You paid with paypal, only except a refund via paypal. She’s skirting several of ebay’s rules and to not want to send your refund via paypal is super fishy. I’d contact paypal, if nothing else so that you do get your refund (and are protected), and so that she knows that she is breaking multiple rules. Doesn’t sound like she’s breaking them by accident either. You tried to be nice and give her benefit of the doubt in the beginning and be fair, but now she just sounds shady.