[Laurie]

Please meet

Bart

Mugsley

Ripley

I have one more but will introduce when I know if it’s a boy or girl 😉

[Laurie]

Hurricane season isn’t quite here yet, but I thought I’d start us off.

As you now well know, we are in the peak of the hurricane season. Any day
now, you’re going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to
some radar blob out in the Atlantic Ocean and making two basic meteorological
points.
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida . If you’re
new to the area, you’re probably wondering what you need to do to prepare
for the possibility that we’ll get hit by “the big one.” Based on our insurance
industry experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple
three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at
least three days.
STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan.
Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida .

We’ll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:
HOMEOWNERS’ INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane
insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long
as your home meets two basic requirements:

(1) It is reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Wisconsin

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area
that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would
prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be
required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the
insurance business in the first place. So you’ll have to scrounge around for an
insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal
to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can
drop you like used dental floss.

SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows,
all the doors, There are several types of shutters, with advantages and
disadvantages:

Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself,
they’re cheap.

Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you
get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your
hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they’re very easy to use,
and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will
have to sell your house to pay for them.

Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane
protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand
hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so.
He lives in Nebraska .

Hurricane Proofing your property: As the hurricane approaches, check
your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio
furniture, visiting relatives, etc… You should, as a precaution, throw these
items into your swimming pool (if you don’t have a swimming pool, you should
have one built immediately) . Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn
these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE :

If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route
planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at
your driver’s license; if it says ” Florida ,” you live in a low-lying area).
The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your
home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic
traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred
thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES:

If you don’t evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them
now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible
minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with
strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition to food and
water, you will need the following supplies.

23 flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the
power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.

Bleach. (No, I don’t know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the
bleach is for, but it’s traditional, so GET some!)
A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a
hurricane, but it looks cool.)

A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody
who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate
alligators.)

$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can
buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near,
it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on
your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right
next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is
for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck, and remember: Its great living in Paradise .

[Laurie]

I’m a Mommy!!!! 😀 😀

[Laurie]

I forgot to add that I’ll keep him here till Wednesday. After that he’ll be in my ebay store. I also have a few other things I’ll put here after Kyrin is finished with them.

[Laurie]

kitsunelady wrote:

2huberts, you won the Lace Poad! Congrats! =D I decided to leave her alone and go for #6 instead. XD *high-fives* Good deal. Be sure to take pictures when you get her!

Thank you, something about 4’s. Now I just have to wait for the #4 blue and Pearl tiger, then that’s it for a while. I have to pay the cc bills now. 🙄

[Laurie]

I was wondering about who that was myself as a seller on ebay. If you pick up a couple extras and take offers here there’s the possibility of offending someone. Easier to do the ebay route. Well that answered a question for me, thank you. And no, I do not have any curlies 😥 although I do have the meerkat in the fleamarket. If I get no offers by wednesday to ebay he goes.

[Laurie]

Blackdesertwind wrote:

I think you all can appreciate this one…

I went into the gas station today and
Asked for five dollars worth of gas…..

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

😛 🙄 Yep, that’s about right!! 😆

[Laurie]

Start looking at about a quarter till.

[Laurie]

oh my, she is a pretty lady. congrats!! 😉 😀

[Laurie]

Know the windstone doc do ya? Hello and welcome.

[Laurie]

I just went in thru someones egg the first time, then tried to grab one and had to sign in and reverify.

[Laurie]

Yay!!! I’m so happy for you. 😀

[Laurie]

Dragon Master wrote:

OK I did the updates I could see. If I missed any just PM me.
2Huberts I could not get the 2 in your signature so if you want them added to the first screen just PM me the codes

on their way!!

[Laurie]

emerald212 wrote:

2Huberts wrote:

I just told emerald I clicked the wrong pm box. and I am a blonde. 😆 😉

It’s okay. I don’t mind. I just didn’t want to see you miss out because your offer didn’t go to the right person. We all have our days. 😀

Well, actually it’d been pretty good, I got 4 eggs from the cave. I won the Poad, and today is my last day at work till next year. so all in all = GOOD DAY!! 😛 😆 😉

[Laurie]

2Huberts wrote:

I have 4. any secret to showing them all since the siggie box won’t hold them all only 2, besides this way?

[Author]

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