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sunhawk wrote:
I just remembered we have a user named Serenity, sorry for the confusion there 😉
LOL I was wondering what I did to get my name posted on here…. 😯 😆 😆 😆
Sorry to hear of the mess… hopefully something can be done to get it to stop.
sunhawk wrote:Well I told my mum what happened and she said “Well that’s it, no more evening get togethers for him” so I hope that gets enforced but we shall see. Thanks for the sympathy ^_^
I hope so! I feel for you because by how you describe the situation, I’d probably go insane having to listen to them all night.
Anyways, feel free to vent anytime!
sunhawk wrote:I know my brother has ADHD but he seems to be in denial that it has any impact on his life other than affecting his schoolwork. I personally think he’s quicker to anger like this when he stops medicating but I can’t seem to convince him of this. Whatever the cause, he’s got anger issues that I nor my parents can’t seem to get him to take seriously and I wish I could think of a way to avert a whole summer full of this absolutely unacceptable situation.
My brother is exactly like this. Bad ADHD, a very quick and (at times) violent temper… when he’s off his meds. When on ’em, he’s still got a temper, but it’s controllable. Luckily, he realizes that medication really does help him. My brother’s also one that will not accept what he is told. You can tell him something for years… but until it’s “his idea”, it won’t get through to him. Yours may be similar… so getting him to get beyond this behavior will probably be tricky. I think calling the police into the situation will just make him angrier with you, and it may very well turn real ugly.
Your parents definitely need to get involved. I hope your mom, since she’s now aware, will enforce some rules. Even if she doesn’t cut off the parties altogether… limits, and constant reinforcement thereof, work wonders.
(And just a thought…. if you don’t allow any parties… will he go elsewhere to do it? Where he could potentially get in even more trouble?)Maebnus3 wrote:Your parents definitely need to get involved. I hope your mom, since she’s now aware, will enforce some rules. Even if she doesn’t cut off the parties altogether… limits, and constant reinforcement thereof, work wonders.
(And just a thought…. if you don’t allow any parties… will he go elsewhere to do it? Where he could potentially get in even more trouble?)Mae brings up very good points here, especially the last one. At least at your house you can keep an eye on them to make sure nothing too bad happens, but every night is a bit excessive. Maybe talk with your parents AND your brother about limiting the parties to a few nights a week.
Lokie wrote:sunhawk wrote:Well I told my mum what happened and she said “Well that’s it, no more evening get togethers for him” so I hope that gets enforced but we shall see. Thanks for the sympathy ^_^
I hope so! I feel for you because by how you describe the situation, I’d probably go insane having to listen to them all night.
Anyways, feel free to vent anytime!
It’s partly having to listen to them (they rarely play any decent music, like the time they played techno for three hours straight…who plays techno at a backyard bbq??) but I’m more worried about disturbing the neighborhood.
Thanks ^_^
Maebnus3 wrote:sunhawk wrote:I know my brother has ADHD but he seems to be in denial that it has any impact on his life other than affecting his schoolwork. I personally think he’s quicker to anger like this when he stops medicating but I can’t seem to convince him of this. Whatever the cause, he’s got anger issues that I nor my parents can’t seem to get him to take seriously and I wish I could think of a way to avert a whole summer full of this absolutely unacceptable situation.
My brother is exactly like this. Bad ADHD, a very quick and (at times) violent temper… when he’s off his meds. When on ’em, he’s still got a temper, but it’s controllable. Luckily, he realizes that medication really does help him. My brother’s also one that will not accept what he is told. You can tell him something for years… but until it’s “his idea”, it won’t get through to him. Yours may be similar… so getting him to get beyond this behavior will probably be tricky. I think calling the police into the situation will just make him angrier with you, and it may very well turn real ugly.
Your parents definitely need to get involved. I hope your mom, since she’s now aware, will enforce some rules. Even if she doesn’t cut off the parties altogether… limits, and constant reinforcement thereof, work wonders.
(And just a thought…. if you don’t allow any parties… will he go elsewhere to do it? Where he could potentially get in even more trouble?)You are entirely correct about the “his idea” problem, which is what can be so frustrating. Like yesterday, I was eating and reading the paper at the kitchen table when I turned around and he had his rollerblades on my paper and was taking them apart. I said “Hey I’m kinda eating and reading here” and suggested he take it out on the back deck where it’s nice and sunny with lots of room. Oh no, instead he took them to the floor right in front of the staircase so that every time I had to go up or down the stairs, I had to be careful not to step on a loose screw or something. When I asked him if he could move away from the stairs, he responded sulkily “You wouldn’t let me do it on the kitchen table!” to which I responded incredulously “Do you think the place where we eat is the place to do mechanical repairs?”
You are probably right about why my parents allow the parties here, because then my dad feels he can see what’s going on rather than have my brother wander the streets, so to speak. I’ll try to keep that in mind before I lose my temper about it.
Ouch!
How about a little white lie and say the neighbours have complained?
Another thing… they’re all coming there because there’s food and alcohol available. Maybe locking it up??? one weekend to get the point across?
Or even better; give him a taste of his medicine: Staying this late up at night, he must sleep in, no? Well, wake him up real early with music he hates, and make a mess in an area normally reserved for him. Then he might understand more and the idea to stop might come from him.
The cops might eventually get involved no matter what; the neighbours might see to that.
I’m just throwing ideas as they come along. Hope they help a little.
Meanwhile: HUGS!
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmwolflodge100 wrote:Good luck, you have just described my nieghbors 🙄
Mine too, before the kids moved out. 🙄 I wish you luck too, this is a messy situation that has the potential to escalate badly. I agree with everyone else, though: the burden is on your parents. There is only so much you can do.
dragonmedley wrote:Ouch!
How about a little white lie and say the neighbours have complained?
Another thing… they’re all coming there because there’s food and alcohol available. Maybe locking it up??? one weekend to get the point across?
Or even better; give him a taste of his medicine: Staying this late up at night, he must sleep in, no? Well, wake him up real early with music he hates, and make a mess in an area normally reserved for him. Then he might understand more and the idea to stop might come from him.
The cops might eventually get involved no matter what; the neighbours might see to that.
I’m just throwing ideas as they come along. Hope they help a little.
Meanwhile: HUGS!
Weirdly enough, he doesn’t sleep in much, he’s usually up hours before me! :X And I’ve tried the reverse-mess idea but sadly it drives my parents crazy before it drives him crazy: never underestimate a teenager’s ability to ignore truly disgusting conditions LOL
I appreciate the ideas though! ^_^ And the hugs! 😀
I wish I could lock the whole house up when it gets out of hand, sadly our family is normally very generous with food and drink so we have a fair amount all around and that’s probably a good part of why so many kids keep coming back. Blah :/
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