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I’m sorry to hear about your husband I hope he responds to the antibotics and is home with you soon and you can both hear the baby heartbeat – that’s got to be exciting.
Kyrin wrote:That’s good to hear. Bad to hear he may have diabetes on top of everything else. Hopefully he can get a transplant soon.
As to your question about whether its right to bring a child into this, knowing his/her father might not be in their life long. Think of it this way, it is no different than the risks anyone else takes when they choose to have a child. You never know what will happen, there could be a car accident, or sudden illness that can take a parent away.
You both wanted this child, and this child will be loved. And when the time does come for your husband to leave you, you will always have that beautiful little person to remember him by, they represent all the love you two have shared and you will always have that.
When it comes time to tell your family, be firm. Tell them you don’t want to hear anything negative about this child. That you and your husband knew what you were doing, and that you both wanted this child very much, regardless of what may happen in the future. You are living for now. You are an adult, and this is your life.
Tell your mom the same thing I told mine. This is my life, these are my choices, and I don’t expect you to approve of my choices, all I ask is that you accept them. And respect my right to make my own decisions. I also told her that if she couldn’t accept my choices, then I would step out of her life.
Accepting isn’t the same as approving, you don’t really need their approval, though it would be nice, all you really need is for them to accept your choices, and to be as supportive as they can.
If they can’t be loving, and supportive, then you don’t need them. Blood relatives or not.
You have friends here, and we will do what we can to help be as emotionally supportive as we can throughout all this.
Kyrin
Right On, Kyrin!! You stated the Truth Perfectly.
Purple, if you get a chance, print out Kyrin’s message and read it whenever you need a boost. You have lots of Family out here!I finally was able to see my husband in the hospital today. When I got there they were getting ready to put his picc line in so I was really happy. I had to wait in the hallway for 45 minutes while they got it in. They said they may send him home next Tuesday so I was all excited thinking everything was going fine. Boy was I wrong! Around 6pm he had his last physical therapy of the day where they make him huff alot to get some crap out of his lungs. When he coughed all he brought up was blood! OMG I was totally freaked out since that has NEVER happened before! Every time he coughed he would bring up more blood so they paged the residents who all came running in the room and were trying to calm us down. Here I thought everything was going so well and now this. The resident was really nice and tried to calm my husband down. He said that blood is not a good thing but its not as bad as we were thinking it is. They drew blood to see how bad he was bleeding and said if it didn’t stop they would take him in and scope him to see where it was coming from. I ended up staying till 9pm just to make sure the bleeding did stop. My poor husband is so afraid to cough now but he has to or else all that bad stuff will stay in his lungs. I really hope that was a one time freak thing that will not happen again.
laphon1 wrote:I’m so sorry to hear this, purpledoggy. Sending prayers and hugs for you both.
As are we! Does your husband have Cystic Fibrosis? It seems like he must have something along those lines to need a transplant.
As for the baby, he/she will be a blessing you will never regret, the only regret you would have had is not having a baby. Think about the future, it will be better for you and your child that you have each other if something bad happens. How could any of your relatives begrudge you and your husband to pass on the legacy of your love for each other.
Your child hopefully will have the joy of having his father, but if something happens you will have even more joy of having your husband’s child to keep him alive….and giving you someone to love as much as you love your husband.
Do not let anyone make any descions for you or worry about their silliness as they pass judgement on you…it isn’t their decision to make!
We are all with you and praying/thinking about you and wishing you the best! Be strong!!
Hang in there Purple, you guys will get through this, and he’ll get to come home soon.
If you need us, just holler.
Kyrin
Yes he has cystic fibrosis. Thats why he needs a lung transplant and why he has to go to John’s Hopkins which is an hour away from our house. I hate John’s Hopkins, every time he has ever been admitted there they always screw everything up. Since it is a teaching hospital there are like 4 doctors working on him at any one time and none of them communicate with the others. He had the same lab drawn three times the other day because they don’t talk with each other. Last year when he was there and really sick we had three different doctors come in and tell us three different things with what was going on with him. It was really upsetting and I finally got his cf team involved because of all the false information we were getting. I hope he still comes home on Tuesday but I have a feeling he will cough up more blood today and I don’t know if they will send him home doing that. It cost me $10 to park every time I go down there so as it is now I’m gonna pay $50 just in parking which sucks. I’m sleepy as all get out and I can’t sleep just knowing hes in the hospital so I feel like I’m running on empty. They also put him on isolation and anyone going in his room has to wear a mask but I never do and some of the nurses get pissy about it. I live with him when he gets the bug that they put him on isolation for so I don’t bother with masks. If it was to protect him then I would but I’ve already been exposed to it so why am I going to put on a mask. Some of the nurses don’t understand and some do. At least this time most of his nurses have been pretty good. My mom has been calling me to see how he is doing. I don’t answer the phone half the time. The last time he was really sick I was talking to her and started crying and she told me I knew he would get sick and die one day so I shouldn’t be so upset! I hung up on her for that one. So as you can see I don’t get much support from family in all this so thats why I come on her and pour my heart out. Ok this is getting long and jumping subjects, must be from lack of sleep lol.
🙁 Oh Purple, I’m so sorry. I’m glad everyone here is so suportive, but I’m sorry you don’t have family to say we’re here no matter what. Wish I coud offer more than a virtual hug. *hug* 🙁
Try to get some sleep hon. I know you don’t think you can, but you aren’t helping your husband or the baby by not trying to rest. Stress can affect your pregnancy, and I don’t want you to lose the baby because of it, so please try to rest and not worry too much.
I know you may not succeed in either, but please try anyway.
As for when he gets to leave the hospital, hopefully the bleeding will stop reoccuring and it won’t delay his coming home more than a day or so.
I see what you mean about your Mom, that is not the thing to be saying to your daughter when these things are happening. I suspect that part of her attitude is that she feels she failed to protect you from getting hurt, because in this situation, it is only a matter of time and you are going to be hurting. And perhaps she is mad about that, and it’s why she is so unsupportive.
She may be mean sometimes, and she may say hurtful things, but deep down she loves you, I’m sure. She just isn’t good at displaying it. Some people aren’t, and it speaks a little of some emotional abuse to her when she was a child, the things she’s said to you in the past. But I know it hurts to not be able to lean on her a bit for emotional support.
That’s what you have us for. I wish I lived closer to you, so I could be there in person. It really sounds like you need someone there to keep you eating and sleeping and paying attention to your needs during this. Do you have any local friends who could spend the weekend with you, and go with you to visit hubby, so you aren’t driving alone?
Anyway, hang in there, hubby will get through this, and he will be coming home soon. Keep thinking it, and if he needs a transplant, then let’s all hope it is soon, and that it succeeds and that his quality of life improves from it. I would hope that he can hold on for needing it until after the baby is born though.
But asking for another 8 months with no complications or problems is unrealistic, I know. But I would hope for it anyway.
Sorry this turned into an epic…
Kyrin
I hope his bleeding has stopped and he can still come home on Tuesday. Hopefully it was nothing major.
I think you must be a very special, brave person to have made a life with your husband. Too many people, knowing about his disease, would never have risked knowing or caring about him. That you did speaks volumes about your character. He is very lucky to have you in his life.
And if people say stupid things to you please remember one of my mother’s favorite sayings: like the Irishman said when the donkey kicked him – consider the source!
He’s HOME!!!! His pulmonary function went up so they let him go early. He will be a few weeks on home iv’s but I’m just soooo happy he is home! Thank you all for your kind words and prayers /bighug
Yay! I’m so glad he’s home where he belongs. Now you can get some sleep.
And you are welcome for the support, that’s what we’re here for.
Kyrin
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