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Many of you may recall a year and a half ago I suffered blood clots in both lungs due to my having used Ortho Evra Birth control patches. Since then I have not been allowed to use hormonal BC and my husband and I were trying hard not to get pregnant via the usual methods…condoms, jellys, withdrawal, etc. Well, we failed, and I ended up pregnant, and my-OUR-world changed forever.
Regardless of the fact that I never wanted to personally ever bear children (leaned more on adoption like, 5 years from now), now I am faced with it, and also faced with giving up my artistic career for good, since I can’tpossibly have a child and do art. But worst of all I am a high risk pregnancy due to my former blood clots, and because of this, now two months into the pregnancy, they put me on Lovenox.
I find out most things about my medical conditions now over the internet. I trust no one to tell me anything. I research it all. I found out about Lovenox…and my dearies let me tell you what a shock it was to discover they were INJECTIONS you must give to yourself every single day IN YOUR STOMACH, to thin the blood. It’s the only safe blood thinner to use during pregnancy.
I have had many many days of phone tag with doctors, doctor visits totaling 3-4 times a week, problems with insurance, and just overall depression about my situation. I don’t believe in abortion personally, so we will have this baby and try to keep it healthy. So now I must take these expensive injections (2 grand per month before insurance, about $500 per month afterwards) every day.
For one not afraid of needles and able to tolerate a decent amount of pain and of course my tattoo, the first belly injection hurt like hell. It was all I could do not to wince and cry, which made my whole body shake. The injection took only about 30 seconds but as she injected (to teach me how) I felt the burning sensation Lovenox users spoke about…and it just felt like it was getting worse by the second, like a fireball about to blister through the skin and explode…as she did it so slow, which you’re supposed to do. I just wanted the damn needle out of me. When she took it out I bled, and the burning continued. I was told to continue to inject at different sites, in a smiley-face pattern about an inch below my belly button, and to go back and forth even over brusing. This would be my daily from from now until about 2 months after the baby is born.
I tried to hold my composure as they gave me a bio-hazard disposal box and I slowly made my way to my car. I had to stop walking twice, and the car was only about 20 yards away. The pain was incredible, and by now I was in tears, and panting very hard. I slowly got into the car and started to drive, and neausa hit me. I tried to keep driving, but I quickly pulled into a parking lot and tried to make it to the grass but I collapsed in the snow and just threw up everywhere.
Eventually I got back up, ate some snow, and got back in the car to drive home. The burning finally stopped…about 20 minutes after the shot. And I’ve dreaded taking them again.
However Imust, for my life and the baby’s, as a blood clot would hurt or kill us. So now I inject myself…but I do it fast so I don’t feel as much pain. It’s better, and I don’t bleed or vomit now, but again since I don’t really feel the baby inside me, I am ashamed to say I feel indifferent towards it, and I am so unmaternal I know nothing about raising a child. I need to look and see if they have a Babies for Dummies book because I only just found out what a baby wipe is used for.
But I wanted to keep the forum updated about my condition since I know a lot of you do care. I also am still continuing to do art for the Anatomy of a Werewolf book, which will be my last endeavor before the baby is born. You can see a bunch of images I just posted for it on-line…here: http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/watergazer/
Anyway, thanks in advance for your support!
I had to give my husband lovenox injections when he developed a blood clot in his neck from a pic line. I was told I could give them to him in either his stomach or the fatty part of his upper arm. He opted for me to give it to him in his arm so we would rotate arms every day. I also didn’t give it to him slow but just like a regular iv push. I think I still have a box or two of the meds left around here somewhere as well. He went into the hospital and they took him off the lovenox right before his transplant so he doesn’t need it now. I know he said it always burned but over time it got better. You may want to ask your doctor if you can inject in your arm instead of your stomach since it doesn’t hurt as bad. If you have any questions you can pm me or reply here. Also if you would like to talk to my husband (since he is the one who took the injections) I can give you his email address or make him sign up on the forum.
Edit: I sent you a pm so if you reply I’m going out for a bit but I will get back to you later.
I was told this is the only place I can inject until my belly gets too large from the baby and no skin fat remains I can pinch to stick the full needle into. Then, I am allowed to inject into my thighs but I hear that hurts far worse! You’re lucky you can do it in the arm. I was on a forum for Lovenox users who were pregnant and none of us can do it in the arm, just belly and thighs.
Also, if anyone is from Canada, can you tell me the list price of 30mg of Lovenox given twice a day (so 60mg total daily?). I just want to be morbidly curious.
This is all very depressing, but I will do artwork up until I can no longer do it, when the baby is born. I’m having issues also with my OB right now because she wont answer some of my pressing questions…like when I need to be induced. Since being on Lovenox disaalows you from using an epidural (you could get paralysed for life) or having surgery like a C-Section while awake (you could maybe do it if they completely knocked you out but you could still bleed out), I feel it’s important for me to have a planned birth but she tells me not to worry at all and wait until labor hits to make the call but by then it’s too damn late because Lovenox takes 24-48 hours to get out of your system. That and every woman in my family had C-Sections after some painful 20-hour some labors but she says my family history doesn’t mean anything and they plan to proceed like normal…I can’t CHOOSE to have a C-Section or be induced. The doctors around here give me the damn run around and if it were not for the internet I’d be so uninformed!
Did the doctors take your husband off Lovenox in enough time to give him the surgery? Did they switch him to Heparin?
Im sorry you are going thru this. Dont feel bad about not feeling maternal. I didnt feel that way until 6 months after Justin was born. Some dont ever get the feeling. I would probably feel resentment if I were in your situation, but I hope any bad feelings you have will pass. Sorry about the shots, too. That really bites. 😕 Congrats on the baby, even though it was unplanned.
Sorry to hear about the injections.
I’ve had to take Lovenox for a surrogacy I did. Yes, they burned, but it gets better. All the bruising is what surprised me. Nothing like a black and blue smiley face on your tummy!
I tried my arm, and also the inside of my thighs, but found the tummy is really the easiest and least painful.As far as the unplanned pg, I totally connect with what you are feeling. Babies really aren’t my thing unless I can hand it back to the parents.
PM me if you would like to chat.They took my husband off the lovenox shots a few days before they listed him for transplant. They decided to switch him to heparin since that can be reversed where the lovenox can’t. The heparin was not working for him and the specialist that where working on him wanted to put him back on lovenox which would have taken him off the transplant list. If your ob is not answering your questions I would find another ob. Its better to switch now then when you are really far along. Its important to have a doctor that will answer any questions you have and that you feel comfortable with. I would try a shot in your thigh and see if its any better for you. You may like it better or it may hurt worse but give it a try and see.
Is there any chance of changing to a new OB-GYN? The doctor should be making it easier for you – not tougher. My sister was a high risk pregnancy and moved during it. So she asked a nurse she met for a recommendation. Nurses know which doctors are the best. You might try asking a nurse.
I’d say it was totally normal not to feel maternal right now. You are under a lot of stress not to mention physical discomfort. Like Ski said it might take months to feel differently.
Good luck. I’ll be pulling for you.
If possible, I’d look for another OB. It’s far easier to do it now than later (and if it’s too late, some would not take you). She sounds like an idiot. Family history can too affect what will happen to you. Is it guaranteed? No, but don’t just ignore it. I think her patient-soothing skills need some work. Besides, even if you look beyond that, deliveries are unpredictable… you NEVER know when you’re going to have to do an emergency caesarian. I’d want an OB that would want to err on the side of caution and plan an inducement (as long as Baby doesn’t spoil the plan by coming early) so that you can do whatever can be done to still work on preventing clots, yet prevent bleed-out too. Your safety, and the baby’s safety, is FAR more important that your OB’s need to feel like she can’t be wrong. Good luck with everything!
ddvm wrote:Is there any chance of changing to a new OB-GYN? The doctor should be making it easier for you – not tougher. My sister was a high risk pregnancy and moved during it. So she asked a nurse she met for a recommendation. Nurses know which doctors are the best. You might try asking a nurse.
I’d say it was totally normal not to feel maternal right now. You are under a lot of stress not to mention physical discomfort. Like Ski said it might take months to feel differently.
Good luck. I’ll be pulling for you.
I agree. Nurses are very picky about Physicians and other health care providers. If you know a Nurse or Nurse Practitioner or even a Nurse Midwife. They should be able to give you some advice about who to see.
If you like your OB, then great, but with you being high risk you should get at least two opinnions. You should also be seeing someone who specializes in this kind of high risk pregnancy. You do have the right to make choices and plan ahead. Do not let anyone take the choice away from you! You should have a doctor that you trust and feel good about.
Lovenox and other blood thinners are nasty drugs to deal with, even if you weren’t pregnant. I am guessing you were on Coumadin prior to this, which is also a nasty drug.
Good luck, I hope you start feeling better! I am sorry for all of this to be happening to you, but hopefully things will improve.
I am 37 and don’t have any kids either. I love kids, but did Pediatrics for 8 years, so I really don’t know if I could handle little people 24 hours a day. My pets are my children. So I completely sympathize with you. I am sure as you get farther along you will naturally feel more maternal. Nature, God, whatever you believe in, instills that maternal instinct in most mommas, no matter if it is a cat or a dog or a human.
As a fellow artist, I want you to know that you do not have to give up your art just because you have a child. I have 2, and I still do art, though not as much as I did before they came into my life. It is possible, you just set the time aside for when baby is sleeping, just make sure you set a timer so you rest a bit too before baby wakes up. Your time will be limited and you won’t be able to do as much art, but you can still find time.
As they get older and less dependant you will be able to go back to your previous levels. Talk to Caribou, she went through this “I didn’t plan a child” thing 7 years ago. She will understand exactly how you are feeling right now and would be a good person to talk to.
I am sorry you have to take the injections. I hope as time goes on it will get easier. I hope also that as your pregnancy continues and you can feel this child move your feelings will change and you will feel happier about this.
What I’m saying here is that everything happens for a reason, we may not understand it when it happens, but later the reason will become clear. Try not to think of this child as the ruin of your life, he/she isn’t. This is the start of a new adventure, and trust me, despite all the crap you are going through now and labor itself, it is very worth it!
Anyway, I hope you feel more positive about this pregnancy soon. Meanwhile, hang in there and take care. *hugs*
Kyrin
Also, maybe they dont want to plan a date yet cuz they are not positive how far along you are. Maybe as your baby developes, they can come to a date that is most near full term. Its just a guess, but a good one, since determining how far along you are this early is hard. Do find someone who makes you comfortable, but I wouldnt write this nurse off so quick. Maybe you are just in a stressful situation and she is adding to your frustration.
I’m sorry to read about your troubles. I’m 34 and I’m not sure I ever want children. I love my niece and nephew to death but not sure I could handle a young one 24/7. But you never know, just cause you don’t feel maternal now doesn’t mean that you will never feel that way. I don’t know anything about the injections so I can’t help you there. I’m in Canada but since it’s Sunday, most of the pharmacies are closed. Sorry.
I’m sorry to hear about the injections and stress you are facing. I’m only 21, but I have had a number of people around me have unplanned, unexpected and unwanted pregnancies, so I have some understanding of how you must feel.
I just wanted to say that just because you have a child doesn’t mean you can’t do art. My mother and my aunt both had three children each, and they continued to paint, craft, sew and knit throughout our entire childhoods. Granted, while my mother had three children under the age of 5 she didn’t do nearly as much creative work as before, but it never stopped her. She taught us all how to craft along with her, she made us the most wonderful Halloween costumes and clothing, and she is the reason I paint today. Basically she adapted, and I’m sure you will too. Don’t give up hope 🙂
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