I guess it's my turn…

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    I know I haven’t been posting as much since getting divorced in August 2010, and that I’ve been almost non-existent on the forum since moving in with my fiance in May. In the August Raffle winner’s thread I mentioned the new little one. Here he is with his first Windstone, Redbow. (He was sound asleep and not twitching otherwise I wouldn’t have attempted it.)
    Vance was born August 30 at 1052am. He weighed 7 pounds and was 20 inches long.
    As of Vance’s one month check up, he was 7.4 pounds and 20.75 inches. He is a total sweetie, and quite a healing balm lately.

    On October 5, my father (seen below holding Vance) passed away very unexpectedly.
    On Sept. 24 my father went in for cardiac catheterization. They discovered that he had several arteries in his heart with quite a bit of blockages (most around 90%). He also had blockages in both femoral arteries and one leading to the his kidney. The doctors told him he needed to have stents put in, so the surgery was scheduled for Sept. 28, which just so happened to be his 65 birthday.

    He went in for the angioplasty and after quite a bit of time the doctor said “We’re sorry, we just can’t break the blockages up. You need to have double bypass surgery.” When we finally got the word that he was out of surgery, it ended up being triple bypass.

    Dad remained in CVICU (CardioVascular ICU) that weekend, because there were some IV medications that they wanted to have him weaned off before moving him to the cardiac recovery area. Things didn’t go well the first time they tried weaning him off the IV, so they waited 24 hours and tried again. The second time went better.

    Then there were problems with his heart rate not being steady, so they put in an external pacer lead some time on Monday. Once his clotting factor was good enough, the doctors put in an internal pacemaker on Wednesday. Late last Thursday afternoon he was finally moved out of CVICU.

    Last Friday morning (Oct. 5, my brother’s 10th wedding anniversary) his blood gasses were perfect. His younger brother came over to see him and had lunch with him and my mother. Then it was time for his afternoon walk (part of his recovery routine). After his walk, his blood gasses weren’t as good and according to mom he just didn’t look as good.

    My brother, his wife and their two girls (ages 8 and 6) went to the hospital to visit him around 5pm. They had changed their mind from waiting to visit until he was out of the hospital, which I had taken my cue from them and didn’t take my boys over after my oldest, Gavin at 7, got off the school bus. About 15 minutes later one of the nurses came in his room in a hurry and said “his vitals aren’t doing so well right now, please wait in the hall.” A few minutes later, they said “We’re taking him back down to CVICU.” They wheeled him out in the chair he had been sitting in, not taking the time to put him in a bed.

    My mother and my brother’s family found out when they got to the CVICU waiting room that they had to perform CPR on the way down. I got a call telling me to come out, so I call my fiance on his cell and tell him I’m going to pack up the boys and head out. After I get off with him, my mom calls again and says “You really need to come and bring Jep with you.” I call the front office and tell him what mom says. A few minutes later he’s at the house (we live less than 5 minutes from where he works).

    We head over to the hospital (a 45 minute drive) and head to the consultation room to wait. It’s getting later and later. The kids are all getting thirsty so one of the pastors from my parent’s church takes them to the vending machines to get something to drink. Then Vance tunes up for a diaper chance, so my fiance heads out to take care of that.

    While they are out of the room a doctor comes in. He asks “The wife?” and we all look at my mother. He says “I’m afraid I have bad news.” He tells us they did CPR on my father twice, gave him all the drugs they could try, even tried internal massage, but they could not get him back.

    We had been told all through this that my father’s heart was healthy, so they were are surprised that it just stopped like it did. We’ve opted for a full autopsy to have an answer to the questions. My mother and I wonder if maybe my father’s epilepsy might have somehow effected things with all the back to back procedures.

    The memorial service was Tuesday afternoon.

    Before Vance was born, we were trying to plan our wedding. All we wanted was a simple hand-fasting on Oct. 31. We’ve had to fire the officiator and both the best man and matron of honor have quit on us. The officiator would never meet up with us (after making plans to several times), then went bug nuts crazy, and stopped returning our calls. The one time we got her on the phone she hung up upon hearing “Was just calling to see how you were doing”. Someone else was hoping they could replace the original officiator, but they have other plans for the same day. They tried to get a replacement, but the replacement said they couldn’t do it when they found out where the wedding is going to be.

    We bought the best man’s shirt and dropped it off two months ago with a note asking if he would call and tell us if it fit. No word yet (and we’ve called a few times asking about it) so we’re considering him out.

    The matron of honor says she is going through some things and just can’t be happy standing up there for us (even though she’s happy for us getting married).

    We’ve finally got an officiator (my fiance’s mother’s minister, a Methodist). I called before lunch Oct. 5 to set up an appointment to meet with him on Monday morning. After my father passed, there was a small part that wanted to put off the meeting, but we’re running out of time so we went either way. We explained what had happened with the previous officiators and also what happened after I talked to him on Friday.

    While we were talking with him I had noticed he had a picture of a black plane landing with chutes deployed. I thought it looked familiar, but in my fatigue from the weekend I couldn’t place it. As we were standing up to leave my fiance looks at it and asks “You were a SR pilot?” The Reverend says yes, and I suddenly knew where I knew the plane. It was an SR-71 Blackbird and I grew up staring at a model of it….a model that my father had built because he liked to build models of the things that they would build parts for at the plants he worked at. So we’re taking it as a sign that Dad’s saying he’s the one whose supposed to do this for you.

    Needless to say it’s been lots of ups and downs since I went on Maternity Leave and a part of me isn’t want to go back to work on Monday, but we really need the money. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t get to respond too much, I don’t have much in the way of internet access, and don’t expect to for a while longer.


    Oh dear, what heartbreak! To have an amazing and wonderful event such as the birth of your beautiful son be followed by so much pain. I’m sorry for what you’re going through just doesn’t cover it. 🙁


    I’m so sorry. Having a baby is hard (a joyful hard, but hard none the less!)

    Losing your father with little warning is impossibly painful. I’m still stitching closed the wounds.

    Doing both in such a short time is unimaginable. 🙁

    Do whatever you need to do and be well. Our thoughts are with you.


    I’m so sorry to hear this! *hugs* 🙁


    Your son is beautiful! Congratulations.
    I am so sorry to hear about your father. *hugs* it sounds like he is still watching over everyone.


    I’m so sorry, Pegasi… I want to squeal with delight at the cuteness of your little one (lookit that frown!) and cry at the same time.

    Big hugs!

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    I’m so sorry, Pegasi… I want to squeal with delight at the cuteness of your little one (lookit that frown!) and cry at the same time.

    Big hugs!

    this… what a terribly grueling experience you’re having, I wish you didn’t have to endure all that. Many hugs and prayers for you and your family.




    Congrats on your beautiful baby and heartfelt huggs for the loss of your father. It is difficult to lose someone we love so much and makes us want to hold those we’ve been blessed with closer to our hearts.


    Awww…I’m so sorry, I am just sitting here in tears. What a combination of good & bad things all at once. I am so happy your little one arrived safely, he is adorable. And I am so saddened at the loss of your father. That has to be so hard, especially with your wedding so soon. I wish there was something I could do to help. Meantime, hang in there, I hope you have a lovely handfasting & that despite everything else that has happened that that day is a joyful & fulfilling one. Hugs!


    Just not a good year . Well good things happen with the bad . Blessings to you and yours .


    Hugs! 🙁

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    Oh, Pegasi… you have my sincere condolences. Prayers and blessings to you. HUGS!


    Pegasi, I am so happy for your little blessing, and so sorry for the loss of your dad. On top of that, with all of the drama of those people bailing on you. 🙁 *HUGS* I really pray it gets better from here on out, and I hope your first week back at work went well.

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