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I’m just hopping on here to let everyone know that those that bought unpainted PYOs or artwork from me off ebay, you’ll be getting your stuff soon except in the case of the custom painted golden oriental, which needed a longer clear-coating time and will get shipped Thursday.
I haven’t been feeling super well at my end, dealing with health issues and doctor-related frustration and depression, and no ssming cure for certain things in my life. On the plus side I no longer have any outstanding major medical bills, though on the downside I no longer have any Windstones save the family I set aside for the kirin painting contest. Oh well, Windstones have been there for me over the years, helping me pay off vet bills and now medical bills of my own, so I’m satisifed with that.
Artistically I’m kinda in a slump. while now I do feel better enough to continue painting I’m only going to do so to clear away my commissions, and won’t be painting any PYOs for sale on ebay or showcasing or whatever. I guess I’ve completely lost the ambition. actually lately I find most artistic stuff I do not really worthwhile but it’s probably a mood thing. As I go where the money goes, I’m seeking a new outlet. It seems to constantly change.
I don’t know if anybody else has ever had the feeling of regretting that they were artistically inclined but I can tell you I have often regretted it, wishing I had been more suited for work that actually pays off and can be an real career. Oh well.
Anyway, I’m still around but haven’t been on the forum lately. I’ll try to stick around a while though because I love seeing the PYOs you guys are painting up. Very cool!
*offers hugs*
I hope you get feeling better. I do know what you mean about regretting being artistic. Sometimes I think life would be so much simpler and easier if I were less weird, and could just be content with a nine to five. I’d have less stress that way, that’s for sure.
Hey, Water, sorry to hear things are so tough right now. I have a friend who suffers from depression, as does her dad, and they both say the worse part is the feeling that things will never get better. She descibes it as being in a hole in a cave – not only can’t you see a way out of the hole but you can’t see a way out of the cave. Now when she has a bout she tells herself hourly or daily “things will get better, things will get better”. It helps her.
So just know you won’t always feel the way you do right now. Things will get better. *sends mental hugs and warm feelings*
If there was only a for-sure way to make decent money consistantly for your time and effort that would be just fine…but it’s never 100% ever, and sometimes you almost have to settle for less in order to get jobs. You’re the forst other artists that I know whom I’ve asked that has ever admitted to regretting being an artist. Most I have spoken to never have. But yeah, if I could have the skill or smarts to do some other thing well, like engineering or doctoring, or vet stuff…whatever, I’d be all over it. But all I’m good at is…well…all these different art forms which just don’t really lead to anywhere.
Most of the depression I feel right now is related to seeing a doctor about the monthly agony I suffer and the tool it takes on me each and every month which keeps getting worse, and being told there is nothing they can do for me since I no longer can take hormones…but at the same time not giving me any kind of prescription for any pain killers or any hope about birth control options or just…anything good at all. And this is the medical advice I pay for! It’s a really long story, and kinda TMI, but I’ve come to my wits end over this issue. It has upset the balance of my life a great deal and ed to my ortho evra useage and blood clotting, and now leads to nowhere, no hope of getting any cure or being fixed (figuratively and otherwise) to cure my situation.
As for the blood thinners…still on them. I see the doctor again tomorrow for yet another blood test and he better let me know I can go off them because my CT chest scan didn’t show clots. I do not want to remain on these drugs. I want to live my own life. And how dare my gyno say it wasn’t the patch that caused my clots but the little form of lupus the other doctor newly caught, which I had tested negative for back when I got hit with the clotting! You never know who to trust ever anymore and who to listen to.
I’m sorry to hear you are having so much trouble with the doctors. I hope that you find a good one that can figure out what is wrong.
Watergazer wrote:If there was only a for-sure way to make decent money consistantly for your time and effort that would be just fine…but it’s never 100% ever, and sometimes you almost have to settle for less in order to get jobs. You’re the forst other artists that I know whom I’ve asked that has ever admitted to regretting being an artist. Most I have spoken to never have. But yeah, if I could have the skill or smarts to do some other thing well, like engineering or doctoring, or vet stuff…whatever, I’d be all over it. But all I’m good at is…well…all these different art forms which just don’t really lead to anywhere.
Well, the thing is, I guess, that most artists don’t try to make a living at it. They have a dayjob, or a husband, or a nest egg, or whatever.
And it’s like… there are the ones who just love art and it’s fun, and they don’t have to pay the bills, and it’s really just a hobby, so they have no stress. So they love art, it’s their joy and their fun and their break from everyday life.
And then there are the crazy ones, where art is their life and they couldn’t cope without it, and making money is just a side effect, because they just CAN’T not draw, or paint, or whatever, art comes pouring out no matter what happens, so they don’t care that it’s stessful, because it’s ART!
The problem is when you’re in the middle. When you can’t quit art, but you’re not so obsessive you don’t care.
Your gyno said that?!?!?! Um, I’d be looking for another gyno! Doctor’s like that really burn me up 👿
My brother has been dealing with depression lately and is currently on cymbalta. He went through several different prescriptions until he tried this one, and it’s a HUGE difference. He’s been dealing with his legal issues and not being allowed to work, not to mention his case manager constantly telling him he is a liar because he’s a car salesman, so he’s not to be trusted. EXTREMELY frustrating, and they wonder why he has been depressed lately!
I also have dealt with depression when I was living with a ‘friend’ from college. He was bipolar with paranoia and didn’t care about using people (we had started out as great friends.. two peas in a pod). Unfortunately, there was much I didn’t know about him before and people assumed I knew and failed to tell me until after I had left college. Needless to say after a year in that living situation, I left college for home, essentially turned off my livejournal, email, and phone for about 2 months and held up in a little hole feeling very depressed and ’empty’ spiritually inside. I was a wreck. I couldn’t do ANY music or art. I couldn’t even sing. It was hollow sounding. Having minor stage fright didn’t help. I think reading Harry Potter and going to a ren faire that summer was the most creative thing I did. I didn’t really start until at least a year later. I took it at my pace and let things fall into place and allowed for myself to heal (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually). It’s been about 4 years. Some of the scars still bleed, but I know where I’ve been and it wasn’t easy (I still have nightmares and cry about some things past). My really close friends have helped tremendously. Dogs to curl up with do too!
I’ve always enjoyed doing my art, because I’ve always used it as a stress relief and it’s something I’ve been blessed to be able to do since I was very small with very little training (though I’ve always sought out other venues for work). However, I’m also a musician and that has been where I’ve found my frustrations. When I first found out I had CFS and was studying flute competitively, I was prepping for college level study (I was still in 9th-10th grade). Getting sick totally brought it to a crashing halt. I couldn’t take the stress from all the tests, all the questioning from people, schoolwork, and the music lessons and I wasn’t getting any fun out of it anymore. I actually contemplated giving up the instrument entirely (mind you I had just forked out for a $2000 instrument the fall before I was sick). I just lost the ambition. I never did, but I dropped private lessons (at the time I couldn’t deal with it anyways) and opted to try voice. It was something different and new. I’ve kept flute as a hobby and concentrated on voice when I did music stuff at college.
Your art will always be there should you chose to be inspired to come back to it again. Hang in there *hugs*
I’m glad you’re still around, but I’m sorry you feel so depressed and have so much pain.
If it might cheer you up a little, the pink kirin on my gallery page is the PYO you sold to me. I will be putting up clearer photos… I got some good ones today with detail, so I will try to replace the ones there. But there’s the little kirin… 🙂
Try to feel better and don’t let things get to you. I have to keep telling myself that too, with school and money and everything. “I’ll get through it. It won’t be like this forever.” Some good mantras for you.
I’m sorry to hear you are down. Finding a reliable doctor can be the biggest hassle. When you are feeling down physically it is hard to face the day at times. There are many warm wishes being sent your way from here. I’m sure we all hope you are doing better soon.
While hiding somewhere in my head I'm on the lookout for white oriental dragons! Please let me know if you know of any available. Thank you!
*hugs* It is hard to be where you are. I suffer from depression and have for years. I’ve had many depressive episodes in my life, from teen years up to now. My life was raw after the birth of my son, but we didn’t recognize the signs. Finally, after I gave up my career right before a huge promotion, gave up my house and my life out west, moved 3000 miles back east, lived with my inlaws for 5 months and gave birth to my daughter, I just cracked. I’ve been on 20 miligrams of Lexapro ever since. I have no intentions of ever going to my meds. I hate taking pills, made my husband get a vasectomy so I didn’t have to worry about the pill, but I will always take my “crazy pills”. Even now, I still have the blues once in a while when I just don’t want to do anything I enjoy. Depression is a difficult thing to manage with. I think for me, the most important thing is just to admit to myself I’m having a bad time of it and to know it will get better.
I don’t know what part of the country you are in, but maybe you could find a specialist on lupis?
And, don’t sell yourself short, I’m sure there are other things you are good at besides art. You just can’t see it right now.
Keep your chin up, we are all sending you warm fuzzy thoughts! And, by the way, I am glad to see you around again, I;ve been wondering where you went!!
I’m sorry to hear about everything you’re going through too. Hang in there (although, easier said than done). 😉
I would highly recommend you see a naturpathic or Chinese medicine doctor, especially if your current doctors tell you they can’t do anything and if you’re paying out of pocket for expenses anyway.
I gave up for the most part on western medicine a few years back. Needless to say naturapathic doctors have helped me with minor and major problems. The difference you need to know is that western medicine is great for advance diseases or those that need very overpowering treatments (or those that need results in a short amount of time). Natural medicine is good for aliments that either regular doctors don’t know what to do about, like in your case, or if the disease is in the early stages. Natural treatments take longer to work, but usually are easier on the body and have less or no side effects.
If you’re not getting the answers you need from your current doctors you need to look for the answers else where until you find what will work for you. It’s your health afterall.
I wish I could give you the answer to your problems, but I do wish you the best of luck finding a better treatment. Blessings! 🙂
Glad to see you’re still around, Water. You will show pictures of the Oriental when he’s done, right?
Watergazer wrote:I’m just hopping on here to let everyone know that those that bought unpainted PYOs or artwork from me off ebay, you’ll be getting your stuff soon except in the case of the custom painted golden oriental, which needed a longer clear-coating time and will get shipped Thursday.
I was wondering if this counted for the large PYO keeper dragon I paid for a long while back?
Im sorry you are feeling down. I really wish the art market was better so all you guys could make a better living. 🙁
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