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I was looking through my old journal, trying to remember the last time it snowed where my parents lived and I found this little bit:
“On Saturday (Dec. 30, 2001), Lee and I went to the back-rub store for the hour-long session. We also wandered the mall and I got the Black Mother Unicorn statue by M. Pena. Oh wow! I love it.”
I had no idea that it I had written that down at all. It’s bittersweet to read now, as it was bought on the eve of my husband asking me to marry him and we’re going through some marital troubles right now.
I could write a book on memories…I have looked back on a journal and am sometimes surprised at what I wrote. Things change don’t they? I have my own mixed feelings about this month which I will post about at a later date. I hope you work out the problems you are now having–maybe you came across that entry for a reason…..
I’m hoping we can too. Even though we’ve been together since the turn of the century (we literally started dating Dec. 31, 1999) we’ve been apart from each other for a great deal of it.
First was basic training, AIT, then two years in Germany. We got married at almost the end of his time there (June 2003) and moved to Fort Stewart (Sept. 2003). We had a little over a year together (but not really since they were training for deployment) before he was gone for a year (Jan. 2005 to Dec. 2005). We had another 16 months (but not really since they were training for deployment again) and then he was gone for 15 months (May 2007 to July 2008). He got out of the Army later that fall and we moved to where we are now.
I’ve figured it out that we’ve had 51 months (4 years 3 months) of 121 months (10 years 1 month) together. It sucks looking at it that way because that 4+ years isn’t even consecutive. Every time we were just getting used to being together again it was time for him to leave.
Then add in some intimacy issues (I very rarely want it, he always does) and it makes for a great deal of strain. I did talk to my doctor when I went in for my latest annual woman’s health exam (on Monday) and she had me go do some blood work to see if my hormones are out of whack causing the low libido. Haven’t heard the results of that yet.
We still love each other, but we honestly aren’t sure if we’re still IN love with each other. We considered marriage counseling, but his insurance doesn’t cover it and based on average prices we can’t afford it otherwise. I’m looking into some other alternatives, but even they can be a bit expensive.
It seems like your relationship is an on and off thing with him being away, coming back, starting to get settled and him going away again! Every relationship/marriage goes through a slump where you start to question your feelings for each other. Believe me, it is worth hanging in there! Counseling will help and worth every penny! There could be underlying reasons for your feelings and you need to find out what they are. Don’t give up! I wish you best and hope things turn out better for your both!
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