Depends on who is saying it, and that is a little vague. Because it is on the left, that implies to me that Serence is saying it, in which case was or were works. ‘if only he could’ works only if Kade is saying it.
(I never realized all the different tenses that verbs had until I took a little Spanish in high school – English is so inexact compared to other languages. Unfortunately I don’t remember any specifics any more.)
ok I changed it to “were” and added the tail to the balloon, so it is Serence talking.
I forgot it before.
click the refresh button to see changes.
Now I need to remember what other pages needed fixing…
Oh, now I see. I thought “If only that were possible” was a editorial comment, not a remark by one of the characters.
This way is less ambiguous, but to me an editorial comment was funny. Kade says “Chill”, the author interjects “If only that were possible!”, and then Serence starts his spate of instructions …
Well, I did forget the tail on the balloon, but then decided that I kinda liked having a floating narrator voice… then decided I didn’t… anyway it works both ways.
If I had started from the beginning with a disembodied narrator, that was indicated by a special shaped speech balloon or something, it would make more sense.
I may get stuck explaining something in the future and NEED that narrator …If you haven’t guessed, I don’t really know what I am doing!
The thread was getting a bit squashed – this is in response to Melody’s comment. Maybe it depends on the story line? If this mission is a necessary, vital, absolutely required piece of the “plan thing” ** secret plan to save the Reptangle **, Serence could be so uptight that he would acknowledge Dr. Lark’s advice but not be able to follow it.
The landscape is wonderful, as I should have said earlier! (I get caught up in the way the story reads and forget to mention the way it looks, which is great). 🙂
I have needed to leave out details of the overarching story line here… but Serence and Kade don’t know anything about the “secret Plan thing” . Serence is just like that.
Then I do prefer “If only that were possible” as an author’s comment. It is introducing a new element but, as you said above, having the option of interjecting information could be useful in future panels.
Of course, I know much less about the whole thing than you do! Maybe other readers have opinions?
Hokay, I changed it again, now it is a narrator speaking. Click the refresh button to see the changes.
But now …do you read it in the right sequence? Now I think I need to move the “chill” over a bit.
I read from top to bottom. On the “Chill” panel I start with the upper right hand corner because that balloon is the highest. Then I move over to the left and read down.
If a panel has two or more balloons at the same level, I read from left to right, and then move down to the next balloon, or balloons. Does this description make sense?
The back again narrator box still makes me giggle. 🙂
I tend to read left to right, no matter what, so I notice the narrator comment before the “Chill” word.
*So I did move the “chill” balloon over, to fix that.
“If only that was possible” works! 😀 Really great page, such a surprise seeing them sprout wings and fly!
“If only it were possible” is correct, methinks. Using “was” implies that at some point it actually had happened. “Were” is more, ahmmm… passive.
I also think “If only that were possible” is correct. Or you could change it to “If only he could!” and avoid the whole question.
Depends on who is saying it, and that is a little vague. Because it is on the left, that implies to me that Serence is saying it, in which case was or were works. ‘if only he could’ works only if Kade is saying it.
(I never realized all the different tenses that verbs had until I took a little Spanish in high school – English is so inexact compared to other languages. Unfortunately I don’t remember any specifics any more.)
ok I changed it to “were” and added the tail to the balloon, so it is Serence talking.
I forgot it before.
click the refresh button to see changes.
Now I need to remember what other pages needed fixing…
Oh, now I see. I thought “If only that were possible” was a editorial comment, not a remark by one of the characters.
This way is less ambiguous, but to me an editorial comment was funny. Kade says “Chill”, the author interjects “If only that were possible!”, and then Serence starts his spate of instructions …
Well, I did forget the tail on the balloon, but then decided that I kinda liked having a floating narrator voice… then decided I didn’t… anyway it works both ways.
If I had started from the beginning with a disembodied narrator, that was indicated by a special shaped speech balloon or something, it would make more sense.
I may get stuck explaining something in the future and NEED that narrator …If you haven’t guessed, I don’t really know what I am doing!
Yeah, I think I liked it the other way!
The thread was getting a bit squashed – this is in response to Melody’s comment. Maybe it depends on the story line? If this mission is a necessary, vital, absolutely required piece of the “plan thing” ** secret plan to save the Reptangle **, Serence could be so uptight that he would acknowledge Dr. Lark’s advice but not be able to follow it.
The landscape is wonderful, as I should have said earlier! (I get caught up in the way the story reads and forget to mention the way it looks, which is great). 🙂
I have needed to leave out details of the overarching story line here… but Serence and Kade don’t know anything about the “secret Plan thing” . Serence is just like that.
Then I do prefer “If only that were possible” as an author’s comment. It is introducing a new element but, as you said above, having the option of interjecting information could be useful in future panels.
Of course, I know much less about the whole thing than you do! Maybe other readers have opinions?
Hokay, I changed it again, now it is a narrator speaking. Click the refresh button to see the changes.
But now …do you read it in the right sequence? Now I think I need to move the “chill” over a bit.
I read from top to bottom. On the “Chill” panel I start with the upper right hand corner because that balloon is the highest. Then I move over to the left and read down.
If a panel has two or more balloons at the same level, I read from left to right, and then move down to the next balloon, or balloons. Does this description make sense?
The back again narrator box still makes me giggle. 🙂
I tend to read left to right, no matter what, so I notice the narrator comment before the “Chill” word.
*So I did move the “chill” balloon over, to fix that.
I really love the way this is laid out. The view from above to the landscape below is fantastic. 🙂
So *that’s* where the lovely peacock eye banners in the parade came from — they were modeled on Serence’s wings! 🙂