Anxiety

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  • #1540789
    Kujacker
    Participant

      (apologizes if this double posts)
      Hi everyone.

      Wondering if anyone here deals with anxiety? I have severe general and social anxiety. People scare me. Talking to people scare me. Eye contact makes me nervous. Driving makes me nervous. Going outside can cause almost a full blown panic attack because the sun (and heat/warm weather) terrifies me.
      I’m at my “wits end” as they say, because all I’m doing to manage isn’t doing anything at all. You’d think I was dying with what I take daily to try and manage (though I wish I actually was dying. Would be best). Here’s my list of herbs I’m taking: Holy basil, Ashwaganda, Ashwaganda/Ginkgo combo, Bacopa, Gotu Kola, Neem, GABA, L-Theanine, Kava kava, sometimes valarian and passion flower, and numerous mixed pills for mood, stress and or/anxiety. I put tinctures and “rescue remedy” into all my teas daily, and I use those rescue remedy pastilles.

      Even with all I listed, and I’m sure I missed some, I still can barely function most days. In fact yesterday I had a total breakdown that lasted several hours and only got mildly better after I slept for awhile. Today I went home early from work because of how crippling my anxiety has been today. I even bought these weird “calm” chocolates that has magnesium, L-theanine and chamomile in them. I ate the whole box (which was apparently two doses) and it did absolutely nothing for me.
      I’ve even had to take time out at work sometimes just to sit in the office to try and compose myself. It doesn’t much help, and sitting and crying and/or hyperventilating at work doesn’t really make you feel better.

      Excluding pharmaceuticals, as I don’t have insurance and getting hooked on pills with side effects isn’t exactly what I want, does anyone have any idea that might help? Something that helps for you that I could try?
      I know they say to avoid caffeine, which is fine. I hate coffee, but if you take my tea away, that’s all that’s holding me together. I mostly drink green or herbal, so low caffeine, but I do generally have one cup of black tea a day. I don’t drink soda either. So in general, very very low caffeine consumption. Also some of my teas are herbal that supposedly help anxiety.
      I know people say “do what you love” well, I can’t. Unfortunately I don’t have a horse, and even if I did I live somewhere where it’d be serious abuse to ride at this time of the year. I use to take classes, english, a long time ago, but I’ve only found one place nearby that offers lessons currently… but they don’t have prices listed on their website… and using a phone will cause a full panic attack for me, so calling isn’t an option.
      I don’t enjoy anything else. Literally, I do not. I don’t have hobbies and my life includes going to work, maybe playing video games, and sleeping.
      My ferrets use to be a huge support for me and my anxiety/depression, but I don’t have any anymore and after how my last three died a horrific death, I will never, EVER, have a ferret again so long as I live where I do, or anywhere warm. I know people tell me it wasn’t my fault, but I’ll never forgive myself for it. Until I can live somewhere where I don’t need AC, or at least direly, I will never have a ferret again. I’m told I have some form of PTSD due to what happened to them. I now avoid talking or thinking about ferrets, or even looking at pictures of ferrets, because I just lose it. Having issues now as I type.
      I live somewhere where I can’t even go outside for a walk. Besides the fact that I have a phobia of the sun, and the heat just makes it impossible to leave the house, especially now, but really all year round except for December and early January.

      I know most of my issues are due to the heat, the weather, and the sun. My depression and anxiety go insane once it starts getting warmer, which where I live, it’s warm from February to December. Well I can’t exactly move, because that costs money, so I have to try and manage… but the older I get the worse off I am and I’m just done. So if anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate it. If not, I understand. No one knows how to deal with me or my issues. I’ve lost contact with a lot of people because of it. People also just say “oh, it’ll get better” and no, it won’t. And I hate when people say that.
      No, I don’t want to talk to a therapist. Phones are an issue for me, and talking to a stranger, that just sits and stares at you, or assigns stupid homework that doesn’t help with anything, never helped me in the past, so I’d rather not waste my money on it again.

      I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to reply to this. I’m just hoping someone might have some experience in similar issues that might give me some help to deal with life.
      Thanks everyone.

      #1540807
      GardenNinja
      Participant

        I’m going to suggest something counter-intuitive. You’re taking such a cocktail of things, many of which do not have solid testing to show they work, I’d recommnend tapering off most of them. I don’t know about anxiety, but one herbal remedy for depression has science behind it: St. Johns Wort. It is recommended by doctors quite a bit in Europe, including in Germany. Germany has (had?) some of the strictest laws in the world about drug testing, as a result of the thalidomide horror. Since American companies are opposed to research into substances they can’t patent, try to find non-American sources on google, especially from Europe or Canada. If I have time this evening, I will try googling German sources – I can read enough to tell if it is worth putting parts I don’t understand into a machine (free) translator.

        My keyboard is broken. I keep pressing "Escape", but I'm still here.

        #1540809
        tig3r06
        Participant

          Kujacker, I’m going to pm you.

          #1540810
          merrillannwhite
          Participant

            I agree with GardenNinja about the meds.  Some can counteract each other.  I also know regular good exercise is good for depression, and I would think it would be good for anxiety as well.  If you can find a workout that is tough enough to make your mind focus on it instead of other things, it would give it a break and exercise produces helpful hormones.  If it is too hot outside, maybe you could find a good inside workout video or something.  Yoga can also relieve stress.  starting with a video class and then working up to a live class might be a good way to get used to being in a group in a non-threatening environment.  I am not a doctor, and I know insurance is a problem, but it would still be good to ask a doctor for advice.  You might also talk to a pharmacist about the meds and herbs.  A full pharmacist often knows more about the side effects and interactions of such things than a doctor because that is their speciality, and your local pharmacist would probably give you that information for free.

            I hope some of this helps.

            #1540814
            Kujacker
            Participant

              @GardenNinja I don’t take all those listed on a daily basis. I have a few I take daily, but the rest are either at certain times or if I’m feeling like I need a boost etc But see, holy basil and ashwaganda actually DID help me… until the weather got warmer than 80 degrees, then everything went out the window.
              I actually have taken St John’s Wort in the past. I don’t feel like it did anything honestly. It also increases skin damage, and the idea of getting a tan scares the heck out of me. Even if it’s 120 degrees out, I’m in a hoodie with the hood up, gloves, umbrella, and sunscreen sunscreen sunscreen.
              I am, however, always open to “non-conventional” ideas. In America it’s all about the money.


              @merrillannwhite
              I’ve actually heard that yoga can make anxiety worse, since it allows your brain to drift, and you can go back to issues bothering you. I’m not against it, or exercise (indoor), and I constantly want to plug in the Wii for WiiFit… but then I’d have to go outside and buy batteries.
              I’ve never been to a class of any sort in a group environment. No matter how “non threatening” it is, the idea that I can’t just quit when I’m done really puts me off… I don’t think leaving in the middle of a lesson would be a good thing.
              I didn’t know that there were pharmacists that give info for free? What type of pharmacists are they talking about? Like the ones at a corner store or somewhere else?

              #1540816
              merrillannwhite
              Participant

                If it is something you can get at the drug store, even if it is non prescription, the pharmacist should be willing to give you any side effect or interaction information they have.  That is part of their job at the drug store.  Someone in charge of a store that sells vitamins and supplements might be able to help too, but I don’t know if they would be as knowledgeable.  I know you said you have trouble on the phone, but you might be able to get someone you know to ask for you.  You might also try to get in contact with a pharmacy school via email.  They might also be able to point you to a research study.  I used to know someone who has a pharmacy degree.  We fell out of contact, but if I can find her, I will see if she can give you some info.

                #1540822
                Landipan
                Participant

                  I suffer from anxiety too, it’s made a lot of things difficult to do like driving, getting a job, making friends etc. So I know how difficult it is to live with. I’ve dealt with it my whole life for the most part, thankfully for me the worst of it was in my teenage years, and nowadays I can pin point when I’m starting to spiral to a dark place and have different methods to try and help with it before it gets too bad.

                  People say exercise helps, and it kind of does, all those feel good endorphins get released, I always feel good when I keep to a good exercise regime. All the workouts I do can be done indoors too so if you want recommendations for youtube videos I can send ’em your way! I actually do take anti-depressants, and have for the last 10 years or so, I do think they help with my anxiety and my tendency to zero in on a minor problems and blow it up into a huge one in my mind. prescription meds are no joke though, so always be careful with getting put on them if you ever did decide to try them out(always remember tho that meds like that take time to kick in, and sometimes things get worse before they get better).

                  I wish I had more advice to give you, I know what torture it is to be in an anxiety spiral! I hope you are able to find some relief and peace, always remember that things tend to get worse before they can get better!

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                  #1540830
                  Ela_Hara
                  Participant

                    I can’t offer any concrete advise except to get at least a good support group to talk, vent, discuss, and generally have an ear to lend to you when you do feel the need. Support that doesn’t ‘push’ things on you or tell you to just deal with it….
                    I think you know that we here on the forum care and would be happy to help and be supportive friends and ears that you can talk, discuss and vent to — without judgement.
                    Hope the better days outnumber the bad, and you continue to experience better days more and more. It’s just as frustrating to us not to be able to help out as much as we would like to.

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                    #1540837
                    etruscan
                    Participant

                      Slightly off the wall, but you wrote, “Even if it’s 120 degrees out, I’m in a hoodie with the hood up, gloves, umbrella, and sunscreen sunscreen sunscreen.”

                      Have you considered whether some of the anxiety and depression is caused by Vitamin D deficiency?

                      #1540845
                      Kujacker
                      Participant

                        @Ela_Hara I always feel like a bother to anyone if I bring up issues, or try to talk to people. The irony of this is I’m one of the best listeners, so people rant to me about everything… but I just can’t do it back 🙁 I’m the person that holds it all in best they can. At least, until the breaking point. Then I just lose it, get weird looks/judged or what have you, then the cycle starts over again.


                        @etruscan
                        It isn’t. I’ve been tested for everything since I had a surgery a year ago and all my levels were within normal range.
                        I don’t want to get technical, but the sun is a horrible place to get vitamin D. There are better food sources of vitamin D, but really so many foods are fortified with it anyway. But I do have some vitamin D supplements, though I’m not a daily user, I do take them on occasion.
                        Again, my depression and anxiety spike during the warm months, and gets better during the winter. It should be the opposite if vitamin D was the issue.

                        #1540847
                        etruscan
                        Participant

                          That depends on how much you cover up in the summer vs in the winter.  Believe it or not, I have seen reports that some kids who use a lot of sunscreen have developed rickets, even with all the Vitamin D in milk and other foods.

                          #1540850
                          Kujacker
                          Participant

                            @etruscan I’m always covered up. I dress no differently in the summer than in the winter. I have a severe phobia of the sun. I don’t understand how people can let it touch their skin without even a layer of sunscreen. Even with sunscreen I don’t want it touching me…
                            Cloudy days are better for me mentally, but I still dress the same and use copious amount of sunscreen. 80% of the suns rays still touch you thru clouds.

                            Do you have studies for those? I love reading… I’d say it’s my only hobby, and things involving food and such, and to a lesser degree, medical related, are always an interest to me for books and documentaries.

                            #1540862
                            dragonmedley
                            Participant

                              Having had to deal with my daughter’s anxiety, here’s what I observed:

                              – Meds do help, but they have to be the right ones. Turns out fluoxetine is the best for her, with a bit of trazadone. The side effects were minimal when she first started and we figured it was best for her to take them before going to bed.

                              – Therapy… she refused therapy. We tried a few people, and only one managed to connect with her (school program) and she retired! So yes, therapy can help, but the hard thing is finding the right person for you. If you can find that one person you can open up to, it just might help a bit, if only to relieve some of the steam, so to speak. Do you have Employee Assistance Program through your work? Because some of these offer online chat – that’s how I first started to consult for myself, actually, for my personal issues. If you can get comfortable with someone online, then you might be able to call them or Skype/Facetime with them. It can be professional or online via a support group.

                              – The sun and the heat are part of the cause, so since you can’t move to Alaska (or Yukon), can images of snow and whatnot help, especially when you’re having an episode at work? Heck, even taking an ice cube in your hands!

                              All this to say that we’re here for you.

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                              #1540871
                              LZ
                              Participant

                                I think that’s because the method of absorbing  D is not the most efficient when ingested. Doctors used to prescribe 400mg, then 1000mg, then 5000mg daily, for those with deficiency, but you have to question why it keeps increasing over the years. Getting it through the sun is best, as that is the most natural way. The body is designed for it.

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