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This is incredibly accurate
This is absolutely amazing. It will pick your role model to a TEE!
WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL???Try it without looking at the answers …… please don’t look
down until you do it, you’ll love it I promiseGET A CALCULATOR (YOUR COMPUTER HAS ONE ON IT)
1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9
2) Multiply by 3 then
3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I’ll wait while you get the
calculator….)4) You’ll get a 2 or 3 digit number..
5) Add the digits together
Now Scroll down …………..
Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:
1. Einstein
2. Nelson Mandela
3. Abraham Lincoln
4. Helen Keller
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. George Clooney
8. Thomas Edison
9. MARJI NICEWANDER, That’s right!!! SAY IT!!!
10. Abraham Lincoln
I know….I just have that effect on people….one day you too can
be like me…. 🙂 Believe it!P.S.: Stop picking different numbers. I am your idol, just deal with
it!!!!NOW CHANGE YOUR NAME IN NO. 9 AND SEND IT ON!! HA HA!!
😈 😈 😈
NTSB TEST
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past 5 years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV’s in an effort to determine in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 39 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, “Oh S**t !”
Only the states of Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, Oklahoma, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina and Texas were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: “Hold my beer, I’m gonna try somethin.”
I liked this one. I think they would find the second response alot in Alberta too…. lol…. “here, just hold my beer…..” 🙄
“Only the states of Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, Oklahoma, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina and Texas were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: “Hold my beer, I’m gonna try somethin.”
You really don’t know how true that is!!!! XD
Christmas carols for the psychologically challenged:
1) Schizophrenia- — Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?
2) Amnesia– I Don’t Remember If I’ll be Home for Christmas
3) Narcissistic- – Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
4) Manic– Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And……… ..
5) Multiple Personality Disorder—- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
6) Paranoid—Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us
7) Borderline Personality Disorder— You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I’m Gonna Cry, and I’ll not Tell You Why
8) Full Personality Disorder— Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire
9) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder—Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
10) Agoraphobia- –I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House
11) Senile Dementia—Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe
12) Oppositional Defiant Disorder—I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus … So I Burned Down the House
13) Social Anxiety Disorder—Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas — While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
And finally, a favorite…
14) Attention Deficit Disorder–We Wish You……Hey Look!! It’s Snowing!!!
Oh my gosh, I have to show that last one to my mother! She’s an RN currently working mental health 😆
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (CAJUN STYLE)
Day 1
Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed it las night with dirty rice an it was delicious. I doan tink the Pear tree would grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.Day 2
Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got was 2 scrawny pigeon. Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.Day 3
Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I’m tired of eating dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to Mrs. Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog, Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.Day 4
Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Deez four, what you call “calling bird” wuz so noisy you could hear dem all da’ way to Lafayette . I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed the rest of dem to the gators.Day 5
Dear Emile, You finally sent something useful. I liked dem golden rings, me. I hocked dem at da’ pawn shop in Sulphur and got enough money to fix the shaft on my shrimp boat, and to buy a round for da boys at the Raisin’ Cane Lounge.Merci Beaucoup!
Day 6
Dear Emile, Couchon! Back to da birds, you coonass turkey! Poor egg sucking Phideaux is scared to death ah dem six goose. He try to eat they eggs and they pecked the heck out ah his snout. Dem goose are damm good at eating cockroach around da’ house, though. I may stuff one ah dem goose with erster dressing to serve him on Christmas Day.Day 7
Dear Emile, I’m gonna wring your fool neck next time I see you. Ole Boudreaux, da mailman, is ready to kill you, too. The crap from all dem bird is stinkin up his mailboat. He afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and gonna sue him. I let dem seven swan loose to swim on da bayou and some stupid duck hunter from
Mississippi done blasted dem out da water. Talk to you tomorrow.Day 8
Dear Emile, Poor ole Boudreaux had to make 3 trips on his mail-boat to deliver dem 8 maids-a-milking & der cows. One of dem cows got spooked by da alligators and almost tipped over da boat. I doan like dem shiftless maids, me. I told dem to get to work gutting fish and sweeping my shack–but dey say it wasn’t in their contract. They probably tink they too good to skin all dem nutria I caught las night.Day 9
Dear Emile, What you trying to do? Boudreaux had to borrow da Cameron Ferry to carry these jumping twits you call lords-a-leaping across da bayou. As soon as dey got here dey wanted a tea break and crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, “Well la di da. You get Chicory coffee or nuthin.” Mon Dieux, Emile, what I’m gonna feed all these bozos? They too snooty for fried nutria, and da cow ate up all my turnip green.Day 10
Dear Emile, You got to be out of you mind. If da mailman don’t kill you, I will. Today he deliver 10 half nekkid floozies from Bourbon Street . Dey said they be “ladies dancing” but they doan act like ladies in front of dem Limey sailing boys. Dey almost left after one of them got bit by a water moccasin over by my out-house. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed toute le monde (everybody) and get toilet paper rolls. The Sears catalog wasn’t good enough for dem hoity toity lords. Talk at you tomorrow.Day 11
Dear Emile, Where Y’at? Cherio and pip pip. You 11 Pipers Piping arrived today from the House of Blues, second lining as dey got off da boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jumbalaya, finished da whiskey, and we’re having a fais-do-do. Da’ new mailman drank a bottle of Jack Daniel, and he’s having a good old time
dancing with the floozies. Da’ old mailman done jump off the Moss Bluff Bridge yesterday, screaming you name. If you happen to get a mysterious-looking, ticking package in da mail, don’t open it.Day 12
Dear Emile, Me I’m sorry to tell you–but I am not your true love anymore. After the fais-do-do, I spent da night with Jacques, the head piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentlemen’s club on the bayou. The floozies–pardon me–ladies dancing can make $20 for a table dance, and the lords can be the waiters and valet park da boats. Since da’ maids have no more cows to milk, I trained dem to set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, and run my shrimping business. We’ll probably gross a million dollars next year.There aren’t enough amused icons to answer this. I nearly choked, trying not to laugh out loud at the office as I read this. Thank you, Jasmine, for a real keeper spoof. 😆 😆 😆 XD
Greater Basilisk wrote:I’d hope to notice that monster before sitting down! 😮
😮 Holy cow–me too! I can’t imagine being so desperate for the potty that I’d sit down next to something like that. For crying out loud, it looks like it can jump! :shout:
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