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Volunteer mod- I'm here to help! Email me for the best response: nambroth at gmail.com
My art: featherdust.comHi folks!
Sometimes, when dealing in business with others (even friends and family!) things go awry. Life has a terrible way of kicking our butts sometimes!! Time gets away from us, or we loose our jobs, or the computer breaks, or any number of nasty things happen.
The trouble comes, of course, when we run into problems like this while we have a business obligation with another person. Inevitably, it is bound to happen now and then on the forum. Life is just too unpredictable for it to NOT happen sometimes!
So, I have a few rules I’m going to have to implement for when this happens.
1. Always attempt to contact the person you are doing business with in private. Always!! Email, PM, whatever is in the realm of possibility… try it a few times before coming here. Sometimes people have computer issues and might not be able to get back to you straight away.
2. If you have exhausted other means of contact and feel you need to come here, I cannot in good conscience disallow it. After all, if I was missing either money or an item agreed upon, I would want to exhaust every chance to get in touch with that person as possible too. However, we do need a few rules to help keep things in order.
- – If you need to make a post about someone that owes you in some way, you MUST make every attempt to contact them in private about the matter before coming here and posting in public.
– We are all emotional creatures, and I approve of that in all matters except this one: check your emotions at the door when writing the post. Charged emotions make for drama, quite simply. Keep it to the facts.
An example of what is okay: “Hi Everyone! I bought an emerald peacock hippo from Bobby about 6 months ago and haven’t heard back from Bobby or received my hippo in that time either. Emails don’t seem to reach Bobby. If anyone knows how to get in touch with Bobby or if Bobby sees this can you please contact me? Thanks!”
An example of what is not okay: “AUGH! Bobby is a CHEAT and a LIAR. 6 months ago I sent Bobby my hard earned money for a emerald peacock hippo and HE NEVER SENT IT and I think he might be blocking my emails because I haven’t heard from him. BOBBY IF YOU READ THIS YOU ARE AN IDIOT. If anyone knows Bobby I hope they can contact him and tell him HE OWES ME.”
Notice how both of the posts actually have the same information? But one is SURE to cause drama, and the other one probably won’t. Keep the emotions at the door when making these posts.
– What if someone makes a post about you? Or you know the person the post is about? Of course you are welcome to respond– what kind of person would I be if I didn’t allow someone to explain or defend themselves?
However, defense is only needed if there is offense in the first place, which I plan on not letting happen. So, if you respond… respond in kind, and keep your emotions at the door.-
An example of what is okay: “Oh hi there, I am sorry for not getting your emerald peacock hippo to you promptly. I had some health problems come up and time just got away from me. Our communication must have crossed lines somewhere because I don’t think I have the shipping portion of the sale yet. Obviously we had a misunderstanding. I will be happy to make this right and I’ll send you an email. “
An example of what is not okay:“You idiot, I didn’t send the hippo because you didn’t pay for shipping!! How am I supposed to send it if you don’t do that?! I have also been sick and you are an evil person for thinking that you are my first concern when I have boneitis. I hope you choke on your emerald peacock hippo!”3. Jumping in on one of these posts if you are not involved is probably not a good idea. It’s one thing if you want to say “Yay I’m so glad this worked out!” and it’s quite another to give your opinion on the matter. As long as it is polite I will use my best judgment when it comes to moderating, but in general it’s probably best to leave it to the folks involved. If, however, you are offering to help in some way, feel free to post! “Oh I know how to get in touch with Bobby! I will let him know you are looking for him!” is perfectly fine.
We are all adults here and I am not telling you exactly how to approach this situation, but at the same time we are all adults here and we CAN approach these situations with tact and discretion. Politeness, understanding, and keeping your tongue in check will get you further to resolving your business transaction than screaming at one another– help me to make it so! I really do want everyone to get along and be happy at the end of the day. I am also lazy and love to put the forum on ‘self correcting mode’… you guys handle situations very well and most of the time I don’t have to moderate much at all, which is a good thing. No one likes a moderator with a heavy hand. 🙂
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Volunteer mod- I'm here to help! Email me for the best response: nambroth at gmail.com
My art: featherdust.comi’m sorry i may have popped off a little…well i feel like i did and i’m sorry.
thank you very much jen ♥
Thank you for posting this Jennifer. I realize this is a serious issue, but… “I hope you choke on your emerald peacock hippo!” made me LMAO! 😆
Also, as for any comment I made in a prior thread, it was posted out of concern and not intended to be taken the wrong way by the artist which apparently it was. In fact, I complimented the artist and was genuinely concerned about the whole situation. 😕 I guess in the future I will just leave it to you to be the one to diffuse these kinds of situations unless I can be personally helpful.
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Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragonsdrag0n, I do hope that someone got a laugh out of that. I think with most conflicts when we look back we can laugh at them, if only a little, because in the end they seem silly…
The above message is one I’ve had stewing in my head for a while but was finally motivated to post it today. It’s not aimed at any one person, but at everyone. 🙂
Volunteer mod- I'm here to help! Email me for the best response: nambroth at gmail.com
My art: featherdust.comJen, I BWAHAHAHA’ed over the hippo, too! 😆 I truly do NOT envy your job as moderator – it must be as bad as wrangling crabby 15 year old boys 🙄 🙄 🙄
twindragonsmum :yes:
tdm
Of course, now I’m picturing an Emerald Peacock hippo…. I don’t think it should ever be done!
I did XD at the choke-on-your-hippo comment though.
twindragonsmum wrote:Jen, I BWAHAHAHA’ed over the hippo, too! 😆 I truly do NOT envy your job as moderator – it must be as bad as wrangling crabby 15 year old boys 🙄 🙄 🙄
twindragonsmum :yes:
I just live in my little world of rainbows and empea hippos, where I hope that everyone can be happy at the end of the day. 🙂
Volunteer mod- I'm here to help! Email me for the best response: nambroth at gmail.com
My art: featherdust.comtwindragonsmum wrote:I truly do NOT envy your job as moderator
Nor do I! Been there, done that! 😈 Although, that forum wasn’t near as small and cozy as this one. Kudos, Jen, for all you do for us!! 😀
drag0nfeathers wrote:Thank you for posting this Jennifer. I realize this is a serious issue, but… “I hope you choke on your emerald peacock hippo!” made me LMAO! 😆
LOL Ditto on both accounts. I’m trying not to bust out laughing-my co-workers would know I’m insane hehe “What are you laughing about?” “Choking…emerald peacock…hippo…HA HA HA” “….o.O…..”
But seriously- This is a good idea Jenn-thank you for being our motherly voice of reason <3
Also-if you send a PM to someone, and don’t hear back, how long is an appropriate amount of time to try and contact them through email or something? 1 week? 2 weeks? Longer?
WolfenMachine wrote:drag0nfeathers wrote:Thank you for posting this Jennifer. I realize this is a serious issue, but… “I hope you choke on your emerald peacock hippo!” made me LMAO! 😆
LOL Ditto on both accounts. I’m trying not to bust out laughing-my co-workers would know I’m insane hehe “What are you laughing about?” “Choking…emerald peacock…hippo…HA HA HA” “….o.O…..”
But seriously- This is a good idea Jenn-thank you for being our motherly voice of reason <3
Also-if you send a PM to someone, and don’t hear back, how long is an appropriate amount of time to try and contact them through email or something? 1 week? 2 weeks? Longer?
Some of our forum users are casual– really casual! I guess it depends on the person. PMs are not the best method of communication, because you have to log on to the forum to see them. I am not sure if our new forum software will be able to send email notifications when people get PMs either! So email is best. But, for someone that is regularly active, use your best judgment, perhaps a week or so. For someone that is not active often, perhaps more! This is a really individualistic situation.
Volunteer mod- I'm here to help! Email me for the best response: nambroth at gmail.com
My art: featherdust.com
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