I need your opinion…

Home Forums Miscellany General Writing Discussion I need your opinion…

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #494385
    dragonmedley
    Participant

      Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
      http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
      I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
      http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

      #666629
      dragonmedley
      Participant

        I’m in the process of preparing to send my manuscript to a publisher, and they need the equivalent of the blurb in the back of the book, so I need your help.

        Let’s say you’re browsing the Fantasy section at the bookstore. You hit a book called Green Dragon. You’re way into dragons, so you pick it up, you look at the cover (I always do), you like it, then you turn to read the back:

        In a small village of farmers and hunters on the outskirts of a great forest, Meeryle, a blooming chubby cook, and her friend Leena, the apprentice-Healer, are shaken out of their routine when they meet a dragon.

        Much to their surprise, the creature is not a ferocious carnivore, but a gentle giant caring for a particular aspect of their world, the forest. However, human mistrust puts the life of the dragon – and the forest in which they live – in danger. Not only that, but Leena discovers that Meeryle is a mage and never told her…

        Can a mage who couldn’t be bothered with magic and an insecure apprentice-Healer overcome their own differences and save their dragon friend – without losing everything and everyone they hold dear in the process?

        Would you want to read the story? Would you buy the book? If not, why? Too sappy? Too obvious? Etc.

        Please be frank. If you’re not interested, then chances are, the publisher won’t be either!

        I’m finding that getting published is almost harder than writing the story πŸ˜•

        Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
        http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
        I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
        http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

        #666630
        Jasmine
        Participant

          It seems just a touch juvenile, or are you aiming for the young adult readers? Just a couple of slight changes:

          dragonmedley wrote:

          Meeryle, a blooming chubby cook, and her friend Leena, an Apprentice-Healer are stuck in a rut and bored of their lives. That is, until the dragon came.

          However, the creature is not the ferocious carnivore they all expected, but a gentle giant caring for the most important part of their world, the forest. But in typical fashion, the mistrust of anything not human puts the life of the dragon – and the forest in which they live – in danger.

          That would be more than enough but Meeryle is also hiding a huge secret. Something that could save them all. If only she knew how.

          Can a seemingly ordinary cook and an insecure apprentice-Healer overcome their own differences and save their dragon friend – without losing everything?

          Leaves a little more mystery…I hope. Or is this too short? I’d be happy to read your manuscript if you think that would help.

          #666631

          getting published IS harder than writing the story. Expect to get turned down at least 3 or 4 times before succeeding. Don’t give up though, but don’t be too disappointed if you get rejected at first.

          The intro sounds interesting, only odd note was the mage not telling the healer thing, if they are best friends, why didn’t she tell her? Is magic looked on with suspicion among the people? Or did it just slip her mind as something of no importance until encountering the dragon?

          Is there any romance in this story?? I love a good fantasy mixed love story, adventure.

          Anyway, I would be interested in reading it. Good luck getting published.

          My best friend and roommate has been writing for years, he has done a couple self published books, but has yet to approach a publisher. Course he has a lot of editing, and plot fill in to do before he can really seriously consider it. His spelling and punctuation are poor, great story, but his english skills are lacking. And when I edit, I tend to try to fill in the gaps, basically adding to the story…which changes it…ooops.

          Perhaps I should talk him into doing a collaborative piece, he writes the base story, and between us we bulk it out. I’m good with interpersonal relationships and dialogue, he’s good with the general plot.

          Kyrin

          #666632
          dragonmedley
          Participant

            Yes, it is intended for the young adult market. I like how you changed some things, Jasmine… Thanks for your outlook. I’m so into this that I have a very hard time taking a step back.

            Kyrin, the entire thing about keeping the secret about being a mage is part of the plot. As for romance, not really. It wouldn’t have fit in with the characters at this point in their “life”. It’s basically the coming of age of two friends; they realize and accept who and what they are.

            And I already have been rejected… by agents and publishers. They don’t want the entire story, just a summary, and my summaries suck. Anywho, I’m not ready to give up on this story yet – I am working on something else too – so this is why I decided to ask the opinion of readers.

            Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
            http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
            I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
            http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

            #666633
            Purplecat
            Participant

              Keep trucking and dont give up, I would definately read your story, but the literature market is hard to break into. Hang in there. Keep going. Persistence pays. πŸ˜€

              #666634

              dragonmedley wrote:

              Yes, it is intended for the young adult market. I like how you changed some things, Jasmine… Thanks for your outlook. I’m so into this that I have a very hard time taking a step back.

              Kyrin, the entire thing about keeping the secret about being a mage is part of the plot. As for romance, not really. It wouldn’t have fit in with the characters at this point in their “life”. It’s basically the coming of age of two friends; they realize and accept who and what they are.

              And I already have been rejected… by agents and publishers. They don’t want the entire story, just a summary, and my summaries suck. Anywho, I’m not ready to give up on this story yet – I am working on something else too – so this is why I decided to ask the opinion of readers.

              If you can, I’d suggest getting a hold of a couple fantasy writers, I know Tanya Huff is a very nice lady and is very friendly. She might be able to give you advice on getting published. She is also from Canada. I don’t have her email just at the moment, but I could probably get it for you.

              Nice to have friends in the right places.

              Kyrin

              #666635
              Stephanie
              Participant

                I like the concept, but it does sound a little young. Are you familiar with Lulu? It’s self publishing done really well. I’m working on several projects to send to them. I haven’t gone through the full process yet of uploading and publishing, but I’ve read all their info and it sounds like a great way to get published without a publisher.

                #666636
                dragonmedley
                Participant

                  Kyrin wrote:

                  dragonmedley wrote:

                  Yes, it is intended for the young adult market. I like how you changed some things, Jasmine… Thanks for your outlook. I’m so into this that I have a very hard time taking a step back.

                  Kyrin, the entire thing about keeping the secret about being a mage is part of the plot. As for romance, not really. It wouldn’t have fit in with the characters at this point in their “life”. It’s basically the coming of age of two friends; they realize and accept who and what they are.

                  And I already have been rejected… by agents and publishers. They don’t want the entire story, just a summary, and my summaries suck. Anywho, I’m not ready to give up on this story yet – I am working on something else too – so this is why I decided to ask the opinion of readers.

                  If you can, I’d suggest getting a hold of a couple fantasy writers, I know Tanya Huff is a very nice lady and is very friendly. She might be able to give you advice on getting published. She is also from Canada. I don’t have her email just at the moment, but I could probably get it for you.

                  Nice to have friends in the right places.

                  Kyrin

                  I’d like that. You never know…

                  Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
                  http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
                  I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
                  http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

                  #666637
                  Jasmine
                  Participant

                    Michelle West is a wonderful writer and works at Bakka-Phoenix Books on Queen Street. I know that Tanya Huff used to work there as well. And there are posters up on their bulletin board for writers’ groups. It’s a great book store that is sci-fi/fantasy (in case you haven’t heard of it) and they also carry a lot of young adult fantasy too so you might want to check out what the blurbs on some of those books are like. Their website is:

                    http://www.bakkaphoenixbooks.com/

                    #666638
                    Jennifer
                    Keymaster

                      Jasmine wrote:

                      It seems just a touch juvenile, or are you aiming for the young adult readers? Just a couple of slight changes:

                      dragonmedley wrote:

                      Meeryle, a blooming chubby cook, and her friend Leena, an Apprentice-Healer are stuck in a rut and bored of their lives. That is, until the dragon came.

                      However, the creature is not the ferocious carnivore they all expected, but a gentle giant caring for the most important part of their world, the forest. But in typical fashion, the mistrust of anything not human puts the life of the dragon – and the forest in which they live – in danger.

                      That would be more than enough but Meeryle is also hiding a huge secret. Something that could save them all. If only she knew how.

                      Can a seemingly ordinary cook and an insecure apprentice-Healer overcome their own differences and save their dragon friend – without losing everything?

                      Leaves a little more mystery…I hope. Or is this too short? I’d be happy to read your manuscript if you think that would help.

                      This reads better and makes me more interested in the story. πŸ™‚

                      Volunteer mod- I'm here to help! Email me for the best response: nambroth at gmail.com
                      My art: featherdust.com

                      #666639
                      Heather
                      Participant

                        Based on the blurb, I would at least pick up the book and scan through the first chapter. Frequently the decision to buy a book or not depends on the writing style: the story has to be good, of course, but so does the storyteller’s “voice”. That said, there are books I hesitated to buy because I wasn’t wild about the author’s voice–case in point, C.J. Cherryh’s “Foreigner” series–then did buy the first book on a whim only to discover that I loved it. “Foreigner” had such a compelling story line that it made me roll up my sleeves and forge through the author’s somewhat opaque writing style. It made me realize that I’d been ignoring a really good author! πŸ˜† (And made me a little less finicky about the books I pick up to browse through. :))

                        Nothing wrong with books aimed at a younger audience. Some of my long-standing favorites, like Norton’s “Dragon Magic”, were written for a younger audience. πŸ™‚ I’m all for good dragon stories aimed at kids and young adults–catch ’em young!

                        #666640
                        Pegasi1978
                        Participant

                          From both blurbs I’d be interested in reading the book. But then I’m a sucker for fantasy anyway.

                          #666641
                          dragonmedley
                          Participant

                            pegasi1978 wrote:

                            From both blurbs I’d be interested in reading the book. But then I’m a sucker for fantasy anyway.

                            That just made my day πŸ˜€

                            Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
                            http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
                            I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
                            http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

                          Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
                          • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.