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Well, it’s true! 😀 And it’s that time of year I want to be spreading around warm fuzzies all around *throws fuzzies in the air for all*
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Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry DragonsI lOVE warm fuzzies too but we have to remember there are some topics that will end up real heated no matter what happens or how much we say we are friends. I’m not sure how to figure out which ones they are but I just know they are out there. Every one has different feelings how can we make sure nto to have explosive topics???
I think just a little polite honestly.
Saying “Hey, guys, I don’t want to discuss this particular topic” politely is a good way to head off arguments, I’d think.
SPark wrote:While we’re on the subject, do you think it’s appropriate to post about personal issues? We’ve a wonderful sense of community here, and I know a lot of people have posted about things in their lives. But I kinda feel, in hindsight, that posting about my current woes may have been inappropriate. I’m not sure where the line is, though. I really, really, really don’t want to offend anybody, but I seem to have managed to anyhow, and I’d like to avoid doing that in the future, if I can, but I really am not sure what is and isn’t appropriate. I’m just feeling uncertain, I guess.
I didn’t have a problem with you posting your personal issues. But it’s good to consider the risk to yourself as much as the risk to those reading the post. As i briefly mentioned in your thread, when you post on a medium like a messageboard, which is dedicated to discussion, you are basically inviting people to discuss the topics you bring up and you cannot really control what exactly people will say in response to your post. Obviously some things can be discouraged, such as flaming, but it’s good to keep that uncertainty in mind if you are going to feel negatively about posts that don’t adhere to whatever goal you had with posting your thoughts.
In a sense, i think you are correct that if you are just looking for somewhere to vent to a sympathetic ear, your private blog may be a better place since there will probably be more people who are more readily sympathetic to your problems. We get along pretty well on this bbs but i think we are also fairly new to each other overall, so people’s reactions to the venting of others may be more distanced, which i think is perfectly reasonable for people to do when faced with incomplete information.
A very good point. *nods*
Honestly, if something like this came up again, I’d probably leave it on my blog. Not because it’s not appropriate here, but just because, as you said, just venting isn’t what this forum is for, and people are going to comment, and discuss it, and that’s not really what I was after in the first place.
Not that I mind the comments and discussions, I don’t. They’re just not really serving any purpose, given that I wasn’t looking for suggestions or help with the situation.
Dragon Master wrote:I lOVE warm fuzzies too but we have to remember there are some topics that will end up real heated no matter what happens or how much we say we are friends. I’m not sure how to figure out which ones they are but I just know they are out there. Every one has different feelings how can we make sure nto to have explosive topics???
LOL besides politics and religion, it can be hard to anticipate what topics will turn into a brawl. I’ve seen people flame each other over pet ownership, knitting, any fandom under the sun (tv, movies, anime, toys), you name it.
My thought is that the best bet is to just encourage people to remain respectful regardless of their negative reaction to a post and if necessary warn those who cannot control themselves with temporary or permanent bannings. It’s very rare that it has to come to that but i’ve found the three strikes system tends to work best and sometimes it does have to be used.
SPark wrote:A very good point. *nods*
Honestly, if something like this came up again, I’d probably leave it on my blog. Not because it’s not appropriate here, but just because, as you said, just venting isn’t what this forum is for, and people are going to comment, and discuss it, and that’s not really what I was after in the first place.
Not that I mind the comments and discussions, I don’t. They’re just not really serving any purpose, given that I wasn’t looking for suggestions or help with the situation.
I understand, sometimes you really do just need to get something off your chest ^_^
sunhawk wrote:Dragon Master wrote:I lOVE warm fuzzies too but we have to remember there are some topics that will end up real heated no matter what happens or how much we say we are friends. I’m not sure how to figure out which ones they are but I just know they are out there. Every one has different feelings how can we make sure nto to have explosive topics???
LOL besides politics and religion, it can be hard to anticipate what topics will turn into a brawl. I’ve seen people flame each other over pet ownership, knitting, any fandom under the sun (tv, movies, anime, toys), you name it.
My thought is that the best bet is to just encourage people to remain respectful regardless of their negative reaction to a post and if necessary warn those who cannot control themselves with temporary or permanent bannings. It’s very rare that it has to come to that but i’ve found the three strikes system tends to work best and sometimes it does have to be used.
I would HOPE that banning would never have to happen hereDragon Master wrote:I would HOPE that banning would never have to happen here
Oh i doubt it will come to that with anyone but those who join bbses just to spam and troll, banning as i’ve experienced moderating tends to happen very very infreqently. But sometimes people either need to be reminded or just need a time out if a thread goes… nuclear 😉
I dont know what flaming is so could someone enlighten me?
Also, I personally like when people post personal issues here. I, for one, dont have too many friends over here anymore. They are all either deployed or have moved, so you guys are the folks I talk to most…dang thats kinda sad…but anyway… The only problem I had with Sparks post was that, if she wasnt looking for either advice or comments, it should have been posted in an on line diary or something, not where real people will read and feel compelled to respond.
skigod377 wrote:I dont know what flaming is so could someone enlighten me?
Flaming is when people decide to insult other people on a forum/mailing list/etc by using personal attacks, strawmen arguments or attempts to in some way discredit the other person by underhanded means. Usually capslock and a breakdown of typing skills is involved in some fashion – “U SUCK!!!” – but sometimes people can write fairly intelligent but cruel posts to the same effect.
My favourite example of extreme flaming is from another forum i used to mod where a user decided to create multiple threads entitled “SUNHAWK IS A [female dog]!!!!” and “GET BENT SUNHAWK!!!!!” 😆
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