldn’t believe that he didn’t know. So I told him, ‘Hellooooo, those are my emergency flashers!’Hahaha! I had read that one before, but it’s still funny!
I’d seen the clowns too…
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmA doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.
At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medications that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eye grew wide as he realized that she had a prescription for birth control pills.
“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?”
“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”
“Mrs. Smith, I assure you that there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!”
She reached out and patted the young doctor’s knee.
“Yes dear. I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks. And believe me, it helps me sleep at night.”
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.
When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade.”
The instructor said, “No…no error. During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.
“You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.”
After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the MUFFLER, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career!”
Wish I could think so quickly. . . .
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, ‘Are all of those kids yours?’
He replied, ‘No, I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.’
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I don’t know if this is really true but it’s great. sounds like something my Daddy would do 😀 😈> HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD
> George Phillips of Meridian , Mississippi was going up to bed, when his
> wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she
> could see from the bedroom window.
>
> George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that
> there were people in the shed stealing things.
>
> He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” He said
> “No.”
>
> Then they said “All patrols were busy. You should lock your doors and
> an officer will be along when one is available.”
>
> George said, “Okay” He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he
> phoned the police again.
>
> “Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
> stealing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them
> now because I just shot them.” and hung up.
>
> Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two
> Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips’
> residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
>
> One of the Policemen said to George, “I thought you said that you shot
> them!”
>
> George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!” (True
> Story)
>
> I LOVE IT! Don’t mess with old people!
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