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My mom sent me an email tonight (one of a zillion she sends me every night) and in it she told me why she hated my husband. All this time I figured it was because of his attitude. He has a very in your face attitude and he will not hold back his feelings. Most everyone that deals with my mom will say whatever she wants to hear but not my husband. Well my mom told me she hated him because he is so sick. My husband always told me thats why she didn’t like him but I didn’t believe it. I thought she could look past that but then again I should have known better. She once made fun of my friends mentally handicapped sister. She said if that was her kid she would have killed her and made fun of her when she was sitting on the floor rocking back and forth. She said she would just put a rock between her legs and let her bash her head on the rock and end herself. Of course after the look I gave her she said “oh I’m just kidding” but WTH why would you say suck a thing? Now I’m upset that she couldn’t look past my husbands illness and only now that she thinks he is cured of his disease does she come out and say these things. I want to say something to her but I know it will do no good. I’m at the point that I want to demand she get treatment for whatever mental illness she obviously suffers from. She only gets worse with time and I’m sick of the emotional drain she has become. Your supposed to want to talk to your mom and spend time with her but I just find myself wanting to avoid her. That is just wrong.
purpledoggy wrote:She once made fun of my friends mentally handicapped sister. She said if that was her kid she would have killed her and made fun of her when she was sitting on the floor rocking back and forth. She said she would just put a rock between her legs and let her bash her head on the rock and end herself.
😯 Wow
Thing is, help in the form of therapy or the like, wont help unless the person wants it and admits they need it. If she rails against her illness which she likely doesnt believe she has, then no amount of therapy will work. You have to give to get and I dont see that in your mom at present.
Im so sorry she is such a drain on you. My mom and I are very close and we think a lot of the same ways, even if some of it is out there, we understand each other. But at least she keeps her far out opinions to herself in front of others. Plus, she’d never act on anything; shes too gentle and likes to maintain harmony at any cost.
In a way, it’s a blessing that your husband has such a strong personality. It will help to shield him from the barbs of his mother in law, and, perhaps it may wake up your mom to seeing she has a problem. We can hope but in any event, it’s good that your hubby is strong willed. Support one another and you guys will be fine. If you and mom got along like sisters and hubby had a problem with her, that might be of issue. But it seems you and hubby are on the same team in this case.
I do hope that things will eventually settle and get better for you both. Never lose hope, for sometimes it’s all we have.
I’m so lucky to have my husband. He has always been there for me and shields me alot from my mom. I’ve never had to rely on someone as much as I have right now. He has been very protective over me and the baby and put his foot down with my mom more then once when she wanted to bring her entire family up to visit me the day after I delivered. He told her I was exhausted and I needed my rest and a bunch of people coming up was not a good idea. He also answers the phone when she calls a couple times a day and refuses to wake me up to talk to her (which she always tries to get him to do).
I’m glad for you that you have Danny!! Though I am very sorry for you that you have such a mother, I’m more than a little off and evil but…. Umm yeah…
Yay For Danny!!! Yay for Alyssa!!! Yay for YOU!!!
Mos def!! Count your blessings… your mother is apparently not one of them. 😕 Thats really twisted.
Lupin wrote:Yay For Danny!!! Yay for Alyssa!!! Yay for YOU!!!
I agree! You should let go and look forward. You have a great little family now, that’s what matters.
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmYou want to avoid her because she’s hurting you. Avoid her. You have alot to be happy about and she’s the type of person who cant stand that.
WOW Sounds like she is the one with the mental handicap. It’s a shame you have to put up with her or even have her around – can you bar her from your house? It’s great that you have Danny around to step up to her
Like Dragon Medley said
Yay For Danny!!! Yay for Alyssa!!! Yay for YOU!!!
I agree. You have a NEW family of your own now. Let your childhood family members in that are conducive and ban the others. Look forward, not back. Do not let frustration or regret or whatever, interrupt this wonderful and ONLY time you will have with Alyssa and Danny. Even if you have another child, Alyssa is special, first born to a new mama.
If you find your mom is too draining on you and is interrupting your lives, either you or Danny (or both together as a team) tell her point blank (or over the phone or in a letter), that unless she is calm and loving and obeys the rules in YOUR home, she isnt allowed to visit the baby. If she causes you stress, believe me, it is transferring to the baby. Speaking as one who suffers from an Anxiety Disorder, you want as much harmony in your home as soon as possible so she grows up confident and unafraid. Her unconscious will remember voices from her infancy. If grandma isnt mellow and sweet, then boot her from seeing her grand child. Maybe that will knock some proper sense and respect into her.
It must be nice for your Mom to be “perfect” and look down her nose at others. *humf* As others have said, concentrate on your wonderful Danny and Alyssa and limit your contact with your Mom, if possible.
I am really happy that you have Danny to be there for you. I don’t understand why she would hate him for being sick. It’s not like it’s his fault, and it is certainly not something to hate him over.
This is what came to mind after reading why your mom never liked your husband from day one:
I know what your mother said to you sounds heartless but did you ever think that maybe she said this because she would have prefered someone healthy for you so if you would get sick that person could take care of you…just a thought.
😕 But after reading more things she did and said in your other threads I don’t know maybe she need to change her way of thinking about people in general.
I feel real bad for you. Thank god you have Danny and for your love together. You both support each other and where I come from I don’t see much like that. Congrats again on your new life and enjoy every moment together. 😀I can understand her not wanting me to marry someone with a terminal illness but after 9 years of marriage why still hate them? Why now after he had his transplant is it ok for me to be with him now? I don’t know I guess I will never understand. The thing I don’t get is how I ended up with the outlook on life that I have seeing how she raised me. I don’t look at peoples illness/differences but thats all she does. If you are not her version of perfect you are not worth talking to. If I was raised that way then why do I not share those same beliefs? I know she told my brother how she tried to raise us right but she must have failed. All I can think is “Thank God” because I don’t want to be her version of right lol. Its funny because I really should be upset today with everything that has happened (my car getting messed up, my mom’s stupid email) but I’m happy and content as can be. I like this feeling and haven’t felt it in a long time 🙂
😀 Good for you! You have learned to put that aside and go on living your life without letting her jugement affect you so much. We should all learn from that and let some stuff go in order to be happy with ourselves. You have a new family and that is your husband and child, that’s all that counts.
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