WWYD if your friend did this to you?

[Jodi]

I heard a good saying the other day, and I like it so I thought I’d share it with you:

No boy is worth crying over, and the one that is, won’t make you cry.

I guess, in my story above, that I blamed the guy as much as I blamed my friend. Just because she threw herself at him doesn’t mean that he had to take her. That’s why I never got back together with him either.

I guess in a way she was a good test for me of guys. If someone showed any interest in her whatsoever, even if he showed interest in me, I didn’t bother with him. I wanted someone who wanted me and only me. And now I have him. Oh, yes. It hurt for a while, going through the wrong relationships. But I finally got it right. 😀 Hopefully your cousin will too.

[Kristen]

drgnlvr wrote:

Perhaps we have all had the experience of being on the other side of this too, where we inadvertently betrayed a trust or a secret we didn’t know was a secret or we were just young and naive about secrets or didn’t know the difference between secrecy and privacy. Then we couldn’t fix it, the trust was broken no matter how much we regretted it or got “forgiiveness”, it wasn’t the same or it just couldn’t ever be fixed at all and we just had to forgive ourselves and move on. It’s a very hard lesson to learn, it feels awful, but sometimes we have to learn it so we can know what it feels like and not do it to someone else.

*nods* I’m sure we all have. I don’t remember giving up secrets or anything but I have sure hurt some people I love (mostly by letting my temper get the best of me). Of course, they are usually my parents and they tend to be pretty forgiving. But it feels awful. I don’t know why anyone would do that willingly.

[Duld]

I know I am late but here goes

this happened to me 7 years ago, my best friend ditched me on a night out, WITH the man I (thought) I loved, I got so mad that I went to the next man that caught my eye (really this is so not my style) with my mind on rebound, (really this was the first time I did this) and now me and the rebound guy have a son and breaking up is not in the near future,

but drama isn’t my thing……. (felt like “dynasty” or something) how young is she anyways???

[PhoenixTears]

I thank everyone who has put forth their opinions and thoughts and stories regarding my topic. It seems to have been really helpful for Jenn to read about others similar trials. Sucks that it has to happen to anyone… especially when betrayal comes at the hand of someone you really trust but obviously misjudged. Oh yeah, did she ever learn. It’s said though that experiences like this just build a less trusting society where others look at others over skeptically even when deserved ppl are being true. Jerry and Jenn have many years so they will always be friends, no matter which way their lives go.

Thanks very much for all the emails too; and the stories (and support) within them. And youre right- I’ll always have to consider the source and try to remember the next time someone considers what I have to say, full of hot air and not worth discussing, as just a nasty opinion and not necessarily a personal attack. Yup, I hear ya! Judge not lest ye be judged.

Thanks again guys for all your sharing, advice and support. Some cool ppl still remain! See ya’s later 😀

[Setsunawolf]

Rae just might have been jealous of Jen. Speaking from experience here I was crushing hard on a guy one of my BBf’s in High School ended up dating. Anyway he knew and kissed me while he was dating her. Not one of my shinier moments here, but on some dark level it was thrilling because she always got the guy. Didn’t matter if I liked him first or not, she always got the guy. At first I was thrilled because maybe he liked me more than her…not really what was going on but people make mistakes. Anyway I couldn’t live with what had happened and I told her, he denied it and said I made it up. She believed him. I’m leaving out a lot of other stuff I don’t want to discuss, but since I was the “bad guy” in this scenario it leaves me with a view of the other side. In this case, and it’s nothing that I’m proud of, I was jealous. I didn’t tell my BBF about it to rub her nose in it. And it sounds like Rae was doing that, I told her because after some other stuff with the guy I felt she was in trouble with him and even if it cost me my friendship she needed to warned. It went badly, in the end she got to see his true colors, she was crushed.

But Jen needs to keep in mind that Rae has issues. Unfortunetly Jen was the victim. But maybe what she should take from this is if she wants to date a guy ask him. The worst he can say is No. This isn’t high school, nobody cares who you date. It’s taken me many years to get that point, I was a very shy girl in High school and I still am shy around strange situations/people. But i decided I didn’t want to keep wishing I’d tried for something becuase I was afraid…..still not bungee jumping or skydiving though I don’t want to die.

And listen to the advice the guys gave. When a guy actually tells you something about what men want it’s almost always sound advice 😉

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