Giving Up-NOT!!!!–UPDATE-5/4/12

If you guys come up with a solution for this feeling, let me know! I’m working my Capstone project for my Master’s degree – just 10 more weeks of a 2 and a half year program and I’m done. D O N E – Done. But I don’t think I have 10 more weeks in me.

A week into the Capstone, my mom decided (on her own) it was a GREAT time to quit her job and move the 400 miles to live closer to us. I’m in support of this in theory, but the timing is terrible and she doesn’t want to do any of the planning.

So, I am trying to find her a place to live (we went and look at 9 places on Saturday and she doesn’t like any of them – I live in a small town so other than a few apartment complexes, there’s not much else to look at – and she doesn’t want to live in an apartment complex).

I’m trying to navigate social security, the VA, and other agencies to see what survivor benefits she is eligible for from my dad (since she is too young to retire on her own benefits). She doesn’t want to help and when asked is “too overwhelmed” to call anyone or look into anything.

Her housing requirements involve being very inexpensive, very nice, very quiet, allowing her dog, not being too far from us (but also not too close), low utilities, no small children near by who will make noise or destroy her car (what?), that has two bedrooms at least, and on site laundry.

She also wants us to pack, unpack, and drive her things from Southern Oregon. On a week day. When we both have jobs.

On top of this, I work full time and both of my boys are in baseball with two games a week.

I’m not sure how to just avoid giving up. I’m tired. I’m grumpy. I feel defeated. I have a very high threshold, but she’s managed to break it. There’s just nothing left… I’m barely making it through the day. I don’t know when/where I’ll find the time and energy to write a 100+ page paper.

I’ve gone so far as to draft a letter of with drawl to the program head. I haven’t sent it yet though…

I hope we both manage to find a way to just push through this and remember that it’s not that much longer and you can live through just about anything for a few months. Good luck!!!!!!!!!

I have to in all honesty first state that I have no idea how you all feel. I have never been in your positions in school at all but I do have to state that I am desperately jealous! I know that that probably seems totally F’d up but I am. I had dreams for myself when I was young but some bad choices changed all that when I had my son so young. I was going to go to university to study marine boiology and it all ended there.

I know that it all seems hard and coming to the end of it it seems like the finish line is still just to far but………don’t give up on yourselves!!! That is what it is….giving up on you and all that you have worked so hard to achieve!!! You have come so far and struggled so much and to throw in the towel right now is the wrong choice even though it may feel like the right one. You will look back and say….What have I done! You are strong individuals and have, can and will get through this. Dig deep and find it in yourselves to keep fighting for what you want.

DO NOT GIVE UP!!! Look back at your life and see all of the hard things you have overcome and know that you can get through this too. It’ll be tough, suck terribly and drag you down to the depths of exhaustion but picture in the end being at your own graduations. The pride that you will feel for making it and accomplishing all that you wanted for yourselves!!!

Sorry if I am sounding like some silly doctor! I am just a stay at home mom and maybe I don’t know what i;’m talking about but it is how I feel and just needed to say so!

Keep going, persevere and do it for all of us who never could!! 🙂

In the famous words of Dory from Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, that’s what you do!” You guys can do this, if I can do it, you can do it, & guys, I did it, so you can too! Hang in there, the finish line is in sight, just a bit further.

I know how tough it is, I’ve done the stay up all night thing to get it done, strangely some of my best work were those last minute ones, I don’t get that. Anyhow, been there, done that, got the degree to prove it!

Keep it up, you are doing great, even if it doesn’t feel like it!

Kyrin

I completed a PhD. I felt like it was torture when I hit my third year and I had probably at least 2 years (ended up being 2.5 years) to go. I wouldn’t recommend doing a PhD to anyone who is remotely satisfied without one. But if you’re not, it’s worth the suffering.

You’ve made it this far, and you can do it! The reward is a longer term thing than the pain.

Yes, I felt like I wanted a Ph.D somewhere down the road, but 2 years in my master’s program has revealed to me the errors of my way! All I want to publish are awesome magical realist/urban fantasy novels, you can keep your frickin’ dissertations and publish or perish masochist culture Ph.D land!

this……..

I have to in all honesty first state that I have no idea how you all feel. I have never been in your positions in school at all but I do have to state that I am desperately jealous! I know that that probably seems totally F’d up but I am. I had dreams for myself when I was young but some bad choices changed all that when I had my son so young. I was going to go to university to study marine boiology and it all ended there.

I know that it all seems hard and coming to the end of it it seems like the finish line is still just to far but………don’t give up on yourselves!!! That is what it is….giving up on you and all that you have worked so hard to achieve!!! You have come so far and struggled so much and to throw in the towel right now is the wrong choice even though it may feel like the right one. You will look back and say….What have I done! You are strong individuals and have, can and will get through this. Dig deep and find it in yourselves to keep fighting for what you want.

DO NOT GIVE UP!!! Look back at your life and see all of the hard things you have overcome and know that you can get through this too. It’ll be tough, suck terribly and drag you down to the depths of exhaustion but picture in the end being at your own graduations. The pride that you will feel for making it and accomplishing all that you wanted for yourselves!!!

Sorry if I am sounding like some silly doctor! I am just a stay at home mom and maybe I don’t know what i;’m talking about but it is how I feel and just needed to say so!

Keep going, persevere and do it for all of us who never could!! 🙂

And This……..

If you guys come up with a solution for this feeling, let me know!
my mom decided (on her own) it was a GREAT time to quit her job and move the 400 miles to live closer to us. I’m in support of this in theory, but the timing is terrible and she doesn’t want to do any of the planning.

So, I am trying to find her a place to live (we went and look at 9 places on Saturday and she doesn’t like any of them – I live in a small town so other than a few apartment complexes, there’s not much else to look at – and she doesn’t want to live in an apartment complex).

I’m trying to navigate social security, the VA, and other agencies to see what survivor benefits she is eligible for from my dad (since she is too young to retire on her own benefits). She doesn’t want to help and when asked is “too overwhelmed” to call anyone or look into anything.

Her housing requirements involve being very inexpensive, very nice, very quiet, allowing her dog, not being too far from us (but also not too close), low utilities, no small children near by who will make noise or destroy her car (what?), that has two bedrooms at least, and on site laundry.

She also wants us to pack, unpack, and drive her things from Southern Oregon. On a week day. When we both have jobs.

On top of this, I work full time and both of my boys are in baseball with two games a week.

I’m not sure how to just avoid giving up. I’m tired. I’m grumpy. I feel defeated. I have a very high threshold, but she’s managed to break it. There’s just nothing left… I’m barely making it through the day. I don’t know when/where I’ll find the time and energy to write a 100+ page paper.

I’ve gone so far as to draft a letter of with drawl to the program head. I haven’t sent it yet though…

I hope we both manage to find a way to just push through this and remember that it’s not that much longer and you can live through just about anything for a few months. Good luck!!!!!!!!!

and this……

In the famous words of Dory from Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, that’s what you do!” You guys can do this, if I can do it, you can do it, & guys, I did it, so you can too! Hang in there, the finish line is in sight, just a bit further.

I know how tough it is, I’ve done the stay up all night thing to get it done, strangely some of my best work were those last minute ones, I don’t get that. Anyhow, been there, done that, got the degree to prove it!

Keep it up, you are doing great, even if it doesn’t feel like it!

Kyrin

My mom is living in our RV as of this weekend. She and her hubby split.
Long story short, he broke his hip 3 weeks ago, they found a clot in his lung, has to do rehab and wants to live back with his kids and says he can’t take care of her anymore. Which means they’re giving their home back to the bank and my mom loses everything (3 lots she worked all her life for, she had a mobile but they wanted a new one) because it’s all in his name. She had to give a dog up to the humane society and brought her poodle. I couldn’t say no, he’s all she has. Which means I have to be very careful because I have 2 bulldogs who will eat him. She’s obese and does very little for herself. My hubby is pissed because she seems to have forgotten the please and thank you rule and I’m stuck in a sucky job with a convience store that doesn’t want to give any hours. So I do understand most of what you all are going thru.

Just keep on keeping on. My heart is with you. 😉

I completed a PhD. I felt like it was torture when I hit my third year and I had probably at least 2 years (ended up being 2.5 years) to go. I wouldn’t recommend doing a PhD to anyone who is remotely satisfied without one. But if you’re not, it’s worth the suffering.

You’ve made it this far, and you can do it! The reward is a longer term thing than the pain.

Yes, I felt like I wanted a Ph.D somewhere down the road, but 2 years in my master’s program has revealed to me the errors of my way! All I want to publish are awesome magical realist/urban fantasy novels, you can keep your frickin’ dissertations and publish or perish masochist culture Ph.D land!

I have an “alternate career.” Publish or perish no longer applies, and I couldn’t be happier with my career. I couldn’t do it without my Ph.D., though.

Do whatever makes you happy, though, keeping in mind that it’s not always what’s easiest at the time. There’s no greater investment than putting your future in your own hands.

Hello Lady,

I’m on the other side of your story – I teach adults. What you are feeling is TOTALLY NORMAL at this point in your education process.

As an adult educator (I teach massage therapy) I understand the tiredness, the frustration, and also the potential excitement that comes when you get near the end of a long programme.

So, I’ll tell you what I have told all my students over the last number of years – Hang in there. You will be fine. You have come all this way, given so much of yourself in time, money, effort, and energy that quitting is not an option.

I know you are tired and feel that you aren’t getting things as quickly as perhaps some others in your class, but trust me when I say this (becaise I see it literally every day) they are struggling, too. Every one of my students has had their own set of challenges and issues. Some of these are more visible than others. But, everyone has them.

If you want to talk some more, feel free to PM anytime.

There is a very calming exercise you can do, it’s called “whole brain posture” and it soes from Neuro Linguistic Programing, a system desgined to assist autistic children in helping them calm and focus. I teach this to all my students and they have all reported that it really helps them.

Here it is
Stand or sit. (When you read the rest of the instructions you can figure out which works better for you).
Cross one ankle over the other (doesn’t matter which one).
Cross one wrist over the other anc clasp your hands together.
If you feel a bit like a pretzel, it’s right.
Hold the posture for a minute or so.
You should begin to feel calmer and more settled.

Theres a Youtube video that deonstrates it too:

In a nutshell, it works because the cross-linking of the two body halves engages both sides of the brain. When this occurs, the brain actually functions better.

Again, hang in and PM if you want to.