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Ok here we go…
A blond had a grease fire in her kitchen.
She could not put it out so she called 911.
The operator asked for her name( she gave it)
The operator asked for her phone number(she gave it)
The operator asked for her address(she gave it)
The operator then asked , “OK mam how do we get there?”The Blond replied….. dugh…in a BIG RED TRUCK!!!
silly I know but hey it’s kinda cute!
Looking for White Dragons! Grail includes the White Secret Keeper!
skigod377 wrote:Did you hear the one about the three holes? No? Well well well…
HA HA HA! I heard that from a guy at work just recently 😆
In reply to Dark Zorse’s and DM’s jokes…
What do you call a man with no legs who hangs curtains?Rod 8)
What do you call a man with no arms and legs you throw into a hole? Phil.
What do you call a man with no arms and legs you throw from the back of a boat? Skip.
I got a million…But, most are dirty. 😈
WindstoneCollector wrote:What do you call a man with no arms and legs you throw into a hole? Phil.
What do you call a man with no arms and legs you throw from the back of a boat? Skip.
I got a million…But, most are dirty. 😈
And your point would be??
I know we have to be carefull about the kids but you can PM some of us!! *hint hint*Did you hear about the dyslexic, insomniac, atheist?
He laid awake at night wondering if there was a dog!Ok, this one doesn’t have any cuss words in it, but it’s sorta gross…Hospital jokes often are…
What’s the difference between and oral and rectal thermometer?
The taste. 😛
Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
My sisters best friend ( a blonde) collects blonde jokes and has them printed on T-shirts
WSC and khat, those were both good!!! 😆 (I worked in a hospital so hospital humor doesn’t bother me.) 😆
WolfenMachine wrote:skigod377 wrote:Did you hear the one about the three holes? No? Well well well…
HA HA HA! I heard that from a guy at work just recently 😆
In reply to Dark Zorse’s and DM’s jokes…
What do you call a man with no legs who hangs curtains?Rod 8)
I would say talented since you can’t hang curtains easily w/o arms and hands!! heheheheWindstoneCollector wrote:Then you know how to make a dead baby float right Star? 😆 😆
(Yes, this is truely tasteless.)
I know I’ve heard this one but I can’t remember the answer…. 😆
WindstoneCollector wrote:Then you know how to make a dead baby float right Star? 😆 😆
(Yes, this is truely tasteless.)
Oh don’t even start with the baby or dead baby jokes!!khat7 wrote:Did you hear about the dyslexic, insomniac, atheist?
He laid awake at night wondering if there was a dog!HEHE I like that one!! 😀 Gonna use that at work tonight
Thanks
Here’s A Christmas story to go with it 😈Lost X Files Christmas episode
Mulder: We’re too late. It’s already been here.
Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing.
Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into some sort of shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care.
Scully: You really think someone’s been here?
Mulder: Someone or some thing.
Scully: Mulder, over here–it’s fruitcake.
Mulder: Don’t touch it! Those things can be lethal.
Scully: It’s O.K. There’s a note attached: “Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice.”
Mulder: It’s judging them, Scully. It’s making a list.
Scully: Who? What are you talking about?
Mulder: Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who could travel at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants. Once each year, near the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the heavens to reward its followers and punish its disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite.
Scully: But that’s legend, Mulder–a story told by parents to frighten children. Surely, you don’t believe it?
Mulder: Something was here tonight, Scully. Check out the bite marks on this gingerbread man. Whatever tore through this plate of cookies was massive — and in a hurry.
Scully: It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder, this milk glass has been completely drained.
Mulder: It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without remorse.
Scully: But why would they leave it milk and cookies?
Mulder: Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing can stop its wilding.
Scully: But if this thing does exist, how did it get in? The doors and windows were locked. There’s no sign of forced entry.
Mulder: Unless I miss my guess, it came through the fireplace.
Scully: Wait a minute, Mulder. If you are saying some huge creature landed on the roof and came down the chimney, you’re crazy. The flue is barely six inches wide. Nothing could get through there.
Mulder: But what if it could alter its shape, move in all directions.
Scully: You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?
Mulder: Exactly. Scully, I’ve never told anyone this, but when I was a child my home was visited. I saw the creature. It had long white strips of fur surrounding its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated torso was red and white. I’ll never forget the horror. I turned away, and when I looked back it had somehow taken on the facial features of my father.
Scully: Impossible.
Mulder: I know what I saw. And that night it read my mind. It brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully. IT KNEW I WANTED A MR. POTATO HEAD. Scully: I’m sorry, Mulder, but you’re asking me to disregard the laws of physics. You want me to believe in some supernatural being who soars across the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and boys. Listen to what you are saying. Do you understand the repercussions? If this gets out, they’ll close the X-files.
Mulder: Scully, listen to me: It knows when you are sleeping. It knows when you’re awake.
Scully: But we have no proof.
Mulder: Last year, on this exact date, S.E.T.I. radio telescopes detected bogeys in the airspace over twenty-seven states. The White House ordered a Condition Red.
Scully: But that was a meteor shower.
Mulder: Officially. Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian reindeer vanished from the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Nobody – not even the zookeeper – was told about it. The government doesn’t want people to know about Project Kringle. They fear that if this thing is proved to exist, then the public would stop spending half its annual income in a holiday shopping frenzy. Retail markets will collapse. Scully, they cannot let the world believe this creature lives. There’s too much at stake. They’ll do whatever it takes to insure another silent night.
Scully: Mulder, I — Scully: On the roof. It sounds like . . . a clatter. Mulder: The truth is up there. Let’s see what’s the matter…
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