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Maybe it’s because there is such a huge difference between the way our parents were raised and the way we were raised. Our society is much more accepting now of other cultures and abilities.
Not that it is acceptable that your mother should ever express the fact that she disliked your husband. And even if she did, she should never have told you. I think she wants to be the center of your world and since Danny intruded, she’s going to bad mouth him.
Be happy with your family!! You have a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby. Take joy in that and just ignore your mother.
That’s an awful horrid thing she did, no two ways about it.
Unfortunately, it looks like she’s just going to give you more guff until you stand up to her.
You should make it clear that you are sorry that she cannot respect your life decisions, but they were your choices to make, and she is making you miserable over them. Additionally, if she wishes to remain an active part of your family, then she needs to be silenced about her prejudices, no matter how ingrained they be, because you have a right to be happy and content with your life’s choices, no matter what she thinks about them.
It takes a lot of courage to take that particular stance (been there, done that, have the T-shirt.), but it might shock her into having a bit more respect and empathy towards your feelings. This is your life, after all. She needs to respect that.
PD, she’s wacked, among other things that I cannot say on here. She really sounds like someone who is horribly unhappy and wants to drag everyone else down to her level. Don’t let her. You are blessed with your wonderful, supportive husband and a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Count your blessings, and cut your losses. Obviously your mom isn’t going to be a healthy influence on anyone, especially Alyssa. I say that if she can’t cut the crap and be a civil human being, you should keep her away from your happy life. Best of luck!
Did your mother ever lose a loved one to illness, cancer, or just plain old age? It happens to everyone, but some people are so traumatized by that loss that they refuse to bond with anybody who seems the slightest bit unwell. They’re terrified of being hurt that way again. But of course they only end up hurting themselves, because nobody is perfectly healthy . . . so they end up isolating themselves from everyone, and loving few or none.
Even if your mom does have some horrible loss in her history, that doesn’t excuse her behavior (on SO many levels 😡 ) and I sure don’t want you to think I’m supporting her hurtful actions and words. She has been a fool to say and do the things she has done to you and Danny. A tragic fool, maybe, but still a fool. In order to regain any respect for her side of things, she first has to realize that what she’s been doing is wrong and counterproductive. Like PT and Blackdesertwind have said, she has to recognize her mistake and want to correct it. Until then, she is a toxic influence.
You have a wonderful husband and the child you have both wanted for so long. Focus on them. It is perfectly OK to refuse to engage when your mother says something nasty or wants to start a fight. You just refuse to respond the way she wants you to. Don’t get excited or upset. Tell her that you won’t talk about that, and if she presses you, walk away. Turn your energies towards Danny and Alyssa, who are good for you, and don’t waste energy on anything hurtful. Believe me, with a new baby in the home, you’re going to need all the energy you’ve got to keep her happy! 😆
Sometimes you just have to tell you family to “stuff it”. You have your new baby and your husband and your health.
You can’t change your mom, you can only live with it, cut her out of the picture, ignore her or set limits on how aften you communicate with her.
I am glad Danny is standing up for you! You don’t let her make you feel bad! You have too many good things in your life to let her make you miserable.
Congrats again on the new baby!
It’s great that you have Danny there for you, Purpledoggy 🙂 , But I’m sorry your Mom acts the way she does, that was a horrible thing she said!
Congrats again on your baby 😀 !
What a horrible person!! That is so wrong for someone to say something like that. People like that irritate me like crazy (sorry, I know she’s your mom). I’m sorry she said that. You are lucky to have a family now!!! You are very happy!! Who is your mom to judge who YOU love??? grrrr. You are lucky to have a man like danny and now a new baby!!
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